266 results for 'sex'
... online dating service. I am not a cold-hearted bitch or anything but my breakup theory has always been "the time you spend mourning over your old boyfriend is time you steal from your new boyfriend." And so the week that I was supposed to be eating boxes of milk chocolates and watching re-runs of Sex and the City, I was busy typing away.
I always thought love is something you shouldn't have to pay for, especially sixty bucks a month (I would have got a much better deal if I signed up for a year but I have commitment issues). But I decided it was worth it given the... (more)
... art and theatre. And now LA-LA Land is turning heads with its newest cultural innovation – a vending machine that dispenses pot.
This amazing city, the place that popularized the fast food drive-through, edible underpants, eight-headed vibrators (aka “The Hydra”), phone sex and microwave chimichungas-- has a new invention that will set the world of 420 on its noggin -- 24-hour medical-marijuana vending machines.
Patients suffering from chronic pain, loss of appetite, annoying in-laws, nosy neighbors and other ailments that marijuana is said to alleviate can ... (more)
Then why should a child who is no longer an infant continue to suck his thumb?
When the child is tired, hungry, cold, bored, wet, or otherwise stressed, thumb-sucking becomes a “pleasure center” activity—just like exercising, eating, or sex (for adults)—that produces endorphins, the chemicals that bring on pleasure, relaxation, and a sense of well-being. The message in the child’s brain is, “When I suck my thumb, all is well. Even if I’m not getting any food, I can do something that equates to food”... (more)
...you were abused as a child and you believe that entitles you to live as a leech on society? To those of you who were abused and are reading this, I’m sorry for your past, but you need to get over it, stop wallowing in it, get off your ass and turn that into a positive. If you were sexually assaulted as a boy by a priest, quit trying to convince me that the experience “made you gay”. That’s a bunch of horse hockey. Being sexually assaulted by a same-sex adult doesn’t make you gay any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. You were... (more)
...what’s so great about farts if they’re done right - resistance is futile. I knew how to do them right.
Some have asked whether farters are born or made. In my case it was a mysterious phenomenon, like being kidnapped by space aliens and then finding you have ESP, or having sex with Satan in a dream-like reverie, then waking up to find that you’re with child.
I never passed more gas than the average grease ball until I spent a year in Baton Rouge, Louisiana as a college freshman. I drank the coffee they make there with a roasted tree bark called chicory.... (more)
...left the sect when I was five, while my uncle and cousins remained members for the next 20 years. I obsessively follow any press that the group gets. While watching CNN’s “Anderson Cooper 360” report detailing Rodriguez’s death and the group’s well-known child sex practices, Anderson said, “Well, that has nothing to do with Jesus!” This is how the public has always reacted to the COG.
It’s upsetting and so it’s dismissed outright as not actually Christian. It’s a quick effort to make sense of it. That is how we... (more)
...single shoppers, but the possibility of tying the knot recedes ever more, as our bulging waistlines make it much more difficult to meet our match beneath the Hawaiian sea salt chips and dips. Indeed, the 750ml bottle only policy also impedes our chances, for it is a fact that when the opposite sex sees those big bottles in our carts, they immediately (possibly as a result of a Learning Annex course) assume we will sip it with a significant other.
I predict that if you introduced reasonably priced half-bottles, Trader Joe's would become renowned not only for good victuals, but as a ... (more)
Ballroom dance is not as gloriously depicted on Dancing With The Stars. It's dirty little secret is that men do ballroom dance for sex and money and women do it to get a husband. With more than a dozen women for every male, the odds favor the men. Men quickly figure it out and soon sleep with every woman there, successfully playing on her hopes of snagging a husband. That's not just the single men, so do the married men. Like a condemned woman, she seizes for her hope any man. Therefore, women advertise that if a man doesn't have something nice to say about his wife, "come dance with... (more)
...as swallowing the week old bathwater of a female dog in heat. The best thing to go to a bar for is the liquor. I'm not talking about brandy, bourbon, whisky or sherry. I'm talking about the good stuff, like a shot of tequila or vodka. I'm talking about mixed drinks like a dirty martini, sex on the beach, even a Cosmo. With beer you have to follow rules. You canâ€™t mix beers and have it taste good. Dark beer should not be mixed with light. The smell is as appetizing as sweat from a camelâ€™s rump. With liquor you use your imagination or have someone else use theirs.... (more)
... worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences, and think about them. On top of my list is "Age", but it is there only because it starts with an "A": the second is "Color" or shade, there is intelligence, size, sex, size of plantations, status on plantation, attitude of owners, whether the slave live in the valley, on hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, coarse hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences. I shall give you an outline of action-but before that I shall assure ... (more)