Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Can You Learn to be Attracted To Someone?

No spark at first? Give it time.

Is physical and emotional attraction best when it's instantaneous, or developed over time?

We all have our “type”. Most of us can walk into a room filled with nice, well-dressed, educated, professional, open-minded people and almost immediately, after scanning the perimeter, see the ones we’re closely drawn to.

Perhaps it’s the chatty blonde in the corner holding a martini, the olive-skinned brunette with great curves, the short Jewish princess dominating the room with her witty intellect and pearly grin, or the one who, according to your libido meter, is average-looking but subtly throws you a stare and smiles.

Maybe you dismiss her because she doesn’t give you that instant spark you crave, but if you’d only dig a bit deeper, you just might find the woman of your dreams.

That said, it’s doubtful that you’ll ever be attracted to someone you don’t find physically appealing at all, but if there’s a spark, just a glimmer, and she holds other qualities you love, your attraction can develop over time.

Being attracted to someone is a fickle beast

Most of us either feel that adrenaline rush instantly or we don’t. If not, we usually seek it elsewhere without giving a real prize a second look, throwing away our chance at love just because we carelessly don’t give it more effort.

What am I talking about? Let’s dive a bit deeper.

There are just certain people we’ll never be attracted to no matter how hard we try.

Perhaps it’s something about their physical or facial structure, body language, facial expressions, the curve of their lips, the pitch of their voice or the loudness and arrogance of their personality.

Whenever we encounter someone for the first time, our psyche and heart begin a very complex scan. Usually within a split second, we know if an attraction is there.

We can’t turn off this intricate machine. It’s just something God-given inside us all.

But what about those meeting our emotional needs more than our physical ones?

Can we actually learn to be attracted to them?

To read the rest of this article, and others, go to Dating It's an all-inclusive dating resource site whose experts dispense wisdom on 'all things dating' through how-to-articles, informational studies, reviews of dating sites, reader questions and more!

About the Writer

Randy Mitchell is a blogger on lifestyle, writing and relationship topics and is a published author of inspirational romance. His first novel "Sons In The Clouds" is available in paperback on Amazon. To read more about Randy, visit
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