Sunday, February 17, 2019

Pistol Packin' Me

by Marcy Lynne (writer), Southwest Florida, December 03, 2011

Credit: Microsoft
Look out world, I'm packin'.

Going to the gun range with my husband - not exactly what I meant by "quality time".

Well I did something different today. I went to the firing range with my husband. First time for me, second time for him. This is the same husband who, until the age of 67, had never held a gun in his hand. I had hoped he never would. He is, after all, Sicilian, and I have always had a bad feeling about the combination of guns and Sicilians.

How did we get here? Well, it began with a nasty neighbor who repeatedly "let us know" that he had a case full of automatic weapons in his condo. Upstairs from us. Oh goody. The guy was six-foot three, thirty-something, ex-Marine, often booze-breathy, and fairly scary. My husband, sixty-something, non-military, and weaponless, felt intimidated. Thus the purchase of his first hand gun. He could tell you what it was. I, on the other hand, have been in denial of the whole gun thing, and do not know what kind it was. It doesn't matter now anyway, because he soon discovered that guns are an interesting hobby and sold the first one, trading for a different one, and has since bought three more. Oh Goody.

He got himself a concealed carry license and felt strongly that since we now have guns in the house, I should get one too. So I did. Had to go to a special class to get a certificate to get the license. That was another story. The class. The instructor basically spent two hours instructing us NOT to shoot ourselves. Good class.

So today, off we go to the gun range. Ear protection, eye protection, guns, ammo, the whole works all in a gym bag kind of thing which we carried into the place. We were assigned a booth, clipped on our target and lock and load. (That's just an expression. I don't actually know what that means.)

Husband did pretty well. One of his guns kept jamming and a staffer helped him with that, but it was good to know that the stupid thing jams. Not the kind of thing you want to find out for the first time in a dark parking lot facing a guy with a 9 mm pointed at you sideways.

As for me....well I hit the target a few times. I didn't expect to get any bulls eyes, just wanted to know how to actually shoot a gun. Good to know if you find yourself in a dark parking lot facing a guy with a 9 mm pointed at you sideways.

Only a couple small injuries too. Husband cut his thumb holding the semi-automatic wrong. Chamber knicked him pretty good when it recoiled. And I have a small red burn spot on my chest where a hot cartridge went right down the front of my shirt after flying out of the gun. Yeah, they warned me about that, but I didn't think it could really happen.

All in all, quite successful. I shot a gun. Husband has a used target with several bullet holes inside the circle. Injuries minimal. He says we'll do it again sometime.

Oh goody.

About the Writer

Marcy Lynne is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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11 comments on Pistol Packin' Me

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By Notumbus Bumbus on December 03, 2011 at 07:41 pm

Very funny, though in that "oh, goodness" sort of way. Why not just get that upstairs neighbor mind-meltingly drunk and invite him up to the roof for a look at the moon? Then, invite him to play frisbee, and you take the first throw.

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By Billotto on December 04, 2011 at 12:46 am

I enjoyed the story...especially since I don't pack heat myself...I have owned guns in the past, as a kid..the stanard .22 long rifle, later whatever my dad and brother had in the arsenal;your ability to paint clear mind pictures with your writing is key. I like the '9mm sideways' reflects a good sense of humor. The hot shell casing down the front of your shirt..?


Looks like you and your husband are primed, locked and loaded...and don't know much about gun lingo either. I do know how to hit a target though, between my teens, boot camp and later excursions into the world of weaponry...I don't know nearly enough and am also a bit in denial about the whole issue.

I guess I never have felt legitimately threatened, and as a result never made steps A, B and C to get it together with a piece.

Someday perhaps.

Good article, Marcy. I haven't been in BrooWaha in over a year and forgot my name. Duh.

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By Marcy Lynne on December 04, 2011 at 07:04 am

To Notumbus Bumbus: actually, you sound a lot like my husband. And I should have mentioned that thankfully, the nasty neighbor has since moved. The gun fascination on the part of my husband, however, has stayed. As with most things that scare me, I'd rather laugh about it than shake in my boots.(Easier to say now that he's gone.) Thanks for reading and commenting.

To Billotto: I really appreciate your thoughts. And yeah, I hated it that we felt threatened. Truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever really carry a gun around all the time. Husband would like me to. I guess my "denial" mechanism just can't allow that the world has become so dangerous. Anyway, thanks for pointing out your favorite parts. Made my day.

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By Marcy Lynne on December 04, 2011 at 09:20 am

Hey Notumbus, I just got it....the frisbee thing. You're funny!

(I'm a little slow on the uptake this morning!)

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By Janey B on December 04, 2011 at 11:09 am

Funny yarn. I grew up with guns, so it wasn't a huge leap for me to get a handgun (have a shotgun stashed in the closet). I have a 9 mm but I certainly don't hold it sideways! As for your neighbor, five bucks says when he finds out you guys shoot, he'll become your new best friend. (BTW, he might be able to give you some pointers)

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By Ed Attanasio on December 04, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I used to not want guns around the house, until one of my friends was the victim of a home invasion. "When the guy was standing in my house with a gun, my first impulse was I need one of those," he explained. Precisely.

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By Bessie Jewel on December 04, 2011 at 02:10 pm

Hi, fellow Geezer....oops, I meant Boomer! Fun article. My Cajun husband was born with a shotgun in his hand, so I understand! Texas' "concealed handgun law" went into effect on the same day taxes were raised on tobacco products. My first thought was, do we really want a bunch of nicotine withdrawal folks packin' heat? To quote you, "Oh goody."

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By Uttam Gill on December 05, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Marcy it's very well written...

Reading this I understood your inexperience and the knowledge about Arms and is the key word while handling the arms...In my community having a gun is always a status symbol but I don’t subscribe to that view...I had my wide share of experience with guns while serving the Indian Army...I love to test my marksmanship at the shooting range...I can tell you that your neighbour with intimidating personality can be a great friend if you ask him about the handling of weapon...I know soldiers...just give them a space and you would find a real man in him absolutely different from what you visually asses him...Soldiers are human being and they are trained to fight the enemies and it’s natural they would talk about weapon, enemies…scratch them bit deeper I am sure you would be surprised to know that they are as ordinary as others…

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By Marcy Lynne on December 06, 2011 at 08:25 am

Uttam, you are a rare jewel. And I mean that in the best way. You're looking past my humor into the soul of the "nasty neighbor". God bless you.

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By Uttam Gill on December 07, 2011 at 05:18 am

Thanks Marcy...that neighbour is part of

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By Cyryla88 on June 26, 2014 at 01:37 am

That is really nice materac do spania

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