Saturday, February 23, 2019

The cheapest holiday for students. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, May 24, 2015

Spend your dime at tho sule media sand pit. This is a must for all retired students wishing to re tire assuming they are jeepskates.


Hi kids. My name is Rule Bricktania. My distant cousin Thickasabrickalsotellinya Smith, in collusion with me, run a little country just north of Sara called Tho Sule Media Inc. We two started actually with a light bulb idea after starting to run out of ink.

OHH! Thorry! This place is actually north of da Sahara. See why i got this mixed up is because Sara my bestest text friend stuck her abnormally large finger lickin' good thumb on her mobile in a flurry of fly blown sweat and stuffed Sara in instead of the Sahara. Sara is actually a bit stuffed too because she stuck her jeep into a hole engineered in the road to slow people down and make them aware that holes have rights too. Too right holes have rights we threw a few left ones in right about where the entrance to 'smooth journey' highway is...sometimes, when the monsoon region we live and love in dies down a little.

Indeed, Sara (not to be confused with the 'ha' added Sahara fly blown) and i were at a 'love in' in downtown 'Godbye' just north of Dubyougodbyetoo off the beaten holey track,when a sudden monsoon threw us uni students relaxing after a pretty darn hectic Tho sule media day,all up in the air, and most of us survived bar a bar of chocolate Sara was sucking on.

Lucky those strategic holes were pre strategised at random (the monsoon made my spiel i'm typing blow straight, which is something Sara insists on but that's another story) because we all ended up in various assorted holes out of the wind and the ensuing sand storm which quite literally blasted over the top of our road holes thus the resident Holy students stopped yelling "we are stuffed, Holy sh...t! God! Bye! Are you tho sule media students with me? Of course our undergraduate course post removing monsoon abated. My typing is still straight and heavy because Sara likes it that way. Now, this is your ticket to a holy day you weary students will long as you slow down because some of the student couples here we are still digging out and we don't need renta jeeps full of newbies landing on top of those being de holy de sanded because that would be ridiculous.

Now, here is what we offer in particular for essay students wishing/needing to relax, after a goodly hard holy day. Let's say for example you have just flown in after ransacking your parents purses and can opening your younger brother's and sister's money cans after you failed to find the key which was in the slot only requiring it to be turned. Oh "duh" here but we all make mistakes and rush in. You will be met at the airport by Mr, Folkre Friendship your Japanese guide who speaks 'monsoon' fluently. In fact Folke was actually flown in by monsoon. He was sick of getting ticked off by the neighbors at the uranium fun park where he lived anyway. One minute the water was drinkable, the next, it was served by a barman wearing a skull and crossbones on his tee hee shirt made-in-Australia inscribed thus. "Drink tea only...boil ticks first. drink thru a certified tea bag mask...if you mask sneeze, sneeze in between ticks.Don't sneeze mask off. Or the neighbors will get ticked off...again."

A lot of info i know to take on board but Mr. Folkre you were blown in free of charge so stop complaining about monsoon airlines. Mr. Folkre will ask to see your parents' money. There is a wishing well for throwing down your little brother's and sister's money box gouged money. At first there was confusion over our metre deep well. Some students were throwing their B's and S's down there. So remember to leave them out of your vinyl carry bag.

You will be welcomed by our tallest guitar player. He was blown up to the top of the world's tallest engineered sand castle building cantilevered to resist American uni students fake dollars. The worlds best engineers couldn't work out how to give him a lift down as the lift doesn't go that high due to a cheap lift that shits itself after floor 69. Bummer. He isn't much of a guitarist anyway so we gave him the added job of scraping sand pigeon shit off the ledges and he seems happy singing pigeon crap songs to the flybys.

You will be shown to your replica gold- lined room where you will be welcomed by chocolate munching Sara with no sucking teeth. She will pour you a sand bath or, you can wait for a monsoon. After feeling refreshed you will be shown remnants of the dining room undergoing an upgrade. You will be handed a plate. And a sandwich. Sara will ask you if you want something on it. I know it sucks but don't call Sara "it" she has been known to kick essay students in the crutch for less. More kicks for free.

After eating and brushing the sand out of your cavities you will be led out onto the patio to sun bake and watch Mr. Folkre rolling rocks into the sea which now laps at the bottom of thousands of laptop essay walls built to hold back bullshit comments at high tide, or for that matter any tide. Sara will entertain you by blowing her instrumental gum leaf and humming. If you don't like her rendition of "come on down hum dinger to my house tum on tum on hands and knees tum on tum on"she spits past-its-used- by- date chocolate at you. Or, if you prefer...sand custard.

Night time brings with it, darkness. You will have the choice of a torch or matches. You may wish to hire a jeep. You may prefer a lower jeep. Hole jumping road kill is a popular sport here. We are adamant you must supply your own essays, sunscreen, and if you have a very large replica vinyl bag...your own sun plus road kill.

We have many many other attractions. Sky optional. You may want to make vibrant love to your tho sule partner on the sandpaper replica beach but our customs demand you put a bag over any nearby humping camel's head. See what you started? Monkey sea...camel do. Please make a booking on www. tho sule media silly comments. cum. Your choice. We are as near to you as you are near to us. Same distance actually. Unless you move even closer. Have a great sandy one. True grit. :>)

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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