Thursday, March 21, 2019

Department Stores Are Stealing Time

by V (writer), Venice!, December 03, 2006


On the 26th of October, a Thursday night, I stood before the television - which was on mostly for company "trying out my first ever Halloween costume. Due to this fact I was, at that moment, very conscious of what stage of the year we were in. Halloween. Late.

The year firmly on the

I was a little lost in contemplation of this fact. The usual combo of retrospection and introspection ensued. It was nothing too serious though, just a general acknowledgement of passing time that seems to pick up pace, commensurate with age, like a freight train clamoring through your life, gathering speed before finally coming to rest, somewhere upside down, not far from the twisted tracks at the peak of your mid-life crisis.

But I had not reached hysteria yet. I was quietly forcing my slightly-too-big-waist into my wrestler's corset thing, oblivious to the turn my night was about to take. Then I heard it. Bells. Christmas bells. They were jingling in a rhythm suspiciously like a Christmas carol. The familiar, snow-and-gingerbread-conjuring-melody (yes, even though I am Australian and we celebrate Christmas in the middle of summer) was coming from the television.

Standing there, glaring at the television screen - which was actually a little obscured by my mask - I could make out the annoying, ridiculously white smiles of a happy family wearing red beanies with white pom-poms on their crests. The Father appeared to be overjoyed with something or rather that had been revealed by his ferocious ripping and discarding of wrapping paper as he stood by a Christmas tree. It was the year's first Christmas themed TV commercial.

"What the fx&$?! It's the 26th of October. It's not Christmas. Give me a break. Come the f#@* on!" I screamed almost inaudibly through the tiny hole allocated as mouth access in my Luchador mask. While I laced up my red, white and green wrestler's head garb, I continued to mumble obscenities to myself like a mad woman. There were general, unclear admonishments toward advertisers, advertising creatives, marketers, consumers, capitalists, Prime Ministers and Presidents.

Another year had passed they were telling me. Not, "not quite" passed. It had passed. My mind began its journey toward blowing a fuse -- I am another year older. Oh my God! I'm another year older. What am I doing? Have I done enough? Can I do more? What will I do with the rest of my time? What do I need to achieve before the year is out? I haven't done half the things I wanted to do. Have my eggs shriveled up and died yet? The thoughts just started getting the better of me. Panic began to tingle in my legs, a sense of urgently needing to run from the house -- albeit in a Mexican wrestler's outfit -- “ screaming at strangers, "Quick! Quuuuuuiiiiicccck! We have to do something. Life is running out! My life is running out!" But I didn't.

Instead, I shed a couple of tears of frustration and tried to pick up my TV to throw it off the balcony. Fortunately, I couldn't lift it because after I'd calmed down, I realized that "Ugly Betty" was going to be on and, not having cable, I like to watch that show occasionally.

Tonight, as I passed by all those shop windows with frosted corners and bought a hot chocolate in a cafe playing "holiday" music (I adore Ella Fitzgerald, but not when she is being used as a weapon in the fight to expedite Christmas), I thought about the fact that, before we know it, we'll be able to buy Easter eggs all year round (actually that's not so bad), pink jewels will be peddled in pink, love-heart boxes sometime in March and cob-webs will start appearing in window displays sometime in May. I realize that, although my melt down is done, my utter resentment of jump-the-gun retailers and all their increased-profit margin, market research facts prevails. They can all go to hell on a red sleigh. But not with the reindeers - no need to drag them into it. Department stores are ruining my life.

About the Writer

V is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on Department Stores Are Stealing Time

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By Melisa88 on May 13, 2014 at 05:47 am

Ok it is amazing pozycjonowanie stron

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By Atena88 on May 26, 2014 at 04:09 am

In my opinion that is superb and pozycjonowanie too

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