Saturday, February 16, 2019

'See through' paranoia. RIGINAL.

by riginal (writer), moe australia, April 04, 2014

When you can't see your way clear and imagined paranoia vexes can count on your shrink...or can't you?


The year of the dragon. "And doesn't it...drag on?" The handsome immaculately draped highly gradticulative 30- year- old solver of mental looked down with undisguised furrowed concern. But not enough to leave a permanent crease in the Peter Pannish natural born 'ladykiller' boyish profile. He could have been an actor, preferred to re act to the world's "why me doc?" The creased expensive couch sighed, seemingly with mutual concern from the weight of the invisible man as he stretched out in tension like a troubled sensitive butterfly not wishing to hover too long for fear of perhaps the shadow of a non-existent predator. The polished shrink, 'a man for all reasons.' His vocation? To quantify. Box appropriately. Pill appropriately...questioned the statement.

"When you say "drag on" the scuffing reluctive underlying down drag implies it is of implicationary borderline concern to me. We must dissect."

It is the year 2020. 'Shrink' time is no longer timed. Ticking is but a hands off residue, a soft relaxant pendulum. Father time is on long service leave. Presidents are no longer sworn at...time has healed 'voter rift' and the majority are 'sworn in'. Jobs are plentiful for the 'invisible.'So what? thought the highly intuitive shrink, could be the problem?

I.M. :"I sensed what, in your opinion, IS my problem doc?"

S." That's the invisible question my seemingly troubled friend. Have you been sleeping restless?"

I.M."No doc...i've never slept with wrestlers...if i slept say with a female wrestler then how in heaven's name would i get any sleep?"

S:" I meant do you have trouble sleeping?"

I.M."Only when i'm awake."

S:" That's understandable. I ask because your invisible wife rang and told me you seem to be out of sight lately. My text book study of out of sight out of mind is a common occurrence these days in the somewhat invisible society we live in. Your file shows a rather normal life in that you have an invisible job garnered from working hard in a 'see through' garment factory. You are heard but rarely seen at work. You have only ever been seen to lose your temper when your beautiful wife threw your first invisible baby out with the invisible bath water. An ob seen act which led you to a bout of unseenly conduct, but you rallied out of sight visibly after a course of therapy which included intensive hands on reflective self -reproach glove in hand kid gloves that marked the position of the baby's presence at any given location thus curing this unsightly problem. Plus, a dye was infused in the invisible water and the invisible bath fitted with a strainer so that in the unlikely chance the baby's I.D. gloves were not fitted prior to wash time the child would be lodged at the end of the bath and therefore be easily retrieved...which could be easily seen too.

I'M. "Look doc i know i've got a lot to be thankful for..."

S:" You certainly have, you are not behind in your invisible mortgage, you drive a Merc which perhaps makes your invisible neighbours rather envious when they see you drive by..."

I.M. :" Doc!...doc! it's my wife...i think she's having an affair...fling! if you will"

S:" Ahhh! we're getting to the crux of things...what makes you think your lovely wife is straying outside the invisible bond a married couple have between each other?"

I.M. :"We'll... she dresses provocatively. She hums songs like..."when will i see you again?"

S:" That's ridiculous! A lot of women dress up, she's not humming..."when won't i see you again?" Do you have regular, you know."

I.M." know..."

S:" I don't know...but if you know then what you know is well know i'm getting rather too personal so let's leave sleeping dogs lie but rest assured your fears are unfounded. I believe you have the symptoms of 'unsighted paranoia.' "

I.M. "What's that?"

S:" Sigmund Fraud established the 'thought' paranoia at a whip- around party for his colleagues. "One thinks because their partner wears red slinky dresses and black see-through under garments and hums "when will i spear you again... with cupid's arrow," that their partner is having an affair with an unseen lover...."

FOX NEWS:" A shrink was shot in the buttocks today by an upset invisible man. Investigating see-thru black undergarment police have not laid unsightly charges. Mrs Invisible woman wearing a slinky red dress and black see-thru underwear broke down as she appeared to post bail for her husband who saw through her affair with the bum shot shrink. The shrink declined to press charges as he was more worried about the fact that he could see through his behind. In other news, the President is concerned that people take him and life too seriously. The President said he is acutely aware a very small proportion of the public is ticked off over the way America is heading but he believes the remaining loyal majority of 20% will stand behind him when he seeks re- erection. News to hand,or should i say rear, the shrink is resting well, but paranoid over things he didn't forsee...

About the Writer

Bio...bioio...daylight come an i wanna go home. Come missa tele man tele me banana. A banana tele? Seriously would like to hook up with other comedy writers to engage.
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