Friday, February 22, 2019

When To Let Go

Credit: (c) Jason Davis
Sunshine, smiles and love!

A reader writes in trying to save her sister from going down the wrong path.

Dear Shari...

My sister is 21 and dependent on her mother for everything. Her mother and my father have voiced their thoughts on her and hoped that I could get through to her. It backfired and she told me to "back off" and that she "doesn't want motherly advice from me". I want to just let her be and sit back and watch her hit "rock bottom" but something in my gut tells me not to back off till she cuts me off. HELP!!!!!

--Sisterly Love

Dear Sisterly Love,

Its hard to watch anyone you know hit rock bottom. My experience has been that you can try and try to give people advice but at the end of the day, what works for some, doesn't always work for another. We all have to go through our own experiences to learn. It doesnt mean that we all have to hurt, but some hurts are NECESSARY in each of our paths so that we can move on to the next thing in our lives stronger and more capable of handling future challenges. I believe we are all given separate learning lessons in our lives and as much as you learn something a certain way, doesn't mean that it is the same for someone else. Now, that doesn't mean that you allow your sister to be in this alone. What you can do, is tell her you believe in her and that you know she will make the right decisions for herself. Let her know you will be there to support her either way. You dont want your sister, or any loved one for that matter, to cut you off. She will need you if things fall apart. What you can do then, is offer to be with her and help her get through it, as that is what love IS. Hopefully with your unconditional support and love from the get-go, she WILL make the decisions that are best for her. Now dont get me wrong, I know how hard it is to watch someone go down a path that doesnt seem so great, but we have to remember that when we have been set on doing certain things in our lives, nobody was able to tell us anything different. That is what learning is about. We all go through it and hopefully we all have someone like you to be there for us to help pick up the pieces.

Much Love,


*For daily inspiration and to find out more about me, please feel free to check out my website . You can also follow me around the streets of Los Angeles as I ramble on about philosophy, spirituality or anything for that matter on my webseries, "Dashboard Confessions" at

About the Writer

Shari G is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on When To Let Go

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By TonyBerkman on October 19, 2011 at 07:48 pm

Really good advice. Tough question. More difficult to know what to do in this situation where a loved one is heading down a path that "others think is wrong." We sometimes do have to go through lessons even if they could be avoided by taking advice. Perhaps somehow we know they are important for us to experience and that it's the path we need to grow. Nobody said it would be easy :-) I do think what you suggest is the right focus on maintaining the relationship so that the person in you life has a "life line" should they need it. It's really easy when others are going through changes or doing things that you don't like to let them go and it's exactly what ends up destroying the relationship because the other person feels that you don't love them or believe in them enough to trust them to make decisions whether wrong or right. I've learned that at least half my decisions aren't the "right one's" though I wouldn't have it any other way. Some i'd have like to have avoided though I know I needed to go through the painful experience to breakthrough in understanding more about life, relationships and love.

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