In life, generally, we avoid saying certain things in order to aliviate the pain or discomfort it would cause others. Most of these times, we are limiting ourselves from entirely communicating our feelings and decisions to one another. Imagine this scenario: you are with your lover, in bed. He’s undressing you very seductibely and you are undressing him. Two empty bottles of wine near the bed, your pants are by the chair and your bra stuck on the cealing fan. Then you turn to your guy and say: “would you mind showering first, you’re too sweaty”. Next thing you know, not only did you kill the moment, but your guy is gone - so now you are sitting alone, with a complete mess and sexless! … SEXLESS!!!
In some cases it’s ok so be blunt but in the bedroom, limit yourself! This entry is all about saving YOU from being alone and keeping YOUR mouth from insulting others before and during intimacy.
Phase #1: Comparisons
“You’re so sexy! Not like my last boyfriend, he was horrible!”
Now let me stop you right there. First off, if you think that voicing another lover will get you far, then you are mistaken. I’m sure you thought that he would be flattered and that it is the best compliment you have ever given. In reality; he’s thinking if you will be comparing him to your ex in everything and if it’s even worth it. Instead, you should have said: “You have an amazing body!” That’s all, no need to comparisons!
Phase #2: Competitions
“I know plenty of guys who would go down on me! Why won’t you?”
No one likes to have competition (this goes for both men and women so pay attention) – I’m sure you thought you’d give him insentive and something to compete for since men/women LOVE to compete, but beware, this one will backfire as soon as it comes out and there is no taking it back. He will be thinking that he doesn’t want to compete for you, he wants to have you all to himself. Instead, you should have said: “My biggest fantasy is to have you eat me alive. It would turn me on so much!” Trust me, he won’t say no because you aren’t demanding nor is he competing.
Phase #3: Negativity
“Why can’t you be come careful? My nipples aren’t edible! Be gentle damn it.”
Maybe, just maybe, that isn’t the best solution to having it done your way. First, he will think that you are ungreatefull and second, he will think that all you can do is be a critic. When it comes to sex, negative words like ‘hate’, ‘dislike’, ‘don’t', ‘never’, and ‘not’ are trully NOT necessary and can damp any relationship. Instead, give him compliments on everything you love that he does and what your favorite moves are. Then tell him “my nipples hurt a bit, I’m very sensitive” …and que the smile!
Phase #4: Orders
“To the left, right there, oh wait… to the right, hurry, faster, oh right there, no wait …. down! Hurry, faster… Oh nevermind!!!”
If you are in your right mind, avoid this at all cost. No one likes to be ordered around, much less around someone else’s body trying to catch an escape artist that goes by the name of Pleasure. No one likes to chase it, they want to discover it! You may think that you are giving him exact directions on how to get to that second star to the right and straight until the morning… but in reality, you are giving him perfect directions to why he should never be with you again, specially until the morning. instead; mound him! Lead him to where you like it best. No man will deny that a woman on top isn’t sexy. Just don’t order him around or he’ll order you out of his life.
Phase #5: Amnesia
“Who’s your daddy? Say my name bitch!”
Woe! There better be some amnesia in your brain if you are asking these questions and calling him names. You may think that this actually does work and that he will literally say your name but most likely, he’ll think you’re insane. You’re not Snoop Dog nor are you an old woman who can’t remember her name, so keep this in your head only if you must explore it. Not only will you seem foolish but you will also turn your lover off and for obvious reasons. In my experience, men only do that they feel at the moment, not what you tell them to tell you. TRUST ME , this never works… unless you are a member of the American Pie movie or you are being paid to do it.
Overall, stop yourself before you say it, think about it, or even imagine it. These are, in short, the most used words that women utter to men. There is no reason for you to be alone in your shower doing the dirty… it’s time for you to bring that man into your shower and let him rock your world… HIS WAY!
As Always – Looking out for your sex life’s well-being!