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Tuesday, October 16, 2018

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I have always heard that the mother is the heart of the family, especially a stay at home mother with a crew of kids, who also helps with a hobby farm. So tell me, why was I not missed after spending three hours locked in the chicken coop?

You must first understand that even if this was a subconscious belief, I behaved as if I was the most important member of the family. It took a drastic experience to shake me out of my arrogance.

Ten years ago on a very cold winter day, I decided to go with my husband to the barn. I bundled up in Michael’s extra set of warm boots and coat. Since... Read More

OLD McDONALD'S fowl SON.. riginal

No need for me to remonstrate with an ei ei o. It's childish. I'll get straight to the point. Old McDonald had a son,ei ei o. With a son son here and a son there...send son to uni...money everywhere. Yep, Old Mac sired a son in between busting his bulls promoting his e-commerce business which was for the want of a better explanation, brainwashing kids into driving their ei ei o parents nuts.

Luckily for the parents drugs were formulated to stifle the ei ei o phenomenon. Combined with the digital revolution and kiddies bringing weapons to school,... Read More

I WAS TAKEN. riginal.

I always vowed not to tell this story. For fear of the general populace giving me the thumbs down for being silly.Silly, however, is in vogue right across the spectrum of common senselessness at the moment. You may think i'm making this up as i go along which is usually the way i write.The facts i'm about to lactate you with basically happened. It was a dark stormy lactating night, sponsored by the 'Milky way' organ grinders. The milk sloshing round lactating in their organs provided a semi-noiseless encore for the fitful weather. Whether the wily weather caused... Read More

Been out of the loop for a while. Lately i have been tempted to put my head in one. I'm not the person of type to type my problems as i hate to bother people with my own personal problems. My missus has been giving me the sh....ts. Bought a house and she doesn't like it . And being of male gender this absolves me of all responsibility. Why on earth can't women just say what is REALLY on their mind? Why do women change their minds as often as the American deficit. At least America has an excuse.They voted. What on earth is going on with you guys? The big O Bam a lama resident leader in and out... Read More

HIS MASTER'S 'MOIST' riginal.

As everybody knows 'his Master's voice' recording company's reign is over. Not many people know the story behind the little two-tone unemployed dog whose undying loyalty and patience in sitting for umpteen photo sessions on the covers of umpteen records made him famous and a bone-e-fired 'cover dog'. His entry into recording showbiz told by his grandfather Uncle Hound. (of "you 'aint nuttin' but a hound dawg...just a rockin' all the time,") fame. But that's another 'Elvistical story' without paws.

My name is Hound Dawg. My background is one large... Read More

Jane Fonda, who recently talked about her life on one of Oprah’s master classes, characterized her life as a series of chapters. To Jane, her 60th birthday was the beginning of the third chapter of her life. I thought looking at life as a series of chapters was an interesting concept although I personally like to think of life as well…“life” – its winding path interrupted only by what I characterize as the “mid-life hump”. The “mid-life hump” is that prickly point between 47 and 51 when you suddenly realize you’re probably at the infamous “mid-way mark” in your journey through life. They... Read More

Answer: Three.

"Three?", you gasp, "But how is that possible!"

Ah, well, quite possible when all three women either refuse to drive, are reluctant drivers or simply cannot drive a car at all. This is not some anti-female slur. I am simply relaying the facts.

The most important person in this triad was my sister, Elizabeth, the chauffeur by default, driving the intimidatingly large, luxury machine. Incidentally, the car's owner was bed-ridden, suffering more over concern for his beloved vehicle than over any leg pain following major surgery.

Clutching the wheel, Elizabeth... Read More

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