550 results for 'riginal'
THE LATEST ON HOW TO STOP GAMBLING: (if you don't like humor please ignore).
Sooo...you're a gambler. I'm betting you won't admit it. :>) It's all been said and done, or is that sad and dumb? One of the latest medications i've developed for anti-gambling is a pill designed to stop your gambling in its tracks. The pill weighs 150lb. Now, place one pill on each window of your house and external doors. Place one pill on the gambler, if the playing persists add another pill.
Only gamble what you can afford. If indeed you have a Ford don't sell it. Strange fact is that... (more)
It's weird modern life, bit like a viking burial at sea, one minute you're on top of the heap, next you're a flamin' hasbeen. In days of yore, cavemen had it simple. Eat, sleep, go clubbing and Bingo, find a partner...or perhaps a partner to play old style Bingo with? The man of the cave brought home the equivalent to the bacon nowadays, for the lady of the cave to cook up a storm or create a smoking one.Yes, there was only perhaps a hibernating bear substituting for a front door to keep the cold out, and if the bear awoke unhinged and hungry...perhaps the propensity to keep the cave family... (more)
THERE NOW, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE ANYWAYS? riginal.
Hard to fathom, life? Each and everyone has their own portent for living. Take kids for instance...away from their mothers. That would take away their reason for living? Rightly so. Others live on the precipice of a fine edge, balancing careers with the indecision of whether to have children or basically devote their lives to taking care of business. An ever increasing majority these days in my opinion, which is worth small cents in the dollar of monetary accolade. Some seem more engrossed in putting their stamp on society, particularly... (more)
GETTING A BUZZ OUT OF CROWDED LONELINESS. RIGINAL.
The fly-by-night thief stepped gingerly. Launched wide-eyed off the disintegrating window ledge. A quick nervous glance around. Amazing! Despite being attacked the night before, the elderly pensioner had placed the remaining half of a succulent chicken on the shabby table.A sudden abrupt curse. Wham!
The cheap metal alarm clock bounced off the remains of the left- over chicken. As if on cue the clock buzzed strident. Briefly. Flattened the intended target. The gravy- smeared intruder died on his side...legs scrabbling. Fell short... (more)
THE OLD 'REMOTE VIEWING' MIND TRICK CHIEF!
I have solved the old- fashioned ubiquitous mobile phone, Internet connectivity issue once and for all. 'Remote viewing.'
A mindset of relaxing meditation enabling one to communicate through mind vibes with people over any distance. The army successfully used this method.
First loosen your clothing. Relax your mind. You are in a peaceful place, possibly peak hour in downtown New York. Here is the secret meditation sequence previously undisclosed....................................................................................................................................................................................... (more)
THE PRESIDENT MEETS THE ALIENS: RIGINAL.
Scene: A glittering silver saucer lands slap bang bump, in the middle of the White House back lawn. Burns a circular hole in the manicured lawn, upsetting Manuel the gardener. A White House armed guard rushes forward. Manuel gets there first on his dying ride-on mower, tells the occupants of the craft they have caused a mess and he runs off to dob them in to the President.
DT:" What on earth was that hum?"
M:" Humm, outer space beings Mr President!"
DT:" Outer space? There's plenty of parking out back Manuel...i'm busy."... (more)
THE FLY. riginal.
Just a fly in the year 2030. Smart. Knows all the buzz words. An artificial intelligent winged man- made synthetic fly. It was test day. The handspan size female Tarantula had spun its huge web in the laboratory glass enclosure. It was hungry still, though remnants of flybys, real carcasses, lay empty in the intricate woven trap of webbed sticky silk entrails forced deftly out of its body.
It sat quivering, fangs bared. Front legs moving imperceptibly. Ready. Waiting for a buzz and the awkward dumb move a fly ordinary, makes. Straight into web. Easy target.... (more)
FRONT. We all know the meaning of. To present reality but in essence much like a Western movie of yore, whereupon the cameras deceive by presenting angles of filmic which inspires our imagination to believe that the 'buildings' are in fact that. And as we all know due to expenditure/time, just an outward appearance of real, propped up buildings. Full frontal in artistic concept.
Human nuance and behavior mimic this in my opinion to a degree but then my degrees of opinion could be quite wrong and need degreasing. I believe with no exception or little thereof,... (more)
He sat alone, old. Nothing wrong with being old but old beings, well, they just don't count for much. Not that he could count much at the best of times. Living on the mountain had taken its toll. He led a tuneless life. Even the wind ignored his predicament. Refused to string along in harmony. It howled at the crackling fire, whirled, smirked and brought fine rain to smoulder and antagonize the damp cave he shared with his thoughts. His thoughts were smokey and hungover, rather clung- chilling.
The fire flared briefly in torment, knowing it was going to die... (more)
WERE THE ALIENS KILLED TOO? RIGINAL.
Ever since foot slog dreary turned to horsepower and in turn turned a crank full of explosive horsepower, foolish though cunning fuel protective monoliths have made sure any new 'you beaut' propulsion system remains 'killed.' Paid off. Either money paid and or after the fact, inventors of new sources of power have simply disappeared. A lot buried, along with their invention.
Indeed fossil fuel fanatics seek to keep the good oil flowing and alternative slowing...till it vanishes in the mist of dime. Or rather,many dimes. No need to delve... (more)