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Monday, June 18, 2018

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We are pleading with all the prostitutes, pimps, madams and domanatrixssss speak out. We know you have the real truth; it is you who have the inside scoop.

Who needs the CIA, FBI, NSA or any spy? They won’t protect us from our own countrymen. We need your help, those old boys and girls of Wall Street and Congress talk between the sheets.

You’re the only ones that can help. You are the people’s secret weapon. And if you are too afraid to help, maybe you just have some great ideas. Perhaps you could just write a book. I would love to read dirt on Ann Coulter, although to think... Read More

Today I found out that I didn’t win a short fiction contest that I entered this summer. In fairness, I didn’t really expect to win, nor did I have much of a chance. I’m not a fiction writer, and it was a national contest run by a magazine that features some of the best authors and writers of our time. But motivated by my girlfriend (an actual fiction author who entered and also didn’t win) and a fair number of cliches that are designed to keep me from allowing the statistical impossibility of things from paralyzing me into inactivity (e.g. “he who will not risk cannot win”, “you miss 100% of... Read More

There is a great deal of time and effort spent on the discussion of “finding happiness” – as though it were something you lost in your apartment or a small town in eastern Idaho that isn’t on any map. In these existential treatments, happiness is a creature of myth and legend, inexplicable in form and indescribable in function. In addition to the meandering and secret path that is alleged to lead you there – provided you’re willing to follow the advice of life coaches, talk show psychics and religious zealots – no one can really tell you what it’s going be like, only that you’ll know it when... Read More

A Mortgage Loan Officer died. She met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates where she presented herself for admittance to Heaven.

Peter said, “Well, you did a lot of good helping people get homes and access their equity and you also donated a lot to charity. You even worked with Habitat for Humanity. But you told too many “little lies” to the underwriters and were very rude and unkind to your processor, office staff, appraisers, and clients, and you skimmed over way too much.So, we’ve decided to give you tours of both Heaven and Hell and let you decide where you feel most comfortable.”In Heaven,... Read More

“It’s a $15-20 suggested donation”, says the hot dominatrix working the door.What?!!I’m at Anon Salon, a generally very cool underground bar/art space in SOMA. I’d been there several times before. Never paid a cover. There’s no band tonight. No theater or other expensive art to justify it. Their cash bar charges standard SF drink prices (think $6 Smirinoff cocktails). They’re making plenty of money. Adding to the cover’s absurdity, it’s a “Burning Man” event. Burning Man being the truly magical place I went for the... Read More

The large scale campaign conducted by the women of world to convince men that they are the only gender subject to the visceral weakness of our base desires has been wildly successful. In fact, if not for the periodic reminder that I get from a particular kind of young lady (including one particularly poignant example recently), I would have bought it lock, stock and barrel myself. Strip clubs, adult book stores and porn websites all cater almost exclusively to the Y-chromosome set, and the few all-male revues that do appear, at least to the exclusion of the gay male crowd, to be directed at... Read More

It's a great song; an Irish song, and yes, I'm Irish, through and through. I Knew my catechism before I could walk, and strode up to the alter at seven with the other little girls and boys; me in my snow white mini wedding dress and the little lads in their brand spanking new suits. It was great. All we had to do was swallow the body of this bloke called Christ who saved us all, never farted in public and threatened us with damnation every day in class, and then we'd get loads of mulas. The old money! Gawd.. it was great. Those were the days. Yup, the grass was deffo greener - and that... Read More

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Why do Students need to write Essays at College?

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