Many of us have probably seen The Seven Year Itch with Marilyn Monroe, which follows the story of a marriage hitting the stereotypically rough patch leading up to the ten-year mark. In modern day relationships, a trend we’ve seen is an itch much quicker to come to, and with much less commitment -- for these purposes, we’ll call it the “two-year itch.”
When a relationship comes to the two-year point, both parties inevitably start analyzing whether it would be a good idea to continue the relationship. The reason being that the first year, typically the honeymoon phase, is a period of getting to know each other, falling in love, having the kind of sex referenced in vorgasms.com, and having your first fights.
The first year is arguably the easiest, when you get to know your partner’s quirks and decide whether or not those quirks are deal breakers. The second year is about getting closer and getting through even tougher issues. Often, the time leading up to the three-year anniversary is when one starts to really ponder how much further they want to go with their partner.
As follows are a list of questions you should ask yourself if you find yourself unsatisfied, unhappy, or confused as to whether your current partner is someone you’d like to continue dating for the long haul.
- How satisfied have I been so far?
This is an important question you should ask yourself before moving forward in a relationship. Are your needs being met? Have you expressed those needs and been ignored in response? Does your partner count as a support system in your life? Does your partner meet your sexual and emotional needs? The third year with a partner will only make dissatisfaction more apparent the longer it goes on. Try and evaluate what you are getting from your partner, and what you aren’t.
- Could I see myself taking bigger steps towards the future with this person?
This is what the two-year itch is mostly all about, when you ask: do I see myself with this person moving forward? This is when you start asking the really tough questions. Could I see myself living with this person? Could I see myself marrying this person? Could I see myself having children with this person? And besides all of these questions that could be societal constructs, you could ask yourself about the future that you want. Does the person you’re with now support that future? Could you see them in it and would you want to?
- Is this a healthy relationship?
This is the most important question of all: is your relationship actually healthy? Does your partner treat you with respect and compassion? Do they support you and cheer you on rather than judge you? If this seems familiar to you in relationships, then you should be extra wary. Patterns can be extremely hard to break without self-awareness and accountability. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, then you should strongly consider leaving it.