BAGS ON AIR. RIGINAL.
Look, mechanically speaking i'm pretty adept. Air bags. They save your life. But in a direct contradiction, the car manual states that an air bag when mucked around with can blow up and kill you! This is ridiculous mechanical verbatim. Car manufacturers you can't have it both ways now can you? It's a bit like being married to a bad bad woman. She can save your life or she can kill you. That's what the marriage manual says anyway. Though i'm not really into manual women i prefer the automatic version. Sure, you can't push start them, but if you keep them fully charged... Read More
BAD BUSINESS? RIGINAL.
Band aid manufacturer 'stick-em-up' which has just opened a store next door to a bank, suffered a major setback today when overzealous German sales rep Ike Gotgunz entered the bank. Now...you're thinking that the rep strode in, reached into his sample briefcase ,turned to the teller with a brief intro. "Good morning my cute one, i'm Ike Gotgunz try 'stick- em- up' from next door."
No sirree...Ike pulled out a surgical knife, with a dramatic flourish cut two fake fingers off containing fake blood from fingers handy. Handed the bored gum chewing teller the... Read More
WEIRD AINT IT? riginal.
Life just is so so weird. Weird is so so well?... weird. Hate people who over exaggerate a point of weirdness. What constitutes 'weird' anyway? Unusual seems to intrude on every facet of our lives if truth be known.
One of my previous poblogs was bout a guy i met whom had been ravaged and cut up bad by a shunting train. I was going to contact him after i saved up enough money to have a cold one with him but circumstance hastened when i found his wallet in the passenger well of my car, only because i opened the door on the passenger side which i don't normally... Read More
SUE A RAT OR TWO BUTT. RIGINAL.
Prof. Leave It, here. As a leading advocate trained in house trained rats and a former breeder of one winged butterflies more as a hobby than a business, i would like to share with you some of my findings.
Immediately, you think in Scorn, (you can think next to the village of Scorn if you prefer...it's warmer) what sort of nonsense is this? You may have deigned to stop reading altogether at the imputation of a one winged butterfly, preferring to pick your nose.
Let me state, quite emphatically, breeding one winged butterflies is not cruel.... Read More
THE EYES HAVE IT.RIGINAL.
Mate of mine, (notice i didn't say, a FRIEND told me this!) had a lazy eye.
Never did a day's look in its life. When the word "look at that cute woman" came up the eye would just look lazily the other way.
This in itself was an eyeful as the other eye had to do all the whistling and shout out "aye aye she be a bit of a bonnie lass!"
My mate is Scottish. You probably think i'm making this up as i go. Cute women turn eyes. Except lazy ones. Listen,here's a tip. The next time a cutie walks past you in the street stare straight ahead. She'll... Read More
What if the purpose is to invest funds in a money-making venture? What are the risks involved? What steps must one take to ensure that one does not end up losing one’s pants?
Here are some general tips to consider when considering taking out a loan for a business venture:
1. Interest rates are at an all-time low; so, take out a loan now
Now is the best time to go get that capital for your business expansion or to start up a small business you have always wanted to put up. Considering that even government housing loans are only about 11%, down from the previous 16% level... Read More
We’d raised our beloved chickens from the time they were bright yellow little fuzzy-balls, and we kept them well fed and wholly healthy. And when the time was right we even enjoyed gathering and eating their freshly laid eggs. Rich delectableness! We also planned to enjoy cooking a variety of chicken recipes: fried chicken, chicken and dumplings, chicken on the rotisserie, flesh smothered in butter and sage. Why, the recipes we came up with were mouthwatering and endless. Alas, we quickly found out that we just couldn’t eat our beloved chickens to save our lives!
Could you kill and eat... Read More
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