Friday, February 22, 2019

Just a dissertation flight. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, March 12, 2015

Dissertations delivered free by paper brick dropping drones.


Look! Before i start this mostly true story could i infringe on your privacy by asking you people in all squawks of life of your readiness to buy one of those 'you beaut' Dick Tracy inspired latest apple timepieces that apparently does just about anything but procure a date with a beautiful woman!

Therine though the ownership of such a small marvel prompts a retort. Why would any self respecting male want a date with beauty when his newly purchased 'beautiful mind' watch not only displays the date, as well as testing heart rate, games, waxing lyrical on your watch speak phone, movies, etc, all for the start up price of $450 escalating to umpteen thousands for a gold plated,(not replica!) top of the watch band wrist admiration! A watch to end all watches. BUT!

It apparently is stymied by the dreaded battery lengthatude. Or is that longitude short of battery breath most electronics seem to suffer from? User assault of battery?

Only some small flaws. Like you'll probably have people with eyesight problems driving down the road not only talking to their watches but when the caller becomes boring, switching over to a movie and gouging an eye out in an attempt to get the full picture into focus just before the missus says,"watch out! there's a cop watching you." On cue perhaps the latest cop improvement to come is the pursuing senior sergeant Dick Tracy's ability to speak through your watch in person so that you don't get that annoying embarrassing amplified ranting "pull over driver!"

Just a discreet, "I've been watching you driver, pull your watch out of your eye and pull over!" You may be lucky and get a female Dick T. She asks what you were watching on watch tele. The guy says,"Cops!" An amicable conversation starts whereupon the watched driver gets on the lady cop's good side by remarking how there should be more lovely females administering the law against people with a watch stuck in one eye. After she writes the ticket for not watching where you were going.

I ask again. how many of you are going to buy this little personal 'must have' item? I've just had a light bulb watch moment! The people flogging replica watches could manufacture a look- alike replica of the $450 watch. Thus, you discreetly wack the cheap as, nasty little watch on your wrist. Shove the expensive watch down your bra in case you get robbed. I think this idea would work for women also.

By the time,(no pun intended) the robber wakes up that he's been duped you have had time to adjust your bra, take out the real timepiece, ring the paramedics to reinstall your dentures the robber knocked out. Bob's your aunty. You order a coffee in the hospital from your bed where they're keeping your watch under supervision until the swelling on your assaulted scone goes down. You glance over and notice a familiar policewoman guarding a robber in the opposite bed who has just been arrested for trying to pawn your cheap replica watch.

You strike up a conversation.You become tentative friends, the robber and the bored female cop that booked you for one-eyed driving ask if they can watch Dr.Phil on your real DT movie channel. Everyone has a great time, you nod off. When you wake up you check your pulse rate on your watch. It says 300 rpm over 150rpm. You realize during the forty winks commercial the robber has somehow switched watches. A lot of this new technology, i believe, should be put to bed. Of course if i were to receive a gold apple version i'd trade it in on a car. But that's just me.

Nearly forgot the main story. In keeping with the Apple core watch. A brilliant friend of mine purchased a drone to turn into a flying essay dropper offer. Works like this. Students ring up say for the 'history of man through the pages.' My friend writes up the paper. Tapes it to a house brick. Fastens the house brick to the 'delivery drone' - delivers. He had problems with the first delivery. He distinctly told the recipient student to be alert when the drone dropped its paper brick off. And to wear a helmet. My mate told the student through his new app watch to watch out for the brick. The student was standing in his backyard not realizing his watch battery had gone flat. Silly Dick had no helmet on. The good news is the brick knocked some commonsense into the student. He became a bricklayer. The moral is, sometimes an essay through the pages of man just seems to drone on...not worth the brick it's stuck to. So instead of charging round plastered all over with the latest technological marvels, marvel at early man's achievements. For instance did the watchmaker who made Big Ben put a battery in it and strut around with it on his wrist? No siree...he put it on a proper watch chain and used it as a pocket fob watch.

Did Neanderthal man flog watches bags and dissertations? Certainly seems that way lately. Have a great weekend. Free of academic nuts trying to crack yours. :>)

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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