Friday, February 15, 2019

Letting Go of the Wrong People

Credit: checkmate
Letting go is hard to do.

Why it's oftentimes very hard terminating relationships with those you care for.

Have you ever loved, cared for, supported or wished for a relationship with someone and it just wasn’t meant to be no matter how hard you tried? Made you someone you weren’t? Caused you to lose part of your soul in the process, leaving you empty-handed after weeks, months or even years of trying?

Well, you’re not alone.

But why do so many keep hanging on when clearly the object of their affection just doesn’t feel the same way no matter what?

Raising my hand, like most others, I’ll admit being guilty of this. I’ve had failed relationships that I gave way too much effort toward while the bull horns blared and red lights flashed inside my brain.

I sometimes thought a little more effort, more displays of my caring nature, better romance or a spiffier wardrobe might do the trick. Maybe being more accepting of her religion, family and political values or even agreeing to attend a few more chick flicks, showing my feminine side, would flip her “love” switch on.

When I was younger, I thought women just wanted a faithful guy, one who made sure their needs were met and that would be enough. But guys, the world of love just doesn’t work this way, and if the mutual chemistry isn’t there, it just isn’t there.

I’ve learned from my mistakes, believe me, taking several trial-and-errors and being hit over the head enough times to get it right.

But why do so many keep going after the ones they know, deep inside, aren’t a healthy match? What makes people keep returning to the same painful relationships whose histories are riddled with disaster instead of moving on to healthier living?

It’s human nature to fight for what we want and to never quit, especially in the love department. Like the saying goes: “The heart wants what the heart wants.”

That stated, here are a few points that are major in understanding why letting go is so difficult for so many:

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About the Writer

Randy Mitchell is a blogger on lifestyle, writing and relationship topics and is a published author of inspirational romance. His first novel "Sons In The Clouds" is available in paperback on Amazon. To read more about Randy, visit
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2 comments on Letting Go of the Wrong People

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By riginal on March 20, 2015 at 12:39 pm

Randy nice post without the ubiquitous vinyl flowers of flog.

Talking to a guy sitting on a bench bitching about his wife of apparently many soul destroying argumentive years. I interupted him."Why don't you two get a divorce?" "Naah mate...she's company." Loneliness and fear of being left on the shelf plus the monetary dissolution, just some of the many pitfalls/hurdles i guess. Plus interfering spoilt kids with the knowledge and nouse how to split a partnership. Hope i haven't put you or anyone else off. :>) Ridiculous how quick and easy it is to divorce. For barter or curse? Cheers. :>)

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By Randy Mitchell on March 20, 2015 at 04:44 pm

Hi Riginal, thanks for the comments. Yes, fear of lonliness, loss of money, and the pitfals of dissolving a union with children are all big reasons many stay together despite being miserable. Personally, I couldn't do it because we only get one life and we owe it to ourselves to make it a good one. But then again, others factors always come into play depending on the individual situation.

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