Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Don't play bridge with a shrink.RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, October 20, 2014

All that glitters is not class. Look before you jump.


"Take the long way round honey...the overpass route, change of scenery." The "honey," though he was an analyst of human emotions of the mind, heart, and a leader in his field...went directly to the region below the belt where "honey" stirs a man's basic, and as always Dr. Feel didn't question the overpowering raw lust he felt for his new wife. She, a graduate of shrinkdom and partner in their plush downtown office with the clever title 'U Babylon'; ran a perfectly manicured static energized knife blade fingertip down the inside of his leg...basically. The 60 year- old didn't hesitate. Turned off as cajoled...parked. He was short,dapper, brown paper wrapped bland,seriously wealthy, didn't have a way with beautiful women ordinarily. This beautiful she "honey" though, slipped through the sombre sifting, guarded, meticulous thought net of ordinary BEWARE. He didn't question his normal reasoning, didn't care. Lust does that. He divorced his unimaginative, migraine inoculated, sexless ex. She hadn't wanted children by him, they smell...they're noisy. Had one. Dr. Feel, yawned during during conception, the stumbling sperm woken from its deep slumber, ambled, yawned, sleepily encouraged his disinterested cohorts...presented/projected by default...took up the sperm relay baton reluctantly,passed the baton to the bed...spread and bored . End result, a female 10- year- old, yawning, asked her mum one day, out of curious disinterest, "mum what's sex and love?" "Shhh...your father is asleep he's had a hard one. A complex diagnosis has worn him out. Sex is something, something...and love is well...well love, ask your father he's the shrinker. One's physical, one's so emotional, sometimes the combination can give one a headache. She yawned, her daughter yawned." "Ask your dad, i have a migraine." "What from mum? Dad?" "No, child, he's a pain in his meticulous butt, but he provides. One day when you're sick of having friends and you're all grown up you'll meet a real charming nice man who'll basically sweep you off your feet, you'll feel alive,desired..." The child leaned forward expectantly,"...and?" Her mum yawned..."you'll get married instead." Dr. Feel grunted. Grimaced in his sleep.

The parked Bee tasted the honey, she giggled. She was all he wanted and yearned for, she liked expensive, her body deserved it. She holstered her expensive breasts. "Listen Doctor Freud whiparound, " she bit into his neck. Hard. He reached down felt her, she let him linger a few seconds. Closed her legs, trapping his hand. Then gently arched, gripped, released her warmth. He reluctantly took his moist hand away. "Hey doc, don't lose control here. Are we worse than our worst oversexed balling patients?" He zipped himself, grinned, "much worse my love...much worse...but we can afford the luxury can we not? Did Freud not say, "a whip a day keeps the doc on sway?" "Dr. Feel, he didn't say that?" He nuzzled her scent, licked her perspiring neck, gripped the flimsy gold charm in her ear with his teeth, she let out a whimper of exaggerated pain, as it unclasped and came away. He started to probe her ear, bit, then gripped her earlobe, held on. She glanced at her watch. "We must go lover." He sighed, ran a finger across her mouth, she opened, let it enter, her tongue trapped it . "We must go doc...please." She glanced at her watch again. "Time we left." He reached carelessly for the handbrake, brushed his hand along her leg, felt the bare skin where her stocking had torn.

Entered into the traffic, slammed the accelerator, she looked at her watch. The vibration of the aftermarket exhaust made her squirm, she shifted to feel the full benefit, placed her arm around the back of his neck,squeezed her legs tight,released, grinned at his expression. "Do you love me?" "I do so too Dr. Feelgood need treatment,badly. I love you, you don't have ask, Shrinks don't have to ask,they know they're on top of their patience,depression, on occasion unfortunately on top of the odd patient. Or perhaps the oddness caused the same. We're trained to reinvent, pill up, pull up errant behavior that could destruct." He nodded,winked, smirked. She ran her tongue over perfect teeth, poked it out, withdrew it slowly, deliberately. "We are the chosen Gods of mental Nirvana, we cure, we rebuild the painful..." Feel interjected with a sudden exclamation..."or palm full?" Grinning, she nodded her head, it was hot, she pulled his shirt out, undid the buckle on his pants. Did it up again. Waved her finger at him. Reached into the cooler on the back seat of the car, glanced purposefully at a passing sign. "Drink this Freud."

He took the drink, "thanks hon, it's hot,you're hot..." he drained the bottle, gasped. She pointed ahead at the peak of the overpass. "What the hell! You'd better pull over love, looks like a jumper. We'd better help." The two police officers stood back, four onlookers. The young strongly built tall fair haired guy was raving. "I want her so bad, i want that woman, i want her so bad." He was astride the railing. "Dr.Feel officer, behavioral psychologist,graduated online, i'll take over..." "Be careful love, he's on the brink," she walked slowly behind as her husband edged forward. "What's your name son?" Dr. Feel leaned over the railing, felt slightly dizzy, didn't like heights. "Talk to me's hot up here, would you like a drink?" The young man nodded. Mrs Feel already two bottles in her hand as if she had some sort of premonition. She rolled one to the distraught man, handed one to her husband. "You better drink it love...reinforce the sympathy with his plight." Dr. Feel nodded, unscrewed the cap slowly, the young man copied. Started to sip. The doctor drank slowly. "What's your name?" "Kelvin. I don't want to live, she's gone, she left..." he broke off, slowly dismounted the railing,then quickly remounted. "I know how you shitbags phony bastards, you think you're invincible, on top, well, i'm on top." The doctor edged forward, his wife started talking,"i bet a good looking young man like you has a pretty partner?" "He shrugged, wiped his chin, threw the bottle over the edge, watched as it smashed on the freeway below, a brief glass spray starburst. A screech,horn blast. He started sobbing, glanced at the shapely woman. "Looked a bit like you, we argued, she left,not coming back." "Listen son, we'll fix this, what's her number? Here..." Feel extended the phone.

Kelvin dialed, it rang. "Hello." A young desperate pleading voice, Kelvin where... "It's me Kelvin," he started crying, took a step towards the doctor. Dr. Feel felt a sudden numbness, he lunged forward, dazed, grabbed the young man's arm tripped, struggled, Mrs Feel ran forward tried to grab her husband, the three entwined in a desperate struggle. With surprising strength the young man partially pulled away, the doctor staggered,held on. His wife twisted the pair sideways, she tried to push them apart. She screamed as her husband gave her a horrified look "!" He toppled over the railing, the onlookers screamed, stunned, Mrs Feel collapsed. The thump, the screeching tyres,another thump, bodily contact.. The aghast policemen handcuffing the slumped man. The curses, bewilderment ,crying, the siren in the distant. It had been delayed on a false call, didn't really matter.

A dreadful unpremeditated tragedy?

Not really, in essence well planned. Measured essence quite untraceable. One tainted bottle from the passion park, another diz fizz top up on the sympathy with Kelvin distraught.

Three months later Ms Feel lay on a deserted beach. Kelvin released, massaged the temptresse's naked body with oil, took her as he had many times before. Had her gasping, murmuring. Crime of passion? The girl who left Kelvin,answered the mobile on the bridge? Was it the yawning ex's daughter seeking revenge? Not really, she was paid to do a job, answer the phone. She had no idea what was going on. No idea at all...or did she? She too had found the true love. It's what it's about, ask her dad...maybe not?

The moral? Damned if I know? Better the yawning devil you know? Don't hook up with a beautiful shrink or drink with one? Ummm...avoid trouble by obtaining a pre-nup signed statement stating that if you as a doc don't Feel good after your new missus ravishes you, hands you a bottle, crosses her fingers,her legs, then hopes you die, if you do she doesn't...get a cracker? I don't know, is it better to have loved and lust than never have lasted at all. As Freud once said. "When you enter the minefield of the mind mind where you step, your rationale good blow up in her face...hopefully." He didn't say that at all, but he might have. Bit like the blow up doll that got drunk on oxygen, overinflated her boobs, fell on a barbeque..."ashes to ashes bust to bust?" Have a great romantic weekend or maybe just sit at home eating pre-nup biscuits. Watch they don't get caught in your throat...chew very slowly. :>)

You're a long time broke? And watch what you drink.


About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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