Sunday, May 26, 2019

Stupid Laws

by gt281 (writer), State of Denial, February 29, 2012

The true value of ‘Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,’ can always be found in the annuals of laws enacted by our duly elected officials…

In Wisconsin it is illegal to keep Limburger in the refrigerator, it must be kept in the freezer.

In Hawaii you can not get a boat license without first praying to the island God Kallimaininhapanoyno.

In San Francisco it is illegal to serve white wine in a common water glass, it must be served in a long stemmed wine glass purchased from Italian jewelry stores.

In Virginia it is against the law to pee on a Confederate headstone, but it is legal to piss on a Yankee (living or dead).

In Florida you are required to purchase a handicapped parking permit whether you are handicapped or not. This is due to the fact that all parking spaces in Florida are marked ‘handicapped’.

In California it is illegal to eat snails, without first having graduated from a French cooking school.

In New Jursey it is illegal to use rat tails to clean your ears while dinning.

In Washington DC it is illegal to tell the truth, unless you’re under the age of five.

In Louisiana and some parts of Mississippi you will be fined a maximum of $500 should you lose your hand to an alligator, because you ignored all the signs that say don’t feed the alligators.

In Detroit it is illegal to drive a Peugeot or a car with the steering wheel on the wrong side.

In Nevada you can not name your horse or your first born son ‘Wilbur’.

In Boston you are not allowed to wear the British ‘Union Jack’ on any part of your body, this is a flogging offense.

In Texas you are required to make a pilgrimage to Texas stadium at least once every three years and pray for the Cowboys to win another Superbowl while kneeling before the Southern goalpost.

In Southern California it is required for all Mexicans to repeat the phrase ‘green cards, we don’t need no stinking green cards’ in English at least three times before they are allowed to buy liquor.

In Iowa it is illegal to sell cucumbers as adult woo-woo toys.

In Minnesota it is illegal for women under the age of 26 to wear a bra during the winter months.

In Puerto Rico, you must be registered either as a ‘jet’ or a ‘shark’ and your car can not be any newer than a 1968 model.

In Bel-Air you can only get dog licenses for poodles.

In North Dakota, all belt buckles must measure 5”x 4”.

In Alaska it is illegal to write your name in the snow while peeing when it is -20 degrees out.

In Maine it is illegal to have sex with a moose, unless it’s dead.

In Rhode Island it is illegal to put cranberries up your nose and jump around like a chicken.

In Las Vegas it is illegal to fart while at a poker table.

In North Carolina it is illegal to marry your sister, unless the best man carries a shotgun. In South Carolina no shotgun is required.

In Nebraska if you hit a cow while driving down the highway you can be fined $150 for littering.

In Fort Lauderdale if you are eaten by a shark while swimming, you have to pay the county for the cleanup of the beach.

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5 comments on Stupid Laws

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By Ashlyn Johnson on June 10, 2015 at 01:09 am

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