Perhaps people in power should listen as Dr. Seuss and I talk to my children.
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
.Share and others will share with you.
More toys won’t make you happier.
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.
Always say please and thank-you.
When you are grateful and thankful for even the smallest things, you will be happy.
.Don’t take offense quickly or every insult and slight personally; sometimes other... Read More
Ray Bradbury sums up how my kids often solved their own problems. As part of a busy household, they often came up with their own solutions to problems before I could help them.
This is best illustrated by one of my son’s when he was six years old. His grade one teacher recounted this story to me. It seems that she asked her class this question,
“How would you open the garage door if there were no grown-ups around?”
All the kids in her grade one class just sat and stared blankly at her, except my son Joseph. He was frantically waving his hand in the air and then excitedly... Read More
I was thinking again tonight. That's twice this year and quite frankly m dears i'm exhausted. Why on earth don't they have a standard spelling for each word. Like MONEY for instance. America spells it BROKE. Australia spells it BLOODY 'BROKE AS'TOO!
Some spell it CREDIT CHARRED which in effect has the same intonation.
Why can't the car manufacturers make one standard key to fit every car in the world. When you lose your key you could just borrow the person's nearest you. I think some people already practice that.
We should all wear the same... Read More
LAZY JOE. RIGINAL.
Joe was born lazy. He was 10 years old when HE decided to be born. I kid you not which was Joe's first job. A 10 year old lazy kid.Joe's mother was lazy too. Out of sheer boredom and irate comments by the shoppers at Wallmart whom Ethel 'blockaded' the 'specials' aisle when she turned side on to remonstrate with the 'chosen ones' who couldn't choose anything in the aisle due to the mother- of- all- births.Joe was born/ejected on Fred's 'buy one-get one free' shelf which is utter crap as astute shoppers know. The 'buy one' is TWICE the price to compensate as if yews... Read More
My maiden name is Myers.
How many Myers Women does it take to drive a car in my mum’s retirement town?
"Three?", you gasp, "But how is that possible?"
Ah, well, quite possible when all three women either refuse to drive, are reluctant drivers or simply cannot drive a car at all. This is not some anti-female slur. I am simply relaying the facts.
The most important person in this triad was my sister, Elizabeth, the chauffeur by default, driving the intimidatingly large, luxury machine. Incidentally, the car's owner was... Read More
SHORTEST DETECTIVE STORY. RIGINAL.
Inspector Cramp took the call. Intended suicide. The call came through on a loudhailer as if to reinforce the urgency of his presence. "Inspector Cramp come down off the roof NOW!" The inspector edged forward, it was touch and go. He should be sitting INSIDE his house solving the murder of his wife,but he couldn't he had cramps. "Inspector Cramp come down off the roof NOW! You didn't do it! You had cramps at the time and your alibi "i don't have a wife" was VERIFIED so there's no need to jump." A wave of relief swept over the overworked Inspector. He... Read More
WORLD'S SHORTEST MARRIAGE/Divorce. RIGINAL.
"I pronounce you man and wife. Ladies and gentleman and that little nauseating uncontrollable 'ants- in- his- pants' care flee obnoxious little one sticking; or should i say dipping, his little grubby feeler in the onion dip DESIST! The former fleedom fighter,Rev Louse, regained his composure,glared at the dipper just out of diaper. "Pleased to present to you Mr and Mrs Flee."
The onion dip kid spat onion dip over the cake, probably improving the taste as the cake itself was cardboardic to say the least.
The only guest was onion... Read More
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