Saturday, February 23, 2019

The Fear of Fear

Credit: (c) Jason Davis
Sunshine, smiles and love!

Are you that person that can't ever seem to stop worrying no matter how "good" things really are? Then you might just want to keep reading.

“How am I going to pay my rent this month?” “I hope my car doesn’t break down!” “I wonder if I’m ever going to find my soul mate?” “I wonder if I’m always going to be alone?” “Will I ever be rich?”

Does any of this sound familiar? I know some of it sounds all too familiar to me. It’s called worry. It’s that single thing that can keep you from sleep, from moving forward in your life, that can make you physically ill and/or even kill you, can make you miserable to be around, and can basically keep you from truly living. It’s also that single thing, that over ninety percent of the time, never come true.

I find myself, even now with all that I’ve learned, stuck in the old habits of my parents, playing that same tape over and over again in my head because it was what I grew up around; the fear/worry of not having enough money and always struggling financially. For someone else, it could be the fear of never finding love or the worry of being stuck in a job they hate for the rest of their lives. The funny thing about fear and worry is, it can debilitate you so much, that you end up doing everything possible to make sure your fears or worries come to fruition. Yes, the good ol’ self-fulfilling prophecy. I can worry so much about not making enough money, that even when money comes my way, I end up finding a way to spend it even before I have it. That way, I’m back in the same boat again of not having enough. Sounds silly and ridiculous, however, so many of us continue the cycle because it’s what is familiar or comfortable to us, even if it’s not healthy. It’s almost like staying in an unhealthy relationship because it’s all you are used to even if it’s not beneficial for your well-being. Some of us, are unfortunately, programmed to stress and worry. I like to say it’s the “neurotic Jew” in me.

In recent months, it has come to my attention that all of my worrying, anxiety and fear that I place around money is really just a big waste of time. The reason is, because no matter how it happens, things always seem to work themselves out and I always seem to pay my rent every month, all my bills get paid and ultimately, I’m always provided for. Whether it comes in the way of unexpected money from somewhere, someone provides for me, I make a lot of money at work, or my landlord gives me an extension by a week because he will be out of town, the money always shows up. It’s like that with everything in life. We spend so much time worrying about things, that the majority of the time, always end up working themselves out. I remember reading awhile ago, someone wrote on a website that F.E.A.R. stood for “False Evidence Appearing Real” and in that moment, it all just clicked for me. WE are the ones that place this worry or anxiety in our heads, perhaps because of an experience in the past, but mainly because sometimes we find, being in the place of worry is something that is a triggered reaction of ours, usually by a learned response from society around us.

Once I started really paying attention to how things always seemed to work themselves out, I was able to start living a life of more serenity. Even saying that word makes me smile. I’m sure if you took the time to stop and think right now about all the things in your life that you spent worrying and stressed over, you would find for yourself, that most of it didn’t end up happening. With that said, I say, let’s stop the stress, anxiety, fear and worry over things that are not in our control. I say, let’s start believing and knowing that all we do, always works out for our benefit. Why spend one more moment of the precious time given to us, stressed out and anxious over things that usually don’t come true! If we gave the same energy it took to worry, over to being grateful and happy instead, I bet the things you worried about “not having”, would show up in abundance! Why? Because you are telling the world that “you already have everything you need” and you are living in the state of gratitude because you have this knowledge. Haven’t you found that when you expect the worst, the worst usually shows up? Well, how about just believing from this point on, that whatever it is you find yourself worrying or fearful about, you step back, you take a breath, and you thank whomever or whatever , for what is already provided for you and to you. When you walk in the wisdom that you are always taken care of, you can spend a lot more time manifesting all the things that you actually want. Living in fear, only blocks all the blessings that are already present in your life. You are so busy focusing on what you don’t have or on what “might” happen, that you miss how amazingly abundant your life truly is! Of course, like anything else I’ve spoken about, it takes time, effort and the willingness to want to live a life better than you do now. It takes wanting to be done with the struggle, the fear, and the anxiety. It takes believing that you are worthy of being happy and you are worthy of a good life! The real secret to all of this is, you don’t really have to do much of anything to get to this place of contentment. It’s really just knowing that everything that you have ever wanted or desired is within YOU. It’s realizing that YOU are the answers to your prayers. It’s realizing that there is a reason we are called “Human BEings” and not “Human DOings”. Just relax. You’ve got this.

*For daily inspiration and to find out more about me, please feel free to check out my website . You can also follow me around the streets of Los Angeles as I ramble on about philosophy, spirituality or anything for that matter on my webseries, "Dashboard Confessions" at Also, on Fridays, you can find my advice column right here under “Dear Shari.” You can write in regarding any article I write, or any advice you want in general. Please email me at . All emails are anonymous. I look forward to your questions!

About the Writer

Shari G is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on The Fear of Fear

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By Betty B. on December 21, 2011 at 03:36 am

this is so true, i worry about them and my grandsons.

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By Credo on October 23, 2013 at 07:42 pm

Worry is an emotion that parents will not be able to live without. It's a given...


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