Thursday, February 21, 2019

The New Mommunism

by VeroniqueChevalier (writer), West Hollywood, February 26, 2009


What has suddenly 'lead' to moms being turned into marketing gold?

Is it just me, or is there anyone else who is fed up with the latest trend that is making the rounds of advertising campaigns, ranging from wrinkle creams to city council seats? Here are some sample slogans:

"Don't get surgery! Try the new anti-wrinkle treatment developed by a mom!"

So by extension does this mean that if I break my arm, I should avoid the services of some over-priced, over-trained ER doctor, and just have my mother set it? After all, she's had years of practice feeding me chicken soup and kissing my boo-boos!

"In the upcoming city council race, there's a buzz surrounding one mom..."

What, are you kidding me? Doesn't she bathe? Even non-Moms, such as me, know that personal hygiene goes a long way in preventing flies from buzzing about a person.

All joking aside, my quibble is not with the exalted position of Motherhood itself, for if no one opted for the job, few of us would be here today. And I for one, would be most bereft without the comforting presence of the dear lady who ushered me into this life.

I do however take exception with the implication that a person possessed of an ovum that was the passive recipient of one of a random swarm of blind micro-swimmers is somehow magically endowed with superpowers that elude the rest of us.

Unless, of course this New Mommunism refers only to the hardy souls who overcome the odds and are possessed of the vast resources required to conceive artificially. I will concede that it does require much more effort to give birth via artificial, rather than conventional means.

But then again, what is so noble about someone who pours excessive funds into the already over-bloated medical-industrial complex, at the expense, and exclusion, of countless orphaned children already on the planet who daily go without food, shelter and most of all, the love of a family?

Perhaps the Mommunist Party is gaining momentum with the misguided notion that the maternal instinct, in addition to the care of one's own infants, can be channeled to benefit the rest of humanity. Please pardon me for pointing out that this so-called instinct isn't necessarily benign. Case in point, Susan Smith, who drowned her two tykes by locking them into her car and letting it roll into a lake. (On second thought, perhaps her special brand of maternal instinct would be useful in Iraq- Somebody call the State Department!)

Then there are those who seem to be enamored of the idea that women who have given birth are more 'connected' to the Earth, and are possessed of greater innate wisdom and respect for all other life forms. This flies in the face of a recent experience I had in Montecito, California (Home to Oprah Winfry, among others, and per capita one of the wealthiest communities on the planet).

I was approaching the entrance to a local park, when a Soccer Mommunist at the wheel of the largest Range Rover ever built, rudely pulled out of the drive and cut me off, in her haste, no doubt to get her darling tots off to their next structured activity. As I watched the orca-sized rear-end of her designer SUV speed from sight, I espied this slogan on the back bumper, "Need Less."

While, on the one hand, I can applaud any earnest attempts to live a greener life, here was one Mommunist who not only didn't walk the walk, or talk the talk, but expected everyone else do her bidding without her participation. Sorry Lady, but I think they need to revoke your Party Membership. So much for the Earth Mother...

As far as I can tell, Mommunism is doomed to failure, because the problem is that moms are only human, (just like the rest of us) and we all know what happens when humans are involved in anything.

Just as all the other short-lived trends that preceded it, from pet rocks to the Macarena, Mommunism will soon be passe.  I am looking forward to whatever is set to take its place. Dadaism perhaps?

About the Writer

VeroniqueChevalier is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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7 comments on The New Mommunism

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By Lady D on February 26, 2009 at 09:26 pm

It is a Neo Conservitive plot. They didn't do too good with the "Soccer Mom/Pit Bull" but they never give up pushing the same old retoric in different clothing.

I don't watch to much TV but I will keep my eyes open.

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By Jen on February 28, 2009 at 05:06 pm

Wait...the Macarena is passe?

I agree with Julian.  There is no mysticism about motherhood.  Its an important job for sure but it doesn't suddenly lift you to some enlightened plane of existence.  I do not, however, believe that this is a new trend in feminist thinking.  An actual feminist simply wants the choice to be whatever she chooses to be, to be paid a fair and equal wage for equal work and to not be judged for the choices we make for ourselves.  Motherhood is only one life path a woman could take.  This new "exulted mother" attitude some women seem to take is simply another example of women being FAR too judgemental of each other and in a lot of ways is simply an attempt to own and validate some kind of self identity that was probably lacking before they became someones mom.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

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By Edward on February 28, 2009 at 06:09 pm

Avoid any contact with the dark side of Mommunist’s hole puncher Range Rover.   Range Rovers are like some Mommunist’s twisted vision of "go safe" just to be trendy and just to look like a good mom instead of being a good mom by actually learning to drive safely. “Look at me, I’m a good mom ‘cause I have a Range Rover.”  Mommunists can’t safely drive the Range Rover, or park it and she’ll be the one to forget the Baby Wears Prada or the Doggie Vogue in it killing one or both of them on what she thought in her Mommunism Cloud wasn’t all that hot of a day.  Mommunists also probably have a shotgun under the seat.  Or at minimum a Tazer.  So much for Mommunist’s maternal instinct.  That’s why these Designer/Engineered New Moms are doing it for all the wrong reasons.  If my wife showed up in a Range Rover or an F150 she would be soundly ridiculed for her extreme carbon footprint followed by organic paint stripper to the hood, a cracking tap to the windshield, a key gouge down the door, and still failing to get the green’s displeasure with her, Mommunist Slut organically painted on the rear.

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By VeroniqueChevalier on March 03, 2009 at 03:11 pm

Garry, Thanks for the heads up. I was wondering what the Next Big Thing was. Highland shepards. Let's just make sure none of us get, ahem, 'kilt' in the process.  ;-)

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By VeroniqueChevalier on March 03, 2009 at 11:21 pm

I see a "Hater" has just left an anonymous review of my article that is markedly lower across the board than the five previous ones posted by folks who did not see the need to conceal their identities...So I guess this is yet another strategy for dishonest people and their minions to propel their articles up higher. So much easier to diss the true talents of others than to hone one's own skills. Thus is the sword of democracy double-edged.

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By VeroniqueChevalier on March 03, 2009 at 11:23 pm

Haters- plural, that is. I guess this is someone's idea of a good time. All I can say is what a pity they don't have something constructive to do with their lives. At least I can always write another worthwhile article for others to enjoy. Until of course the Haters diss that one as well.

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By VeroniqueChevalier on June 21, 2009 at 11:57 pm

Baynurse- Just wanted to find out why you chose to describe yourself as 'childless'. Personally, I use the term 'child-free'. There is a movement of sorts that embraces the process of not reproducing as a conscious act, thus the appellation 'child-free', whereas the former term implies that one is lacking something, which is certainly applicable to those who have tried to reproduce and were unable to for whatever reason.

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