THE PRESIDENT MEETS THE ALIENS: RIGINAL.
Scene: A glittering silver saucer lands slap bang bump, in the middle of the White House back lawn. Burns a circular hole in the manicured lawn, upsetting Manuel the gardener. A White House armed guard rushes forward. Manuel gets there first on his dying ride-on mower, tells the occupants of the craft they have caused a mess and he runs off to dob them in to the President.
DT:" What on earth was that hum?"
M:" Humm, outer space beings Mr President!"
DT:" Outer space? There's plenty of parking out back Manuel...i'm busy."... Read More
As Christmas leaves us, I find myself reflecting on the holiday’s most tenured traditions. Grandma’s cooking, Christmas tree decorating, presents on the morning of, etc. One thing that I find to be commonly overlooked about holidays and basically all family gatherings, however, is my dad’s frequent usage of the word “neat”. “Neat,” now that I think about it, may be his go-to word. Maybe your dad says “neat,” maybe he says “swell,” and hopefully he doesn’t say “fresh.” Regardless, here’s the three different ways my dad uses the word “neat,” and to better understand holidays and family time,... Read More
PROTOCOL TO PRESERVE THE POLITICALLY CORRECT END- OF-THE-WORLD BASH:
I know i know none of you people out there want to see the end -of- the- world simply because you would rather pay your mortgage off first. Plus, hell- fire and brimstone- a biblical promissory note if we don't change our wayward ways-will cause havoc to the car's paintwork and you just polished and washed it didn't you? Damn!
As artistic catering director for the end-of-the-world celebrations i am on a strict health and safety licence. Just last week i had to email 'standing room' only ticket holders to EOW... Read More
For a party to be memorable, you want everyone to be entertained from start to end.
To achieve this, you want to tap into your young guests’ wild imaginations. And a themed birthday party is just one of the most effective ways to achieve this. To help you out, here are three timeless themes for an unforgettable kid’s party:
1. Prince/Princess Theme
You can thank Walt Disney for this theme’s popularity.Thanks to hit films like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and even much later films like Frozen, most little girls dream of becoming a princess. And because of its... Read More
Do you remember how, being a child, because of the lack of information about all the existing careers in the world, all the boys dreamed of being astronauts and all the girls dreamed of being actresses or teachers? Growing up, they all regrouped in lawyers and economists. Only I continue studying the list of all possible vacancies in the world…
Once I was looking for an extra job in New York and I got an offer of being Oyster Opener. I even went to a one-day training. I was supposed to work at a bar, behind a separate mini-counter, and open oysters. It was the most regular American bar,... Read More
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Is the four- hundred- year- old PHANTOM going out of his skull? RIGINAL.
My mobile watch received an urgent Tom Tom. The stuttering Tom Tom message was terse. "Tom Tom here, the Phantom having a devil- of- a- time. The only shrink's on the island of Bangalia are those who are bereft of leather couches and prefer to light up a cauldron and shrink those with large emotional problems to 'bite size' problematic cognitive morsels.
The masked avenger is perhaps not as mentally disturbed as a numbnuts Presidential candidate with scarcely controlled more hair than flair complete with... Read More
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