Wednesday, February 20, 2019

I can buy my own drinks

by LifeCherries (writer), South Africa, November 16, 2013

A friend sent me an e-card this morning and it got my mind thinking about how woman are doing it for themselves in today's world

As an almost middle aged woman, brought up with old school values, I have had to stand up and take notice of younger woman who have taken life by the balls and run with it. For instance - the reason I started my blog is because I attended a social networking workshop and felt rather threatened that all the younger women sitting next to me all had their own blogs - I didn't even know what a blog was until that day. I walked out that evening knowing that I had to change my way of thinking. If I was to survive in a modern world, I needed to start doing things for myself.

Now let's not get confused by what I am talking about. I have always done things myself and I have become a jack of all trades in being able to do things. I am a hero in being able to do things myself and my life motto is "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

But this is not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is doing things FOR yourself. Forgetting what hubby thinks or you boss thinks or what you kids or friends think. You need to look after yourself first, do the things you want to do and then look after everyone else. I have come the learn that if you are happy, everyone around you is happy.

If there was ever a time for a woman to make a difference in the world, that time is now.

I thought I would come up with a list of things to encourage women to start doing things for themselves.

What rule book?

Throw out the rule book. Make your own set of rules. Rules were made to be broken anyway. Don't listen to how others say thing should be done. Figure it out for yourself. Yes, get advise along the way but in the end do things your way. And trust your gut!

Do things that make you happy

Ask yourself what things count in your life or make a difference to your life. Ask yourself who you are doing things for. Make sure you do things that make you happy.

Surround yourself with positive people

You know that friend who is always moaning about her husband an her kids and how stressed she is at work - yeah HER. Unfriend her. You do not need to surround yourself by negativity. Create a supportive environment. As much as us ladies think we can do things alone, we cannot. We need a support structure and make sure that structure is one filled with positivity and encourages you to be you and a happy you. A good gut check is: “Do I feel more happier and more energized or less after being with my friends?”

Have a goal

Think about what you want out of life and go for it. It is difficult striving for something if you don't know what that is. It doesn't mean you have to decide now the exact path or what the end game should be. But acknowledge that you need to have some direction. And if that direction is not working for you - change it. Nothing in life is cast in stone.

Don't forget to smell the roses

Yes it is good to go after that goal. Start your own business. Make money. But don't forget that you need to enjoy life along the way. It is pointless doing it all and having it all if you have forgotten to smell the roses along the way.

Ciao for now

Lanthie (Http://

About the Writer

Rediscovering myself, my life and finding ways of challenging myself to try new things.
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6 comments on I can buy my own drinks

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By riginal on November 16, 2013 at 11:21 pm

Good for you young lady. To hell with men i say BUT do you realise that a lot of guys ARE sensitive to a woman's knees...sorry... needs.Seriously men do realise that women can stand on their own two feet they do realise that as a male they are sometimes an appendage which can be successfully removed with minimal scarring if any at all.Men are never as confident as they present.Never SO confident that they know it all if true be known and they lay THEIR E-cards on the table at the risk of being scorned or banished from female interaction. Bearing in mind that men are not really wanted by the "stand alone don't come near me for anything cos we are women hear us roar/raw we don't want/need ya anymore n' go screw yourselves..." Where does that leave the 'sensitive male' assuming he can't or isn't allowed to buy you a drink over a conversation such as "what heat plug should i use bearing in mind i'm going to tunnel ram it at a later date down the track because i love a little boost up at the weekends?" Or,"i'm having a few female wrestler friends over at the weekend for a piss up would you sir be interested-if things get out of hand-in being strangled or having your arm broken in a couple of places plus your bottom detached from your add-ons which we don't believe you guys are entitled to anyway...?" Or, "i am a female executive i have earned the right to be by myself,lay my own chick bricks, frame my own wall,and handle my own downpipes when i feel the need on a stormy night!" Marvelous post Cherrie, more please, what do you women want from us sensitive guys who recognise your station in life but really just don't know when/where/if/ to catch your train of thought or maybe not at all? I propose women only bars, women only cars,women only planes, (driven by women pilots) women Presidents, but occasionally open at their behest to a conversation mutually agreed upon should a sensitive Brad Pitt type sidle up in a mixed bar containing women who have 'made it' and ask ever so politely, "would you care for an armwrestle my dear...OR could we discuss men and their short comings which indeed are long overdue if i may be allowed to say so from a respectable distance so as not to be fried by your 'forcefield' of disdain?" Has it got that bad Cherrie and if so more of the same and you are quite entitled and it is a woman's right to be on an equal or if not a slightly raised footing of a bricks and mortar construction as long as a ladder doesn't snag an errant stocking during the equalization process of"we Tarzan you pain!" Anyway,i'm sure a sensitive man would take his stockings off first like they used to do in the old English days so the snag should be deleted in a woman's life i guess...but completely? Hope you can see the funny side Cherrie...otherwise i'm screwed...but isn't that the tone of intonation the e-card alludes to? Beats raving on about hyperlinks in my book!Take care and my love to all...if i may? Cheers...

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By LifeCherries on November 17, 2013 at 01:14 am

Hi Riginal and thanks for the comment. I had to read it a few times to get the gist of what you were saying and you make a good point. It is not easy being a woman in today's society as the rules have changed. We need to be able to stand on our own 2 feet and unfortunetly it is to your detriment that we do this on occassion. But this also encourages you to up your game - you need to be worthy of us and earn our respect. The modern man has become lazy. I have my own personal viewpoint and at the risk of being shot down by my fellow armwrestlers I will divulge a little.

I am a firm believer that regardless of all, men should still lead. Yes you may not come home to a wife who has adorned herself and made a hot dinner which is waiting for you at a given time after you have read the daily newspaper. But I believe that men are and remain the leader in a relationship - the dominant half.

I still need a man to love me, cherish me, protect me, guide me, master me and above all complete me. But you need to earn that right first. Once you have earned that right, I will submit to you completely. This is not something I can get from a draw full of toys.

So when you offer to buy me that drink - make sure you are up to the task!

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By riginal on November 17, 2013 at 02:20 am

oh no Cherrie you aint gonna suck me pay for your own dang drink...i don't trust women who come straight out and ask me things like "are you up to the tusk?" Disregarding the drink which some guys need many of to summon some sort of latent Dutch courage i would- should i ever be lucky enough to meet you and your hubby- grab a glass of water and engage you in maybe discordant random discussion about men needing to pull their socks up,or stockings if that's their bent.I wrote in total jest but it would seem that a lot of self 'men made by women' that the women want their cake and perhaps eat it too? Hard to draw a fine line i guess. And for goodness sake why should you live in abject fear of being shot down at all by your fellow arm wrestlers? Opinions don't kill people after all. At least having the courage to bring the subject up bodes you well.Remember Adam in the beginning and Eve? Eve should have put her foot down and told Adam she was the boss and to pull himself together as there wouldn't be any hanky panky on her patch. But did she? Hard one to wrestle with i guess,would you at least let me apologize on behalf of mankind/kind man to the deference of kind women i'm in total support of your opinion. We sorry wretches i agree should lift our game or lift something. Don't ever be afraid to state your opinion or not even wrestle whether to or not. It's freedom of choice after all,i rest my glass. And raise it to the women of the world. Cheers...have a great weekend.Whatever your choice have one for me. I firmly believe women are the chosen.Men are from bars.

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By LifeCherries on November 17, 2013 at 02:57 am

Nice reply and thanks. I'd let you buy me a drink any day by the way.

Cheers and hope you have a great weekend as well.

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By riginal on November 17, 2013 at 04:37 am

:>) xxxx

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By Filipina88 on July 02, 2014 at 03:10 am

That is so amazing look fenetre prix

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