Saturday, February 16, 2019

Red Bull Gives You Wings: To Meet Your Maker

by AM Nelson (writer), Los Angeles, August 15, 2008


Disappointing results that Red Bull increases cardiovascular risk, including stroke.

Red Bull increases a healthy person’s risk of stroke after just one can. This disappointing conclusion has arrived from a recent Australian study, as reported on Reuters. The blood becomes “sticky,” after imbibing just one can of the sugar-free energy drink. This blood characteristic is common in a person prior to a stroke or other cardiovascular problem. The combination of a Red Bull type drink and stress could be deadly. Researcher Scott Willoughby, remarks about the healthy study participants:

“One hour after they drank Red Bull, (their blood systems) were no longer normal. They were abnormal like we would expect in a patient with cardiovascular disease”

The Reuters article noted that:

…Willoughby said Red Bull could be deadly when combined with stress or high blood pressure, impairing proper blood vessel function and possibly lifting the risk of blood clotting.

In a previous 2004 study on the combination of Red Bull and alcohol, it was determined that Red Bull did not improve performance. This may have come as a big surprise to club-goers and repetitive drunk drivers at the time.

But that neon-yellowish glow in the darkly lit nightclubs and lounges was so reassuring that it was good for me. How could a drink that looked so toxic, actually be bad? Such presentation! I was just getting used to the taste. It seems even the stuff that tastes bad is bad for us.

I never bought into the brilliant marketing that Red Bull was a “health” or an “energy” drink, but I also didn’t realize it is illegal in several countries already. I don’t want to Fluevog to the emergency room.

Whatever Rock-&-Roll lifestyle I have left in me will be done without the bull.

About the Writer

AM Nelson is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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12 comments on Red Bull Gives You Wings: To Meet Your Maker

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on August 16, 2008 at 01:23 am

yeah, i heard that red bull drinks are harmful if you take too much of it. so if thats the case then i'm at a huge health risk cause i drink monsters like crazy! it even says on the can not to drink more than 3 a day. i drink about 2 every other day. thanks for lookin' out with this article, champ!

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By wrgould3 on August 16, 2008 at 01:59 am

Sticky Arteries?!!?!?? hmmmm don't you work for a pharm-company.  I couldn't help but see the article of mention came out of a Tiajuana marketing firm tied to local pharmacies..... The over border trade is important. You work for the Man! Wait didn't you interview Death?

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By Batman on August 16, 2008 at 02:10 am

You've been writing like a madwoman lately. I can only wait for what's next :)

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By manny osborne on August 16, 2008 at 12:25 pm

Red bull and snickers (bar chocolate)keep me going .

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By AM Nelson on August 16, 2008 at 09:59 pm

I know!  But sooooo not princess-style with any snorty powder.  So dirty, and trashy.  LA needs a new legal that won't make you fat...doesn't stain your teeth...

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By Glenn T on August 16, 2008 at 10:10 pm

In 2006 we got "Combining alcohol and Red Bull® reduces the 'perception' of impairment" with the disappointng subtitle "Alcohol's harmful effects on motor coordination, however, remain intact" (

I'm not certain that there's any reason to find this study any more compelling than any other... seems more like corporate espionage than anything else.  A study sponsored, perhaps, by Hansen Soda Company (makers of Monster®)?  The following items, discovered by pushing the phrase "linked to increased heart disease", have also been found by similar studies to increase your chances of dying by way of your heart giving out:

Low vitamin B levels
Low vitamin D levels
a larger waistline
even a "small pot belly"
chronic work stress
sleep apnea
secondhand smoke
diet soft drinks
regular soft drinks
high blood sugar levels
HIV medications
certain birth control pills
migrain headaches
heavy drinking of alcohol
restless legs syndrome

and no joke, increased Chinese economic prosperity:

Now may be a good time to look up "fearmongering", "Mean World Syndrome" & "culture of fear" with your nearest web browser... and realize that JFK just might have had it right about the only thing we should really be afraid of.

Now, someone pass me my Lo-Carb Monster...

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By AM Nelson on August 16, 2008 at 10:30 pm

Thank you for reading. 

In 2004 many articles were written (simple googel search) about Red Bull and alcohol.  I believed it was considered common knowledge, & not necessary to even quote a source. 

Anyhoo, the reason this is in Opinion, is I find the study compelling.  Your choice is your own.   

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By slowasigo on August 16, 2008 at 10:37 pm

....and sex too. I am totally afraid of spiders.

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By AM Nelson on August 16, 2008 at 10:40 pm

...Sex can also be a cardio risk...Your choice is your own.   Not sure about the spiders, talk to JFK. 

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By AM Nelson on August 16, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Rating fellow author, delighted to explain the political satire!  Dear unknown author, please send me an email.  Thank you for your support. 

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By Glenn T on August 16, 2008 at 11:12 pm

Moral relativism notwithstanding, it seems like there are a lot of other things in the "Rock & Roll" lifestyle that can be linked (via scientific study) to an increased chance of dying:

Alcohol consumption
Second hand smoke
Birth control pills

...just to name a few.  Additionally, when soft drinks have been found to produce similar "risks" ( it's hard to understand why such a study would inspire any sort of lifestyle change more than the aforementioned ones.  Seems that with depression linked to just about every deadly ailment there is - we ought to focus on being out, making connections and having fun more than we should about whether our Diet Coke or Red Bull is killing us. 

What's more, the fact that the suspect governments of Norway. Uruguay and Denmark have banned Red Bull ought to give us no more than an additional laugh.

Norway has also previously banned dental amalgam, skateboarding and the release of the movie "The Life of Brian";

Uruguay has previously banned the revolutionary works of Cristina Peri Rossi, crucifixes in state hospitals and the import of pet or ornamental birds; and

Denmark has previously banned knives, except for carrying out a trade, hunting, fishing or other recreational activities; Sunday driving and trans-fats.

Should we really look to these nations for guidance as to what we should be consuming or not? 

The point, which I failed to make originally, is that promoting pseudo-science as a reasonable criteria for decision-making is feeding the culture of fear.  What would be much more interesting, and frankly, entertaining, is the anecdoctal evidence that is advising your decision to not consume Red Bull - because from the look and sound of things - there could be a pretty good story there.   

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By Steven Lane on August 18, 2008 at 12:34 am

And it tastes like crap.

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