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Saturday, December 16, 2017

213 results for 'relationships'

Nouveau Rick

By alan handwerger, published on Feb 9, 2010

There they stood: marvels of modern mansion design. Eight thousand square foot houses sitting on ten thousand square foot lots.

“I’d hate to be a gardener around here,” I remarked.

“Please, don’t start,” said Lorrie.

Might as well have told me not to breathe.

“Is that their house?”

The Santini’s house was situated smack dab in the middle of a pristine cul-de-sac that had been designed to accommodate five other homes of similar scale. Two of these homes, a French manor and an English Tudor, were already standing. Two others were under construction.

... (more)

Tags: humor, relationships, wine, new money, social gatherings, parties, pretension

Seeking Soul Mate

By Lumiere, published on Feb 4, 2010

... Imaginatively, the scene captured what I believe most people long for at heart, a connection that allows them to be seen for the beauty of their soul, recognized and loved regardless of the outer shell.

"Most people have more than one soul mate. You may already be in several soul mate relationships with friends and loved ones. A soul mate can come in the form of a life partner, treasured friend, child, or lover. A soul mate can be someone with whom you share a spiritual path, a joint work in the world, or a commitment to be parents to certain souls. It can be someone whose growth you... (more)

Tags: love, relationships, connections, soul, valentines, soulmates, twin flames

A Face That Longed for a Custard Pie

By alan handwerger, published on Jan 22, 2010

The week that we moved to Stowe, Vermont, the featured crime in the “Police Blotter” of the Stowe Reporter had read: “Woman reports that someone entered her pasture and braided the manes and tails of all of her horses.” Ever since that first week, so very many years ago, it has been my dream to headline in the “Blotter”.

It is not difficult to find one’s way into the police blotter. In a town with two roads, fifteen policemen and over thirty bars, a significant percentage of the local population has appeared as recipients of DUIs. But it was not as a drunk that I hoped one day to... (more)

Tags: humor, relationships, cream pie, roald dahl, retaliation, stowe, vermont, stowe reporter

Talking Bear Speaks

By alan handwerger, published on Jan 14, 2010

Every once in a while the clash between my wife Lorrie’s need for quiet and my need to be heard will rear its ugly head, causing her to flee the house for a period of time lasting anywhere from ten minutes to however long it takes to drive to the nearest movie theater, watch a movie, take herself out for a drink and a burger, and return to the nest. Last night she went to see “There Will Be Blood.”

“I’m home,” she gave the all-clear signal at about eleven. But as I have my pride; and as I was just then in the middle of a particularly gripping section of the page-turner I was reading... (more)

Tags: humor, relationships, short story, cultural anthropology

Short Staffed

By TheGuysPerspective, published on Jan 12, 2010

I love going to the bank in my town. The obvious reason is, it makes me happy to deposit money. But the behind the scenes reason is, the young women working there are very friendly and quite cute. After I leave, my day is just a little better.

I don’t keep secrets from my wife. Even if I tried, I’m terrible at deception. She thinks my bank forays are funny. She rolls her eyes when I say I’m going to do errands. She knows this includes a visit to my favorite brick and mortar institution. But she also knows I’m invisible to the young cuties. I know this too. No matter how cool I try to... (more)

Tags: relationships, guys, overwhelmed, short staffed, excuse, bank

Career Daters

By Mia D., published on Dec 28, 2009

...than anything, disappointing. I do believe these sites were launched for a purpose, they have thrived for another alltogether, and have become a part of our culture because just like so much in our society, we have found one another, this quest for love and companionship and even long-term relationships, disposable. However, that is not the impression made upon a lonely single who turns on the television and bears witness to the commercials geared towards other like-minded souls. EHarmony and Match.com have made a killing on the promise of finding one's true love, so as long as singles... (more)

Tags: relationships, internet dating, personal ads

The Girls

By Gurmeet Mattu, published on Dec 25, 2009

Sharon pursed her lips and said, “My boss said he thought I was a trumpet.”Eleanor nodded sagely. “I think he meant strumpet.”Sharon pulled back from her cup. “What’s that then?”“It’s like a slapper,” then noticing Sharon’s fraught look, “only more classy.”Sharon’s lower lip drooped and she took another sip from her coffee. “I’m not a slapper. I’m a ..a .. flirt.”Eleanor smiled. “Oh no, Shaz, you’re much more than that. Even I can flirt occasionally, depending on the guy, but you go to places I’d fear to tread.”Sharon took time digesting this, along with the last of her dessert. Eventually... (more)

Tags: sex, relationships, daughters, mothers, reputations

Division of Labor

By TheGuysPerspective, published on Dec 18, 2009

My wife and I have our own “bank” accounts. These are not the typical accounts that hold money, but they are vitally important to our grand partnership. We call them our "Division of Labor" accounts. These accounts don’t build slowly over time as one would think, but they rise and fall dramatically with each day. But let me not get ahead of myself. I need to go back in time and explain how our bank accounts came to be. Back to a time when the concept of "Division of Labor" didn’t even exist for us.

Infatuation. We meet at a party. We fall in love, kind of. One of us thinks the timing... (more)

Tags: relationships, chores, domestic duties, division of labor

How About an Anti-Social Network

By alan handwerger, published on Dec 16, 2009

I heard on the T.V. this morning that if Facebook were a country, it would be the sixth largest country in the world, a tidbit that sent me racing through cyberspace for data. Within milliseconds I found what I was looking for. Facebook, were it a country, would have a population somewhere between that 153,546,048 and 172,800,048, these two figures being the populations of Bangladesh and Pakistan, currently the seventh and sixth largest countries, respectively. I could flaunt my cheaply got knowledge by giving you the headcounts in China, India, the U.S., Indonesia, and Brazil; but to what... (more)

Tags: facebook, humor, relationships, social networks, memoir, snubster

Every Dog Has Her Day

By alan handwerger, published on Dec 11, 2009

I let Emma, my dog, take me for a walk this morning. Well, actually, we started this morning and got back late this afternoon.

This doesn’t happen often, as it requires both that I be in a really good mood and have plenty of time on my hands. In fact, this was the first time that I’ve let Emma walk me in a couple of years.

When I walk Emma, there are rules: I choose our route and, while I do allow her to stop and sniff whatever treasures, visible and invisible, she may find along the way, I impose time limits, anywhere from five to ten seconds per sniffing episode.

When... (more)

Tags: humor, relationships, dogs, memoir

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