GIVE ME A BREAK! RIGINAL.
Jeeze! Give me a break! For God's sake at least break me a give in the never-ending story of "don't eat this don't eat that...this'll make you THIN...this and that crap'll make you fat! Close the windows and doors but don't jamb the dog or the cat cause that'll KILL EM' flat! " Specially the cat fur their softer.
Don't eat meat maybe as a treat but just remember not too much as it might affect your sitting member? Don't take sugar for it's far to sweet don't drink anything best to lick your feet. Don't eat burgers only if you must, you'll get so bloody... Read More
When a writing prompt asked what was the weirdest thing about my health, the question stumped me until I realized that my good health is weird; I mean, I had nine kids but I am tiny with the best good cholesterol my doctor has ever seen and such low blood pressure that if it was any lower I would drop dead. not one but three doctors have repeated the same words. This good health is a pure gift.
My husband and I halfheartedly followed natural family planning but I am a rare case; I have conceived 5 DAYS before ovulation. As my wonderful doctor once said,
“Ah yes, there was a woman... Read More
DO WE REALLY NEED 'HYPER' BROWN MODE? RIGINAL.
Staring at my toaster. I know i know, you're thinking "gosh golly you people in Australia have narrow perspective, a toaster is a toaster." Yes but mine is rather like my attitude to life,simple. I purchased a SIMPLE toaster. It...wait for it!...reflects heat onto bread and turns it into either toast or charred simile because i had it set for high- heat 'crumpet' which as everybody knows takes three days to cook on 'normal' toast range so you turn it up via umpteen knob settings (on expensive browners ) that you need reading glasses to see.... Read More
“If we are only as strong as our weakest link, our species is utterly doomed…) Here is a collection of some of our country’s “smartest” criminals!
It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, “This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line,... Read More
THE 'NOBEL' TRADESMAN. RIGINAL.
Scene: The year 2014. Many thousands gather to pay their respects and admiration to Tony the plumber who is touted by the bookies as an 'odds on' plumber to take out the 'Nobel plumbers' award by sheer dent of the fact that he actually turned up...in 2O14...the year of the leaking tap dancing, plunger wielding, slightly interested plumber.
Speaker:"And the winner of the not highly sought after"I'll ring you back be right round in a couple of weeks,missus just had a baby,not feeling that great myself as i had to fix my wife's plumbing in prep for... Read More
I am a happy anomaly; a quirky mother, book lover, gardener and now a new writer. I was born an old soul, according to my mother and spent most of my childhood buried in a book.If there is nothing to read. I have been known to desperately scan the backs of cereal boxes or phone books.
I once casually mentioned, to no one in particular, that I was simply an ordinary mum, when the diningroom fell silent. “No, I am sorry, Mum, but you are definitely not ordinary; you are the furthest thing from a normal mother”, remarked one quick-witted daughter. Everyone broke out laughing including... Read More
Usually the deep freeze hits in mid January but this year it hit in November and stayed. Our pipes to one bathroom and our washer froze twice in the last three years and at least 8-10 times already this year alone.
I am choosing to laugh instead of cry but for some, with propane prices doubling this fall, they can hardly afford to heat their homes. The United Way is running campaigns just for those heating with propane on fixed incomes who simply cannot eat, pay for medicine and pay for propane. Supposedly Ontario sold too much propane to the States to dry their record-breaking corn... Read More
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