REAL STORIES
BY REAL PEOPLE Search
Thursday, September 21, 2017

« previous 1 25 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 1575 76 next »

LAZY JOE. RIGINAL.

Joe was born lazy. He was 10 years old when HE decided to be born. I kid you not which was Joe's first job. A 10 year old lazy kid.Joe's mother was lazy too. Out of sheer boredom and irate comments by the shoppers at Wallmart whom Ethel 'blockaded' the 'specials' aisle when she turned side on to remonstrate with the 'chosen ones' who couldn't choose anything in the aisle due to the mother- of- all- births.Joe was born/ejected on Fred's 'buy one-get one free' shelf which is utter crap as astute shoppers know. The 'buy one' is TWICE the price to compensate as if yews... Read More

My maiden name is Myers.

Question:

How many Myers Women does it take to drive a car in my mum’s retirement town?

Answer:

Three.

"Three?", you gasp, "But how is that possible?"

Ah, well, quite possible when all three women either refuse to drive, are reluctant drivers or simply cannot drive a car at all. This is not some anti-female slur. I am simply relaying the facts.

The most important person in this triad was my sister, Elizabeth, the chauffeur by default, driving the intimidatingly large, luxury machine. Incidentally, the car's owner was... Read More

SHORTEST DETECTIVE STORY. RIGINAL.

Inspector Cramp took the call. Intended suicide. The call came through on a loudhailer as if to reinforce the urgency of his presence. "Inspector Cramp come down off the roof NOW!" The inspector edged forward, it was touch and go. He should be sitting INSIDE his house solving the murder of his wife,but he couldn't he had cramps. "Inspector Cramp come down off the roof NOW! You didn't do it! You had cramps at the time and your alibi "i don't have a wife" was VERIFIED so there's no need to jump." A wave of relief swept over the overworked Inspector. He... Read More

WORLD'S SHORTEST MARRIAGE/Divorce. RIGINAL.

"I pronounce you man and wife. Ladies and gentleman and that little nauseating uncontrollable 'ants- in- his- pants' care flee obnoxious little one sticking; or should i say dipping, his little grubby feeler in the onion dip DESIST! The former fleedom fighter,Rev Louse, regained his composure,glared at the dipper just out of diaper. "Pleased to present to you Mr and Mrs Flee."

The onion dip kid spat onion dip over the cake, probably improving the taste as the cake itself was cardboardic to say the least.

The only guest was onion... Read More

As I sit by the wood stove, with the wind howling all around our old house, I am toasty warm. However our water pipes to the upstairs shower, toilet and laundry room have frozen for the fifth time this year. This has rarely happened in previous years. The temperature is -27 C with the wind chill. So naturally I want to talk about the weather like the good Canadian that I am because it is a proven fact that discussing the weather is a national pastime. This sort of Canadian discussion is typically a combination of complaining and bragging all rolled into one rant!

Read More

There are a lot of parents that may be wondering how they are going to entertain for their next holiday party. It's always a great time to get together with family, but the time spent together can be even better with entertainment. Anyone that has ever experienced a magic show will be amazed by how entertaining this can be. This is the type of Christmas party entertainment that is great for families with lots of children. Special occasions like this,as well as other events like birthdays, are perfect for magicians. These are the people that can truly change the atmosphere of any environment.... Read More

FOR GOODNESS SAKE STOP PUNCTUATING EACH OTHER! riginal.

The English lost the battle of Cornwall. Obviously if you construct your battlements out of corn wall what else would one expect? The old saying "build it and they will crumb". And they did.

Crummy attackers. As soon as Richard the Lyin' heart opened his mouth and chomped down on the corn cob foundation he knew how if he placed his merry men (seconded from Robin Hood who made Marion type out a 'lend' contract) at strategic 'eat' points the previously peaceful Castle of Cornwall could be taken without losing their appetites.

... Read More

« previous 1 25 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 1575 76 next »

Recent Comments

Stupid Laws

You may look for Expert Service providers who may satisfy how to write my cv service provider online or pass by a companion's suggestion. Notwithstanding, you must vet the administration before making your last determination. This determination procedure...

Imagination Not Knowledge

This is really a great stuff for sharing. Thanks for sharing. Linear Modeling Survival Analysis Statistics Project Help

Imagination Not Knowledge

This is really a great stuff for sharing. Thanks for sharing. Linear Modeling Survival Analysis Statistics Project Help


x