Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Let Me Qualify That

Credit: ©Pinup Toons CI-5885LM
The picture is created in Paint Shop Pro which is one of my hobbies. Just decoration

How do we know if we have succeeded unless we have set parameters to mark our success?

Let Me Qualify That!

‘I’m a failure!’

I used to say this quite frequently. I would look back over my life and ask myself just what had I accomplished? Had I realized even one of the dreams I held so dear as a child? But then, one day, I had a revelation.

So what were my dreams? What had I hoped to do with my life?

First and foremost I always wanted to be a writer. To me, being a writer meant having a best seller – being a household name, like Stephen King, or Dean Koontz. Well, it never happened. However I did have a piece of my work published. I took part in an online writing course, at the end of which a collection of short stories, including one of mine, was published in book form and made available for purchase. I don’t know how many copies were actually sold – apart from the three that I bought personally. The fact remains I DID become a published author, but just not on the scale I imagined – and why? Could it be because I didn’t actually include the parameters for that scale in my original goal setting? That I didn’t qualify my expectations?

Another of my goals in life was to be a singer with a band. In hindsight I realize that I would never have made the big time as a vocalist. I simply don’t have the range or the power and I most certainly don’t have the dance moves. But for several years I sang back up with a group of Church musicians. On one occasion I was asked to lead the choruses at a Rally in the local Civic and Arts Centre. We had arranged a guest spot by a well known Christian Rock by the name of Victory and they had been busily setting up all of their equipment on the stage.

I was to be accompanied by a solo electric guitarist, and a backup vocalist, but it was a major operation just trying to find somewhere for us to stand without tripping over all the cables. Our fold back speakers were picking up too much interference from all of the rock band’s equipment and it was panic stations all around. Then the rock band suddenly announced that it would be much easier and safer for all concerned if they did the accompaniment themselves.

So I got to sing with a rock band in front of an audience of some 350 people.

Again I DID get to realize a dream – but not as I imagined it. I can look back over my life and see this as a common thread. I really have done most of the things I ever thought I might like to do. Yet because I failed to qualify exactly what I meant with regard to the successful completion of those goals – I’ve looked back and seen only failure.

But it’s not too late. I can still learn from my experiences. I can make sure, in future, that when I set a goal, I qualify what I see as the realization of that goal. Who knows then what I can achieve?

©Lyn Murphy 2010

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Briselle is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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6 comments on Let Me Qualify That

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By Ray Colon on September 12, 2010 at 09:14 am

Hi Lyn,

It is interesting, and sometimes also daunting, to look back and assess if we have followed our youthful dreams and accomplished the things that we set out to do. I think that we tend not to qualify our dreams, especially when we are very young, because by doing so we may unknowingly limit ourselves as well.

As we make our way though life we overcome some barriers to success, but we also begin to recognize that there are some barriers that we just cannot push through. This is when we begin to modify our expectations. This is not a bad thing, as we cannot be the best at everything that we do. We discover and refine those talents that we can use best to our advantage. The focus that comes from this process of self-assessment can be invaluable in shaping what we do and how well we do it.

I would not poo poo your achievements; however qualified you may view them, because each is a positive step towards the actual living of those early visions of your future. Dreams may change, but it is our desire to achieve those dreams, the old ones as well as the new, that allows us to continually strive to reach a level of fulfillment in everything that we do. Ray

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By Lady D on September 12, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Like Lilly Tomlin says, "not sure what it means to be a success in a mediocure world.

There is nothing more important than feeling good.Dreamers always make the world a better place.

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By Briselle on September 12, 2010 at 09:04 pm

Thank you for your comments Ray and Lady D. I see you both have quite a few posts so I look forward to working my way through them. There is just so much to be learned and so many great ideas to be found in the writings of others.

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By l0oree on September 12, 2010 at 11:30 pm

I set short-term goals and long-term goals for myself. The short-term goals make the long-term goals possible. That way I am always working to achieve success and if something gets in the way I plan out more short term goals to get back on track. Sometimes its a merry-go-round ride. NO one not even a physc nurse can tell me my goal is not a good goal. I reported a nurse like that to the Physchiatrist. My goal that day was to seek treatment for an ear infection I was having at the time. My health is the most important goal for me. that is always number one. You can't meet your goal for sure if your dead. My longest term goal is to live in a big nice house on the beach with a nice swimming pool with all my friends and family and we would sing laugh and have fun all the time. I would write books. My middle goal is to get my master's degree. I have looked into it but not started yet. I have had some finacial set backs. But I can do the degree on the computer. Writing is all thats left to do after the RN liscenure. Research, research, I already have research ideas.

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By l0oree on September 13, 2010 at 12:42 am

exactly taz migrate to something better:) The ultimate for me is heaven after I am gone.

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By Credo on October 29, 2013 at 09:38 pm

Revel in your accomplishments, and then set your goals even higher the next time. With this kind of formula, sooner or later you will succeed your fantasy.


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