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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

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FOR GOODNESS SAKE STOP PUNCTUATING EACH OTHER! riginal.

The English lost the battle of Cornwall. Obviously if you construct your battlements out of corn wall what else would one expect? The old saying "build it and they will crumb". And they did.

Crummy attackers. As soon as Richard the Lyin' heart opened his mouth and chomped down on the corn cob foundation he knew how if he placed his merry men (seconded from Robin Hood who made Marion type out a 'lend' contract) at strategic 'eat' points the previously peaceful Castle of Cornwall could be taken without losing their appetites.

... Read More

1. I hate scary movies. As soon as the music rises ominously, I start pacing. Once in a movie theatre, at The Lord of the Rings, I jumped and managed to throw quarts of popcorn in a 4? radius all around us. It landed in people’s hair, on their coats… everywhere. My husband has never let me hold the popcorn again.

2. I am the definitive bookworm. I read at least 5 books a week till I was 15, stopping only if I had too much homework to keep it up. My mother used to beg me on nice summer days to , “At least read outside!” Sometimes, to limit my late night reading, I have read perched on... Read More

All of Southern Ontario and Quebec was threatened with massive power outages on December 22 after 60 hours of freezing rain with most ot the 350,000 homes still without power on Christmas Day.The hardest hit area was suppose to be 40 minutes from us with a possibility of 4 cm-5 cm of ice build up which could be enough bring down power towers. How on earth was this the first days of winter?

Ah, yes…the joys of country living in Canada, True North Strong and Free and freezing cold. The reason we are free is because no sane person wants to fight us for the privilege of living here during... Read More

A cautionary tale for Yuletide

Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request... Read More

Subject: Scottish Blood

A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars.

A couple of days later, once again,... Read More

SO! YOU WANT TO FLY A COMMERCIAL JET? RIGINAL.

I've touched down on this subject before. Thank the God of plane flight as fuel was as it does get when flying round...very low.

Okay,first are you in a state of good health? YES? (then you don't live in the city with its incumbent smog and bad breath!).

So your eyesight isn't that good and your heart rate resembles the beat of a tap dancing mad cow wearing gumboots playing a mouth organ. Or some udder instrument. No matter what physical condition there's a licence for everyone. There's the E-bay one plane licence fits all.... Read More

HOW TO DEAL WITH KIDS' RIGHTS. RIGINAL.

Prof. Blistergot, world's foremost child tamer. My book was transcribed by my eight-year-old entitled 'IF YOUR PARENTS WANT YOU TO STOP CARRYING ON LIKE AN OUT OF CONTROL SPOILED BRAT PAUSE A MOMENT FROM BRANDISHING YOUR LITTLE FISTS- OF- FURY AND ASK YOUR MUMMY AND DADDY..."if i do, what's in it for me?" WORK OUT SOMETHING IN YOUR FISTIC FAVOR AND GET THEM TO SIGN IN GRAVY WITH A BLUNT SNOT/ POTATO FLIP BACK WARNING. "i really don't give a mashed fig you just told me is really yum yum and will turn me into a brainical low -cal student in latter... Read More

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Imagination Not Knowledge

This is really a great stuff for sharing. Thanks for sharing. Linear Modeling Survival Analysis Statistics Project Help


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