Saturday, February 16, 2019

Ring a ring a bunch of roses. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, September 26, 2014

What does the modern self made woman want at the end of the day apart from a career, and dominating all around her? Surely not a bunch of flowers?


I was back in the city talking to a mate and his missus. Somehow we got on to the subject of women; they're the ones that drive the male species round the bend and up the garden path to the wailing wall of defeatism,and vice- versa, to be fair. It's the flowers adjacent the path i query bout. The only advice i can give re: the wailing wall is to strap a piece of foam on your forehead or sit down and talk your problems over like two uncivilized people. Another hint. Pretend your partner is absolutely right, maybe they are? Now this is where flowers can do the talking. Perhaps pour a glass of your partner's favorite, then present a bunch of flowers which apparently will start up a conversation with the heart strings of the aggrieved or whomever you've had a minor or major tiff, with and all will be apples. The best result, hopefully, a 'slobber cobber' bunch of kisses,a quick tongue run down the nape of the neck, or the alternative,downside-slap across the face- and a belated handshake with the dire warning, "do that again and its over rover!" Of course Rover the bewildered dog wonders why he has been included in the conversation because it's been ages since he did a number one on the white carpet which also stained his reputation. His reputation unlike the carpet,recovered, so why now is his name being mentioned at the end of a short angry verbal?

Flowers, according to my 'modernistic' somewhat thrifty Dutch friends are no longer a necessary to present to a woman whether they be at the start of a romance, or to placate a 'wrong' real or imagined. Maybe i've used the word romance in a past tense? Do women still like to be romanced? Is romance the sign of weakness in a male? My friend's missus had a baby girl, he presented her with a bunch of roses. His missus told me that all she could think of was, quote,"what a waste of money!" unquote.

Now all guys are aware that you don't these days give up a seat to a lady, nor do you hold a door open for them, if you wait respectfully in a lift for them to disembark first you are thought of in 'basement' terms, ending up faced with a 'stand off' glare which women are pretty damn good at and use as a weapon of "mess with me and i'll destroy you, you just want to perve on my ass...? Now, according to my latest foray into what women despise, (according to Ms Thriftyfied) the terrible misgiving, tortuous put down quite unsavory act of presenting with good intentions- a bunch of flowers.

Now Australians are broad minded. So are i've been led up the garden path to believe. Often i hear in the pub or street, the furtive or loudly exclaimed, "man! wouldn't mind that broad!" All jokes aslide, is it alright to hold a woman's hand?

Is it okay when you take a woman out to dinner to pull the chair out for her? Should you even dare pay for the meal and drinks for fear that Ms 'Independence Day' (particularly at night) may think that act in itself is a precursor male act expectationary of "i'm going to bonk you tonight. Or sometime soon?" Which hasn't and didn't enter the male's mind for one fleeting instant.

Is it okay to tell a woman she looks hot? Could Casanova survive in today's world of women who seem to have their thoroughly modern Millie minds toward maybe careers that don't include the male...they want to be treated like men? Don't really need men at all? Some already burned, preferring not to take a chance on a decent guy if he hasn't got a decent mill or so?

After all when its said and done, what constitutes a decent guy or indeed a decent woman? So many variables. Is it even alright to LOOK at someone these days? Let alone the audacity to sink to the lowest, presenting a bunch of flowers. Is romance just a figment in a romance stained book or a facade of stage and screen acting? Is it okay to sit at a table in the privacy of a house, hold your partner's hands, look right deep down in their eyes where love resides waiting to be ignited,and only a woman knows according to each and every woman's individual thoughts about what constitutes love and the stirrings of...and care a little? I wrote this tongue- in- cheek. I personally believe any woman loves flowers and flowers with love and responds to a bit of attention. I could be wrong. Maybe i hang out with the wrong people.

Maybe the future will be a male free environment. Maybe that's what some corporate "i'm in charge" demanding women want. You know what turns me on? When a woman curls her arm round mine, grips my hand, and rests her head on my shoulder. Damn hard to open the door for a woman that way but who gives a damn..."frankly my dear." You can end up sliding down the wall of a slippery stainless steel lift doing that sort of stuff. Careful.. wouldn't want to wrinkle perfectly good intentions now would we? :>) Have a great day.

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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2 comments on Ring a ring a bunch of roses. RIGINAL.

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By Barbara MacDonald on September 26, 2014 at 12:04 pm

I agree that romance is not dead..and yes, I love all the sweet little things a man open the car door, walk on outside of the road, takes me out to wine and dine me, and pays...just how we grew up, and even my daughters prefer their men to be this type of gentleman. Probably because their Mom told them this is how a man should treat a lady.

Flowers....and chocolate Or in my case a much loved book. One of my sweetest memories is of the dozen yellow roses I got with each child that was born...1 dozen with my first, 2 dozen with my second, three dozen with my third....good thing that was all, or my then husband would of had to take out a

This brought a smile to my face Riginal....go with the flowers, women are still women, and yes we like romance. Well done my friend.

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By riginal on September 26, 2014 at 01:38 pm

thanks Twinkletoes. I knew you'd say that because you're you. I don't use lifts. Scared of getting bashed and robbed by a female bank manager with a high interest 'locked in' a loan. The ones that finish their wine smash the glass on the bar and eat the fragments! They're out there hunting for the big bucks and lifestyles. Glass above the rest? Just kidding,all female bank managers don't do that. Though last one i talked to smoked like a steam train...she was stressed, hate women who smoke butt. There's a one liner there somewhere? :>)

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