Thursday, February 21, 2019

Do as you would be done by...

by Donna Brown (writer), West Yorkshire, December 31, 2011

In 2012, do you want to do as you would be done by or do as you are done by? There's a big difference...

I’m not religious but there’s one sentiment that I believe everyone can – and should – stand by and that’s ‘Do as you would be done by…’. So I was kind of brought up short by my own thinking today – ‘Do as you are done by’ – when making my resolutions.

I said, without a trace of bitterness, that my New Year’s resolution would be not to have any time for people who was abrupt/rude/superior and to apply a ‘pay it forward’ mentality to all kindness and disassociate myself from people who didn’t do the same. I wasn’t being rude or negative. I wasn’t even hoping that every nice thing I did would be repaid. Life doesn’t work like that. I don’t work like that. No-one should need a reason to be nice. Nonetheless, I’ve encountered some… shall we say, unpleasant… people during 2011 and I wanted to shield myself in 2012.

I then received a lovely message from a gentleman that completely turned my thinking around. He told me that he was going to continue being nice to the nasty, the cranky etc. That it’s easy to love the nice things and turn a blind eye to the uglier things in life. His message was lovely, full of warmth and good spirit. He wished me all the best for 2012.

It really got me thinking. Do I want to do as I AM done by? Or do I want to do as I WOULD be done by? Should I change my philosophy and my way of being, simply because I’ve encountered nasty people? Do I want to work towards something that might ultimately make me a more selfish person? Absolutely not!

So, my New Year’s resolutions are revised:
-I will have patience but I won’t be a doormat
-I will apply a ‘pay it forward’ mentality to all kindness, even though I may not receive the same courtesy
-I will understand that sometimes it’s enough to be a nice person and that it’s a blessing and not a curse

Of course, I maintain right now that I will also exercise more, tidy more, be more organised (somehow professionally I’m way ahead in that game but personally I’m a complete shambles). I suspect these latter resolutions will go out of the window by January 2nd. As for the rest, I will try to content myself with the person I am. We cannot change others and we will encounter some negative traits but that does not mean we should aim to take them on ourselves.

So, thank you to my revolutionary and resolutionary (I suspect this isn’t actually a word…) friend for your kind words and for keeping a little love in the world!

2012: Do as you would be done by and keep spreading the love

About the Writer

Donna Brown is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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