Saturday, January 19, 2019

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Dear Ely,

My boyfriend is cheating on me! Probably. Maybe. The other night he called to say he was working overtime and he would be home late. He never works late! Then when he got home he brought me flowers to apologize for being late. He never brings me flowers! Right after we put the flowers in a vase he jumped in the shower. He never showers right after work! Later that night I offered him my body and he said he wasn’t in the mood. He never turns down sex! I can’t help but think he cheated on me. What do you think? And if he did cheat, what should I do?


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SHE'S SWEET. riginal.

I'm a tinkerer.

Tin, pertaining to the in: "are you banging some'tin in the garage as your tea is on the table and I'm not going to heat it up again because...?"

Kerer, pertaining to the fact that "becausea I couldn't KERER lessa becausea wea hada an argumenta lasta nighta and if your pasta tastes a bit tuffa - uh because it has gone colda - uh all the betta...HUH!"

No,my wife is not Italian, she's Polish. She puts a terse subliminal 'a' inflecting 'uh' with a dab of monotone when she's angry. Your missus doesn't play those sort... Read More


I wasn't going to go within a bull's roar of this subject as it's quite personal and a lot of offended spirits may shriek out of the ether of sexual disgust and heap scorn upon the horny dilemma ALL couples are faced with around midlife in varying degrees of temperature and time. Real and sometimes imagined 'intrusions' not accepted or welcomed with open or closed arms. BRING IT ON!

My apologies to HRC for any plagiarism she may feel in reference to her recent funny but true article on chillies orgasms and cake. This may not be... Read More

Conduct yourself with Dignity at all Times. riginal.

If I could just be serious for a few minutes. I was flicking through the channels-I put the remote down. I had one eye on the tele one on the remote. It makes one look like a madman but it is good eye gym. Unless the whim changes...and it did. The missus lunged at the remote. I sprawled across the coffee table and slid. On the way through I cracked my head on the china dog yelped. It drew blood but the remote was mine. "You're childish!" I laughed. Bloody statue, it was on the move again.

I'm a flicker with attention... Read More

Anyone who follows sports has probably heard of Manti Te'o, the linebacker from Notre Dame, and his girlfriend Lennay Kekua. During this past season, Te'o told of the inspiration he received from his girlfriend's fight with leukemia, a fight she ultimately lost. The only problem, it turns out, is that Lennay Kekua never existed.

The story has been all over the news of late, and Te'o claims he has been the victim of a hoax. Whether or not you believe that is up to you, but it does afford us a good opportunity to look at what modern dating has become.

Te'o and Kekua met online,... Read More

Here I go watching another Discovery Channel program last night on sexual mores in the US today, from the Kinsey Institute no less. I think they saved the best for last, because at the end they decided to do a rerun of social psychologist Ken Gergen's famous (or maybe infamous) experiment with students in 1973, that saw them put in a dark room with no instructions, along with others of both sexes, who were not known to them. Strangers in the dark. I remember as a psychology undergrad, you have to get a certain number of hours up, being guinea pigs in various studies. Now completing boring old... Read More

By Ravo

I was happy to hear that the German government, which legalized human sex with animals in 1969 has finally come to its senses and banned the act. The BBC on-line news reported on this development this week, and I have it on good report that across the country, there was pandemonium as thousands of swine milled about in their styes, grunting their approval. Apparently the whole sordid business came to a head when a little lamb named ‘Mary’ complained that she was promised a luxury cruise by some evil guy that had soiled her forever. “My fleece is no longer white as snow”, she bleated piteously.

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