Monday, March 18, 2019

64 results for 'Steven Lane'

Newport Beach Gypsy Fortune Tellers in Battle Royal

By Steven Lane, published on Dec 8, 2007

A day after the Northridge quake, I was walking down Reseada Blvd. My house in Northridge was pretty much destroyed and I was just looking at some of the other damages. I was going by a store front business, almost all the glass was broken, and the insides were a mess. I looked at the one window left standing. It said, "Fortunes Told".... "$25 special." As I took it all in, a man, the obvious owner, was coming out to the street with a box of trash. "Wow, hit you pretty hard, huh?," I asked, "Completely wiped us out", he responded. I stood motionless for a moment and then asked, "Shouldn't you... (more)

Tags: california, hollywood, burbank

Take This Job and Shove it, Jobs that just plain suck!

By Steven Lane, published on Nov 14, 2007

It was a quiet, dark, little watering hole on the westside. Just past the tall red leather booths, in the dim light of the faux Tiffany lamp, two guys sat next to each other at the bar sipping their Jack and 7's. They were talking in a tone that would best be described as just above a whisper. One guy's face looked like it had gone though a meat grinder and the other's was made up like a clown with a cowboy hat, complete with a bulbous red nose. Neither seemed to notice anything abnormal, as they carried on their conversation. Pushing my diet coke to the side, I found myself leaning forward,... (more)

Tags: iraq, california, britney spears, sex, traffic

The Sickest Family in America Ordered to Pay $10.9 m

By Steven Lane, published on Nov 3, 2007

Try this on for a moment. Your son, your daughter, or maybe your sister or brother, is stationed in Iraq. The reasons why they are there can be complex and individual in nature. It's not a political discussion, it's just a fact. No one expected to die that day. Sure, everyone knew they were in the eye of the storm and death could visit at any moment. But, just fifteen seconds before the IED ripped though the armored carrier killing everyone on board, there was conversation, interaction, and probably a layer of fear, unseen but felt by all. And then, in an instant, all the dreams and the plans... (more)

Tags: iraq, gay

Mexican Horror Writer eats Girlfriend

By Steven Lane, published on Oct 26, 2007

The Cannibal Song (to Row, Row, Row Your Boat) Stir, stir, stir the soup Taste it with a spoon Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy Hope she'll be done soon. Shame on me for criticizing the construction of Mr. Bush's bazillion dollar border wall along the Mexican border. I publicly apologize, how was I to know that we faced the danger of being overrun with Cannibalistic Mexican Writers. Ack, shades of 28 days later! For the uninformed, on October 5, 2007, an aspiring Mexican horror novelist, Jose Luis Calva, was arrested after the cops found his girlfriend's torso in his closet, a leg in the... (more)

Tags: police, gay

Chihuahuas...The New Generation Rottweiler?

By Steven Lane, published on Oct 5, 2007

Next door to me, a very likeable three legged chihuahua, known by the moniker "Hashbrown," resides. "Hashbrown" probably weighs in around the eight pound area. Losing her left rear leg in an auto accident probably cost the poor pooch a pound or two. She is as sweet as any dog can be, quite happy to jump onto your lap and curl up like a donut and quietly snooze until you decide to move. I love that little piece of canine sweetness. She is the dream dog until...... Alas, there is another side, an evil, satanic side to this little dynamo. You see, when left alone in her yard this little bug-eyed... (more)

Tags: paris hilton, police

Ecuador....And a Jumble of My Useless Thoughts

By Steven Lane, published on Sep 30, 2007

I recently visited the beautiful country of Ecuador. It's an amazing place of time, sights, and smells. A tiny little country (about the size of the state of Nevada) with a vast variety of elevations and environments. It's a nation divided into at least four diverse areas. The home of The Galapagos Islands, just a 1000 kilometers off the Ecuadorian coast. And then there are the highlands, that include the colonial capital city, Quito, laying in its Andean mountain bowl at around 9000 feet in elevation. There is the rain forest of the "El Oriente", the Amazon Basin lowlands east of the Andes,... (more)

Tags: california, restaurant

Link TV....Television without Borders lives up to its claim.

By Steven Lane, published on Sep 9, 2007

How was I supposed to know it was there? True, I have been a paying customer of Direct TV for over seven years and I can assume, now, today, that it was always there. It was just waiting for me to look for it. I had never heard of it before, no one has ever spoken to me about it. I have never ever read about it. How could such a wonderful thing sit inside my TV without my notice? What am I blathering on about? Well, I am talking about Link TV, the worldwide satellite TV station, that makes and then lives up to the claim of "Television without Borders." Due to a recent back injury, I have found... (more)

Tags: iraq, new york, nasa, medicine, music, israel, iran, japan

Does "Made In China" mean "Hazardous to Your Health?"

By Steven Lane, published on Aug 6, 2007

Humm? It used to stand for "good deals", but this year has been one Chinese take-out disaster after another. The cake was baked with the news of contaminated pet food, exploding tires, toothpaste laced with anti-freeze and lead-laden toys, like Thomas the Train and wooden drums. Last month Hasbro Inc. ordered the recall of "Easy-Bake Ovens" manufactured in China. There have even been warnings by pro life organizations that RU-486, a chemical abortion pill made exclusively in China has led to at least 6 documented deaths in North America. The "icing on the cake" came on Wednesday, August 1st, when... (more)

Tags: medicine, traffic, china

When Was Bank Robbery Legalized?

By Steven Lane, published on Jul 30, 2007

According to a recent study by the Center for Responsible Lending, that amounts to about $17.5 billion a year. That is billions of dollars that goes direct from customer pockets into bank organized and manipulated profit centers. Is this legalized bank robbery, by the bank? Let's start this missive with one obvious fact: It is the bank customer, and only the bank customer, that is in the best position to know what their actual bank balance is. It is not the Banks' responsibility to balance every customer's check book. If the customer attempts to spend more money than what is in his/her account,... (more)

Tags: bank of america, bank fees, bank abuse, atm fees

So You Think You Are Good at Checkers... WRONG!

By Steven Lane, published on Jul 22, 2007

Checkers, America's favorite board game is over, that's right, GAME OVER. You can't win, not today, not tomorrow, not ever! No more sitting around the pickle barrel playing "stump the chump". No more Howard and Barney playing a game at Floyd's barbershop, while Andy waxes on so eloquently...Why bother, it's been proven that even when "perfectly played" you can't win. The best you can hope for is a draw. People, meet Chinook, The Checker Champion. Computer scientists from the University of Alberta, Canada have designed a checker-playing computer program that, quite simply, cannot be beaten.... (more)


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