Bringer Of Pain

Addictions plague our friends, family, and neighbors. It need not be a substance, but the consequences still the same, bringing pain, both for the user and those who try in vain to love them in spite of the torturous twists and turns of their habit. To the addict: There are no easy answers, just don't ever stop trying, get back up and keep on fighting. “Healey’s First Law Of Holes: When in one, stop digging.” - Denis Healey

Alone again in a cheap hotel room The small TV flickering The nasty images tempting Once again I put my fate in the hands of the Bringer of Pain... (more)

Tags: pain, terror, abuse, lonely, money, hotel, fate, addiction, phone, mirror, carpet, cheap, scream, sounds

The Specter Of Love

"Listening for the chirp, the space sounds of my phone

Everything stops when it rings,

My whole body tense, waiting for the vibration of her call

Everything stops when I wait for her

Early morning when it rings, I open my eyes

Everything stops when I wake to her

A text, proclaiming her need of me

Everything stops when I understand

She is with my friend, he is beating her

Everything stops when I kill"

- Everything Stops, D.M.W. Sager

I take a deep breath. Jealousy. A cruel and unrelenting task master; holding... (more)

Tags: poem, death, anger, hate, kill, destruction, phone, jealousy, violate, beating, deranged, disguise, flames, hostage, motive, specter, text

A Hiding Place

“There are no 'if's' in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety - let us pray that we may always know it!” - Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Safety. A relative term, as I can feel safe in places others can't. The reverse is true as well, there are common things that cause me to feel threatened. This feeling of safety is one of the casualties of being a victim of a violent crime, especially a sexual crime. Safety isn't a feeling however. Feeling safe and being safe can be entirely different things. I have... (more)

Tags: sex, conspiracy, essay, feelings, crime, terror, violent, safety, protected, comfort, discipline, laugh, fight, threat, feeling, derision, shelter

My Discordant Song

My defects have become me, to lay them down is to die. Don't try to change me; to force me to get help is to force me to be someone else. You think you can help me, or should help me. Is my deficit that annoying for you to bear? Don't fix me to make yourself feel better; realize that in trying to fix me, you are tearing me apart. I know I'm sick, I'm ill, I'm addicted. I binge, purge, use, fixate, cut, obsess, worry, and rage. I listen to voices that tell me about how you want to change me, to make me better. Really? I don't see the life you live as better. I see that your scared to let your... (more)

Tags: change, symphony, force, song, guilt, worry, rage, binge, cut, defects, dysfunctional, fix, fixate, obsess, purge, use, addicted, discord, notes, leash, bored

Those Thoughts Again

Shame, a burning feeling in my cheeks, in my mind, in my skin. I feel everyone knows my misdeed. I can't believe I ever stooped so low; that I would not listen to the voice inside that would have kept me safe, (or so I thought); that I would let myself betray me; that I would put myself in that place. It wasn’t always me. I didn’t ask for that situation or do anything wrong. But still the shame persists. A constant nagging burning feeling that makes me feel less than, less than anything. It burns through all my identities, creating a self hating monster inside of me. I can't stop the... (more)

Tags: music, god, alcohol, drugs, monster, party, kissing, gangs, burning, cheeks, comfortable, feeling, loathing, low, negative, self hating, shame, unguarded

Endless Sky

I lit the coals with yearning,

deeper than times sand.

I stoke them daily with nature's trinkets

Mischievously taking you in hand.

-

Tender violence my guide

Bringing you to passions door

The flames burn hot and long

We consummate the lore

-

Fighting to feel not wanting to resist

Together in universal rhythm we tread

Heat of friction driving your desire

Caught in throes, an endless sky our bed

-

Tied with bonds of forbidden

Bringing creation to savor the burst,

I find you my... (more)

Tags: poem, violence, passion, sand, sky, fire, bed, thirst, throes, trinkets, hand, coals

Glory Undone

“Your legs splayed in graphic way

Wanting to leave this world, come and play

Scoring your hits under the dark world

Flying, inhibition burned in a pink pearl

Reaching to touch your body magnificent

I'm held at bay by your habit's descent

Changed from a fondled object of desire

Picking at your curves that soft skin on fire

Tears they are my lover as you fade from sight

Pleasure was ours until you hid in your night” - Nightfall, D.M.W. Sager

Glory is undone as the softness turns to a melted waste of surrender Gone... (more)

Tags: fear, soul, addictions, surrender, dive, gold, jewel, murky, naked, stain, womanhood

You Are Not - A poets revenge against cliche's

You are not like every cliche repeated often till meaning dies You are like brilliant truth, revealing my weakness for your body You are not like a rose whose fragrance and guarded beauty is an honorable mention You are like the smell of a thousand pines calling and seducing me to lay in your arms You are not like an angel whose wings carried you to me from afar Your are like mischievous devils whose temptations take me from fantasy to reality You are not like a song, a tune sung over and over, children clapping their hands You are like the sounds of waves, crashing your sexuality over... (more)

Tags: poem, truth, poet, rose, lightning, beauty, space, angel, cliche, fragrance, wings, devils, pines, waves

Released

I will guide you through your inhibitions To secret places beyond skin Slaying your fears and laying them at rest Released to feel abandon within Drop your fetters they are unable to keep you Rising on heated drafts of sense Plunging deep beneath waterfalls of escape Servants of winged concupiscence All your life woman, longing to aimlessly run A doe in grasses frolicking without censor Jumping over pillows of mossy wood Finding safety in my fertile pasture

First written in Opinionsofeye.com

Tags: grass, safety, fears, abandon, doe, wood, wings, skin, drafts, fetters, moss, pasture, run, sense, slaying

Reasons - Look past the awkwardness and see the pain

There are reasons at times my interactions with people seem strained. I say the wrong things. I limp through my social circles, everyone making way for my awkward presence. I bring up subjects deep and poignant. I provoke thoughts, thoughts you are not accustomed to. I speak in a way you find odd. My accent tainted, not pure, not from any one place. The same with my mannerisms. I don't know how to hold my hands in crowd. I wonder if the way I'm standing is threatening. If a purse is left close to me, I walk away, believing you'll accuse me if something is missing. Trying to drive with a thousand... (more)

Tags: violence, social, fight, eyes, argued, awkward, body hate, clothes, melancholy, nose, skin, ungainly, weapon