Sunday, February 17, 2019


by riginal (writer), moe australia, April 29, 2015

Time to nail a Brad? Stapled/chained to a tree a better solution girls? is a salve that soothes.


Over the course of 'inventive' history many inventors have enlivened our lives to rid us of the need to immerse in the mundane thus enabling the general populace to ascribe their valuable E time and efforts to such things as Social 'soccer' Media. Enabling mankind to kick on ,headbutt salient points, and gesture communicate with fellow man as if the world will stop turning if your latest partner is cut off via the mobile range. Though i'm sure way down the yellow brick road of love occasionally some wish they'd never met, and that person they thought they loved was a fink after the fact. But that's negative 'finking' at its worst. I could write an essay on love's traps (from what i've heard on love's grapevine) but i would have to charge at least fifty cents. A penny for your thoughts? Best to be an optimist because i know for sure compatible lovers rarely split and if and when they do there's another 'fink' fish in the sea and another latte waiting to scold new lips. After all, any reasonable tattooist can obscure/erase that 'i love you Brad forever' tat near the V line or quite simply deviate the crutch of the matter and ink it into a giraffe, as the spurned grits teeth, spits blood into her latte, grimace shouts...'i hate you Brad you are a fink'- new inscription? But you all know the unfathomable intrinsic female spurned figure eight reversible back flip of Brad inspired guile? Brad enters the tattoo salon chin down turned,serious, declares his love for his "one and only babe" requiring the tattooist to redo the aforesaid to read. 'I love you Brad you are a fink n' if i catch you with that bitch again i'll get this new spiel currently being inscribed in invisible ink, scrubbed off, and i swear i will throw a hot latte over your handsome face, and pull your plug...out of your inflatable surf board.' All this new pain ink writ circumnavigates round my shapely buns so don't you dare try it on again Brad. I know where your hobby lives! Sorry, i'm drifting, i'm watching that inspiring tattoo show whereupon a small tattoo barely visible is turned into a Dragon or a rose which engulfs a quarter of the recipient's skin, and then some? :>) Go figure? Anyway tats beside the point of no return ink. There is much evidence that socializing helps people to socialize and come together in a rhapsody Beet chosen. Not only that, it is a form of communication anyone can aspire to on their mobiles whilst steering off the road in deep angry listening mode to Angie the 'bitch' swearing she's 'off' Brad and their torrid is over red rover. Though Rover looks perplexed. Surprize; panting along jogging, mobile plugged in ear listening to Brad and that bitch at it again? after you installed the minute recorder in the ciggie lighter of the car you bought Brad which will burst into flame spontaneously at your next meet. Unfortunately you are so intent in disseminating the moans and groans 'incoming' you stumble over a cliff whilst intent on trying to resist the urge to scream out "BRAD! can't handle the truth!" Paying no heed to other frantic joggers who yelled out. "Look out! there's a cliff! Oh never mind...try to grab something on the way down to break your fall. Perhaps you'll be able to grasp a clump of rattlesnakes nesting in an outcrop that jogged over the same cliff even after their parents told them NOT to go snake jogging with their i pod rattles because loss of concentration smacks of inattention culminating in the necessity for a fang realignment. You miss the snakes, your fall is broken by a tree which also jogged over the cliff feeling rooted, you drop only twenty feet with a bough in your hair. Landing in the back seat on top of Angie and Brad who were parked in the convertible you bought faithful reformed Brad, parked off the secluded road known locally as the 'beaten wack.'

Simultaneously you realize a rattler has lodged under your sweating leaf impregnated armpit and with a quick deliberate twist it 'accidently' lands on Angie's bare bottom. Of course, Brad, of the infused serpent, says "i love you babe! Angie forced me here against my protestation which i mistakenly believed was a top down open air Protestant meeting on the sins of being unfaithful!"

You accept Brad's excuse. Telling Brad to drive slowly to the nearest anti-venom hospital to up Angie's ante and other parts, because it's no good rocking up with Angie yelling her poisoned bum off which in turn could upset other quiet snake bite victims. See how a bit of tree 'give' and snake can work in your favor? If you're currently going out with a guy named Brad and with Brad's disposition after you gave him a new convertible Viper i'd be making other arrangements in the future but then again love works in mysterious ways. Angie recovered, though one buttock resembles a cutting rear mark. You decide to Marry Brad. Brad turns over a new leaf. That tree that saved your life is now mounted in your bedroom. It's a great staple post to chain Brad to. Not that Brad's foliage would ever wander again. I like happy endings, don't you? Don't like the overkill on the tats. I do like butterflies on the wing though. They're delicate and pretty in the right place. Have a great day, remember, there's plenty of finks in the sea. And invisible tats come out in the wash. Cheers. :>)

Nearly amazing 'Duh'...but you will won't you- just because...

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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7 comments on VIPER.........................RIGINAL.

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By Barbara MacDonald on April 29, 2015 at 10:48 am

I married a Brad, and although he had some things which drove me crazy, he was never a liar or a cheater....have to give him credit for that. Now after my marriage, yes, I have met some total sweet talkers who could charm you so you then became blind....I am just thankful at this point, after many years, I think I can see through that bullshit. LOL...only took me how many years? dah...

Now I am checking out online dating sites...what to say about this, not sure yet. I did have some handsome man send me a picture of himself that could rival Christian Gray in 50 Shades of Oh and he was 14 years younger than insanity out there.

But also some very nice people too. I refuse to let it poson me on everyone...but I will be very careful too, I know myself well.

If you meet any vipers on here my friend, please direct to the door...

Have a great weekend...hugs :)

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By Barbara MacDonald on April 29, 2015 at 10:49 am

*poison typo...:)

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By riginal on April 29, 2015 at 07:32 pm

Barb i just picked 'Brad' out of the blue...we all have our foibles, downsides, and any guy worth his salt if he wants to get on to any hottie (at least in his eyes) only has to listen to a woman without climbing over the edge of his beer glass and blowing bubbles out his nose because i have it on good authority that's a turnoff for women. Marilyn Monroe,surely one of the most beautiful gals ever to grace this planet in a fan blown dress and the propensity to have any guy she desired...settled on a plain Joe highly intelligent who i believe listened to her and became her refuge from what turned out to be, her past of angst which folowed her as it does with a lot of us, like a mournfull dog never to stop its whinging and unable to be placated. I think they call it 'baggage.' I'm starting to understand why some women burned by unpleasantness turn to 'cougarism.' But that's only a diversionary substitute because in every woman's makeup don't they just want to be held tight by a 'one and only'? Gravity of a situation can be dispelled with a tickle or three, but as gravity implies...the downward pull of God's magnetic levels in the playing field over time, and the female version of Dr. Jeckle 'skintight' can no longer hide any slack Hyde thus the kernel or core of a persons reason for being becomes the final resting place of the heart. A good heart and a guy who will protect you until the sunlight bathes your sighing satisfaction come morn. Fifty shades of consternation if your partner isn't there to promote this? My advice to any woman is to hook up with a handsome guy with money. He'll inevitably cheat and that's when the Cougar strikes! I've seen it happen and so many people of late for various reasons pulling the pin. Maybe they were pulling the wrong pin and the latch came unstuck? But that's another tail i'll gloss over...have a great weekend butterfly...i better fly. There's a pumpkin tossing gala weekend coming up followed by a goat milking contest...i like to keep my hand in in this 'quaint' town where 'duh' is the predominate and an 'ice' maiden has a very different meaning. Take care girl, i have seeds to take care of. My M is over despite her vow of her love for me. I've pulled the plug.The D is getting progressively worse and dragging her down with her. Have a great weekend and beware of strangers bearing pumpkins. May i add "duh!" Seems to be the word of the essay month. /:>)

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By Barbara MacDonald on May 01, 2015 at 02:02 pm

Yes Riginal, I knew you just pulled that name out of the hat...or maybe it reminded you of a Brad you knew? I just knew it was not at all like my Brad, had to give him his due. Pumpkin Tossing?..when do you celebrate Halloween it October, and I do not know this...:) I think at this point in my life, and knowing myself so well, the most important part of an attraction to someone is more of a mental and value kind of thing....makes it a bit of a challenge for sure. Enjoy your weekend...hugs

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By riginal on May 01, 2015 at 10:31 pm

Barb my computer is shagged no pun intended...i wrote a long drawn out few pieces and lost them. The connectivity here is stuffed. My main thrust was, hugs...back and front within a bang on the head with a saucepan. Hard to make a point from a distance but doesn't the whole point of a woman's makeup become,"i have strict protocol of what i want and need in a man and stop smearing my lipstick!" Don't get me wrong i'm not trying to 'smear' talk you, that would be too obvious to a smart cute woman like you. :>)

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By riginal on May 01, 2015 at 10:32 pm

oops...didn't me that to post...or did i...bye Twinkletoes. :>)

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By roblox on October 02, 2015 at 03:46 pm

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