Grief is probably one of the most painful emotions that we have to deal with as human beings. It is the kind of thing that never really heals completely, but it does get easier.

Sometimes grief is described as being inside a circle. When the event first happens, the circle is small, and every time you come up against an edge, your pain is triggered. But as time goes on the circle gets bigger, and you are not so restricted by the pain anymore. So how it is possible to get from being in a small circle to a larger one?

Process the original incident

When something traumatic occurs that results in grief like the loss of a loved one it's important to take some time to process the event. This can be very difficult to do. Partly because no one wants to think of the bad things that happen in life. Also when someone close to you dies, you can get very caught up with all the preparation for the funeral. It is often after this initial period of business that the actual feeling of grief and despair kicks in.

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That is why it's important to make sure that you continue to have the support of your family and friends even after the funeral. This will help you to have a safe space in which to process and talk about what has happened.

Counselling

Some people find that going to grief counselling is helpful in expanding the circle from small to big. Grief counselling provides a space where you can express your emotions both positive and negative. It also gives you support for someone objective outside of your friends and family struggle. This is helpful as many people find it hard to grieve because they feel that they are bringing their loved ones down.

Justice

Another aspect to widening the circle of grief is gaining justice for the victim. If your loved one died as a result of someone else action or inaction, then it is possible that you can bring charges or claim against them.

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For example, those with loved ones lost in an automobile accident may make a fatal car crash claim. While those that passed due to medical negligence would make a malpractice claim.

Forgiveness

One of the most essential aspects of widening the circle of grief is forgiveness. When someone dies unexpectedly, there can be a deluge of emotions such as anger, hurt, and loneliness as well as grief. The person grieving can find it hard to forgive the person that has passed for a mistake that there are no longer around to rectify. They can also feel the additional guilt of having these very normal reactions. Again counselling is the best place to express these feelings and let them go.

Remembrance

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Lastly, once the circle of grief has become wider and the pain is a little easier to bear, it is important to factor in some time for remembrance. Despite the pain being so bad, it can often feel like all we have left of the person that is no longer with us. That is why it's essential to have some regular time to go over all the good memories that you had with them.