Sunday, December 16, 2018

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Grace. Finesse. Agility. These words are synonymous with cats. They have beauty and style as they maneuver around with pinpoint accuracy to snatch a bug out of mid air, the swiftness to trip you up without ever getting kicked. Grace. Finesse. Agility. You can use these words to describe all cats. So why did mine just smash into the side of the table, face first?

Rock sat on the arm of the chair, looking back and forth between me and the table, as if to say “I can make it”. I stared back, “no, you can’t”. His hind legs squatted down and tensed up, “I can make it”. I rolled... Read More

What a blockbuster moment!! The media event of the year!! The two most self-absorbed women in the world, on stage together. Brought a little tear to my eye.I have obtained an unofficial, unauthorized, and completely imaginary but not that far from the truth transcript of the much-anticipated Oprah-Palin interview. I knew you'd want to see it:Oprah: I am delighted to welcome you to my show, Sarah! Is this spotlight bright enough for you?Sarah: Yes, it's lovely! I've been in lots of spotlights, and this is one of the best so far.O: I need to apologize for not having you on sooner. I had some... Read More

We get attached to our pets to the point of being ridiculous. Many years ago, a fellow employee of mine called into work sick because her cat was ill. As a non-pet owner at that stage in my life, I laughed my ass off at this person and razzed her for treating an animal like a human being. Now, I feel bad for ridiculing this woman. I have two pets now and I can completely relate. The pet person I was striving to avoid being for so many years is now ME.

Pets and their people have a long history together. From the beginning of mankind, the very first couple had a pet—a snake. Adam wasn’t... Read More

I love women. Always have, from a tender age, when Sally Ann’s grandmother caught us under the bed kissing and washed our three-year old mouths out with soap. I’ve had a girlfriend pretty much since that day.

By and large I have always preferred the company of women. They say I have a highly developed anima, which suggests, among other things, that I am capable of understanding women’s thoughts and feelings better than your average Joe. That this sensibility engenders trust is its own reward. That I came by it the hard way I am about to demonstrate.

‘But have you really... Read More

ever have one of those nights when you fall asleep before brushing your teeth? and you wake up at three in the morning with that god awful, gloppy taste in your mouth? so you lumber half awake into the bathroom?and you don't turn on the light because you don't really want to wake up?so you brush your teeth in the dark?and you notice that the toothpaste doesn't have that minty clean taste?but you brush anyway because it's not so bad and you just want to get back to bed?so you rinse and stumble your clean teeth back to bed all satisfied and what not?then morning comes and you reach in the medicine... Read More

The problem with young people today is that they are too tall.

When I was a boy I was short. Damned short. Stunted, you might say. And so were my friends.

I was 4’2” until my last year of high school, for Christ’s sake, and I was captain of the basketball team.

My dad was the tall one and if I tried to get bigger than my size-three britches before my time he’d have thumped me senseless and been right to do it. It’s disrespectful. He called me "short stack" or "shorty" or "hey you" and I was grateful for the attention.

You’re not supposed to be taller than your old... Read More

As I turned to look, she began to gyrate her hips in what I can only describe as a horrific attempt at seduction. The undulation of her flab beneath the tight-fitting fabric reminded me somehow of the lava lamp that I used to keep on my bedside table back in the Sixties. I was immediately transfixed.

“Huge,” I volunteered involuntarily, realizing too late that my little voice had gotten out, and that the correct response would have been “No, not at all.”

Truth be told, it is one of my most deeply held convictions that women over a certain poundage should not be allowed to... Read More

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This is really a great stuff for sharing. Thanks for sharing. Linear Modeling Survival Analysis Statistics Project Help