Saturday, February 23, 2019

Some people have lazy eyes.RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, September 29, 2014

An unemployed eye can cause many problems. With the right attitude and a twist of imagination you can end up making a spectacle to bring it round to help out the working eye.


Mate of mine, (notice i didn't say, a FRIEND told me this!) had a lazy eye.

Never did a day's look in its life. When the word "look at that cute woman" came up the eye would just look lazily the other way.

This in itself was an eyeful as the other eye had to do all the whistling and shout out "aye aye she be a bit of a bonnie lass!"

My mate is Scottish. You probably think i'm making this up as i go. Cute women turn eyes. Except lazy ones. Listen,here's a tip. The next time a cutie walks past you in the street stare straight ahead. She'll invariably do so then turn to see if you turned but you didn't and that disquiets her. You can use this ploy at any time during your wife...sorry,life. Obviously if you're already married you already have a cutie and of course as a matter of course you only have eyes for her now don't you?

Have you ever,and this i ask in all honesty, caught your missus out looking at a rather much better looking younger muscular guy than yourself..with a personality? And they're not all gay you know, indeed, some of your wive's are lesbians. Sorry,i meant THE wifes. Not yours,indeed not, why on earth, or any other planet, would they be indeed, when they own hunk you!

Don't get me wrong, lesbians have rights, are just as appreciated as any other standing member of society. Applies to a sitting or standing member. Member that. Back to my question before LES, not Miserable (and indeed why should they be?) entered the room. Do you women of either typist feel your keys being rattled a tad just as your husband averts his lazy eye covertly? Women don't do that in America so i profusely apologize. You know, one of my sisters, a devout Christian, came out of a veg market and said quietly,"gosh,there's a young handsome guy in there." I was completely taken aghast because i hold the reins of 'ratbag' in my 'ratbag' family. I wrestled my sister to the ground,handcuffed her, threw her in the back seat of my car, drove to her place,threw a bucket of ice water over her. I'm lying, the water was tepid. Anyway looks are only thing deep.

Back to the eye. Sorry bout asking who looks at whom. We don't now do we? We are all so happy with our chosen ones. Actually to catch a women's eye at the slots you virtually have to turn the confounded machine off and prise their fingers off the buttons. Another mate of mine married a mad slots player. The minister had to wait until her jackpot came up on the machine she brought into the church with her which she had stolen. I lie again. The machine wasn't actually IN the church as such. It was in the back of the limo which backed up the steps and into the church in Las Vegas. To coin a slot the minister the revvin' Blama lam just simply said to the lady." do you take this slot machine to be your lawfully wedded to hold now and for ever more for better or power disruption so help yourself with a useless husband thrown in or at or out when his slot balance is minus nil?" Veronica said,"yes i don't" she was busy shoveling the coins out into her designer stolen handbag. By this time the slot police had arrived, they stood respectfully to hear the husband's vows. Rev Blama revved up a gear, "do you swear to visit Veronica in court so help yourself?" The husband to be, scratched his chin, his new missus was frantically going through his wallet. "I do...and i don't Blama?" came the confused reply. Rev Blama exploded, "you will be blamea her my friend if you do? The slot jammed. Veronica straightened up. Rev B took the opportunity, "you may kiss her slot." The newlyweds both bent down and kissed the chromium slot machine. The flower girls threw dollars,the slot police caught the coins, the slot machine was loaded into the back of the police car with Veronica still stuck to the buttons. Rick, her new husband, a real good looking guy, followed the loaded car on his trike bike with the Rev sitting pillion to keep the revs up.

I wander. The mate with the lazy eye finally found it a job. Keeping an eye on the other eye. This in effect made my mate cross eyed. He solved this problem by adding another eye on his forehead which cost a great deal but the lazy eye stopped work to get a bit of shut eye, leaving the new eye to see its way clear...and that my friends is the end because just like the lazy eye i prefer to keep a lid on it...and get some shut eye myself. Just waiting for Veronica to leave Las Vegas. This is your friend and mine sighing off...Rick.

MORAL? Don't gamble or gambol...either way eye really don't care. Anyway,if God didn't want people to look at each other we would all be wearing blinkers now wouldn't we? So don't get off track and start racing round. Love the one you're with.:>)

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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