Friday, February 15, 2019

American Politics 101

by AmyO (writer), Marin County, September 18, 2008

As Taught by John McCain and Sarah Palin

1.)    You cannot question our VP Candidate’s experience

But we CAN question the experience of the Democrats presidential candidate…So what if our presidential candidate is 72 years old and has had melanoma 4 times? That doesn’t give Democrat’s the right to say the VP candidate’s experience is fair game and look into what she has done in office that speaks to her ability to run the country.  Anyone that tries to say otherwise, including the media, is an elitist, a liberal, and a sexist.

2.)    We can say we will bring Bills and legislation that the Democratic presidential nominee already co-sponsored to Washington

But only because we always say that he hasn’t done anything while in the Senate and we think that Americans are too stupid to figure out that he has.

3.)    We don’t have to obey ethics laws, constitutional laws, subpoenas or lawsuits

We are ABOVE the law… Haven’t you people learned anything from the Bush/Cheney Administration?

4.)    We can flip-flop on issues such as saying that our VP candidate was against the “Bridge to Nowhere” even though she was originally for it and we can keep repeating it no matter how many times news organizations print stories saying otherwise. We can also say that we are for deregulation of major corporations that effect the strength of our economy but as soon as the stock market tanks, we will make sure that those “greedy pigs” never do it again!  

But if the Democrats change their stance on anything, we will have our minions show up at rallies and debates with flip flops on their hands.

5.)    If we cannot remember who the President of Spain is or other heads of foreign countries, so what? We don’t need them anyway!

As everyone knows, America is the ONLY country that matters and anyone that speaks out against us is just mean. And besides, you can’t actually see Spain from anywhere in America. Even though  Spain has 1,000 troops in Afghanistan because they are a NATO ally, they pulled their troops out of Iraq because they felt that war was unjust, as did the rest of the world, and we just cannot forgive that.

6.)    Anyone who questions John McCain’s war record, the Iraq war, or the real motives of the Bush Administration is un-American.

WE are the only party that cares about this country. The Democrats are just a bunch of Socialists that want to offer programs that help people, tax the wealthy that don’t need the money, and push peace over war. THE NERVE!!!!!!

7.)    Our VP candidate and John McCain do not need to answer questions from the press or voters

Well, at least not until we make sure that Palin knows word for word how to answer certain questions and makes sure to give an ambiguous response. We don't want people to see her for what she is! (And P.S., Obama uses a teleprompter so there!)

8.) If ANYBODY questions us or says anything we don't like, we will make sure to call them unfair or put them on the sh*t list.

We are the only ones that are allowed to insult people and distort the truth.

9.) If we want to whine about a bipartisan inquiry being tainted even though the swing vote was a Republican vote, and therefore refuse to cooperate, we will.

But don't try and tell us that we have something to hide!

10.) We don't care how many times you say Democrat's do love this country too, or that there may be more than one way to see things, we are not going to listen.

We are always right... and that is that.

About the Writer

AmyO is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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5 comments on American Politics 101

Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By AmyO on September 18, 2008 at 07:24 pm

Oh wow... thanks El G... writing tips from you are very much appreciated!

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Log In To Vote   Score: -6
By CCNY on September 30, 2008 at 09:36 pm

Amy, please explain:

8.) If ANYBODY questions us or says anything we don't like, we will make sure to call them unfair or put them on the sh*t list.

Oh, right.  You mean, like hiding somebody's comment on an open forum if they don't celebrate your every belief and smooch your ass with praise?  Like that?!?

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Log In To Vote   Score: 5
By AmyO on September 30, 2008 at 11:39 pm

If you didn't happen to notice, plenty of my comments have been hidden as well, including the one right above yours on this story. So don't assume that it was me hiding everyone else's. There are plenty of people guilty of that on this site. 

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Log In To Vote   Score: 4
By Edward on November 05, 2008 at 07:15 pm

A great article.  Of course, there's one in every crowd and here there's two, El G and CCNY who I  recommend to both to read Maybe Your Definition Of Constructive Differs From Mine.

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Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Joan Westin on December 12, 2008 at 05:43 pm

So true what the author wrote here.

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