Sunday, February 17, 2019

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I was going through a spiraling depression... The lows were lower than low, deep down in the depths of darkness. I couldn't get it together. I couldn't figure out how to feel anything other than hopeless.

I scrapped seven paintings, stared at my cursor when I tried to write, and struggled to even talk or answer the phone. Getting dressed, showered, and outside was another challenge. Nothing mattered. I figured it was time to call my shrink, but I worried about my ability to get in the car and drive myself there. The act of actually “getting there” seemed so overwhelming to me, as did... Read More

“Hey, dreamy, remember me?”“C’mon, I might have a bad memory, but I’m not likely to forget you in ten seconds.”“So?”“You want me to do what?”She grinned, mysterious. “Something. Anything.”“That’s not a great help.”She smiled. “That’s part of the challenge. Knowing what to do.”He shifted uneasily on the couch. “I was proposing marriage, not slaying dragons.”She reached across and stroked his nervously tapping hand. “All I want you to do is prove that you love me. A gesture.”He stuck his tongue out at her. “Will that do?”He didn’t know if she’d placed a time limit on him, but the days... Read More

Look at that man! Look at him move! He’s Formula One, a shooting star, the mag-lev machine. He’s smooth, this guy, rolling up the miles on automatic, weaving like tapestry. He’s got a serious case of the hurries, the gotta-get-theres. Where’s he going? Who knows.

Man on a mission, doing the new dance, the hurtling soldier. Bang!

They cower behind the boulder

“Keep down, Mick.”


“What the hell was that?”


“Can I go home now, my mum’ll be waiting?”

“Shut up, they’ll hear us.”

“They know we’re here, Mick. That’s... Read More

“All Jews off the train, in an orderly fashion, Now!” the tall man shouted. Some members of the Jewish people helped the unloading passengers get off from the trains' cattle carts. I watched as the confused and terrified people scanned the crowd for their families. “we stay together” I heard many fathers say to their family. Mothers held onto their children tighter than usual and babies cried as if they knew their fate. They had no idea of how bad their fate would be. Only I knew for I have seen it daily and heard the shouts and seen the smoke of the last loads of Jews coming from the chimneys.... Read More

I grew up used to hearing my mother insult my father, used to my father cheating with his scantily clad secretaries, and then buying my mom diamond “shut up” gifts. My family wasn’t what you would call “normal”, even though every holiday card, family event, and public portrayal would say otherwise.

Smile Sandy. Pretend you have a loving family who doesn’t hide a closet full of skeletons and resent. Pretend that you know what it means to love someone.

And I did smile.

For a few years…

Until the corners of my mouth just wouldn’t go up anymore.

Every relationship... Read More

It was a chilly night. The street lights were shining bright like they usually are at that hour of night. The clock hit 12:53, seven minutes to get home and make curfew but instead I walked into the building which stood before me. My phone rang once again and I ignored my mother's call once more. Eight missed calls in the last half hour. I refused to pick up the phone. Refused to hear the words that I feared to believe. I held down the END key on my phone, the phone shut off. I no longer needed to know the time, no longer did I want to. I held my phone tight in my fist. A tear ran down my cheek... Read More

She was the thirteenth, the last of my mother’s children. From the moment she was born, we all adored her. The rest of us were various shades of redhead, but Elizabeth was dark. She fascinated us. Her hair was so dark brown that it was almost black. In the right light, veins of red ran through it, warming it. Her eyes were fringed and gorgeous. When the rest of us hid from the sun, Elizabeth worshipped it and soaked it up, her skin becoming smooth and brown. She smiled often, her small teeth flashing white. She knew she was our darling but only took advantage of it when she really had to.

... Read More

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