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Saturday, October 21, 2017

53 results for 'parenting'

Are You Sure You're My Kid?

By melanie jean juneau, published on Dec 13, 2012

This picture of our cat nursing orphaned baby bunnies with her own kittens symbolizes how I often felt about my own children. The expression on the mother cat's face is priceless because she seems completely baffled.

"Who are you? Where on earth did you come from?"

All my nine children had the same parents, lived in the same environment and ate the same food but each child inherited not only different physical genes but different character traits as well. This gene pool is larger than I ever imagined it could be.

The differences between my children are mind-boggling.... (more)

Tags: parenting, humour, children are unique

Combatting Childhood Obesity

By Ely North, published on Dec 5, 2012

Dear Ely,

I got beef with childhood obesity – it’s ruining my life. My son is a bona fide fat-ass. He’s only ten years old and he already weighs almost 200 pounds. His boobs are bigger than mine! It’s gross. He’s revolting to behold, and I’m concerned for his health. He never gets any exercise, and he only eats fast food and junk food. I’ve tried to guide him into healthier habits, but when he doesn’t get what he wants he throws a fit and sits on me. Once he actually broke my rib. I’m scared of the fat little monster, so I constantly give in and continue to enable his... (more)

Tags: humor, parenting, advice, obesity, lose weight, childhood obesity, fat

Sports Time

By Kire Sdyor, published on Sep 6, 2012

Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Washington Irving used moving through time as plot devices without ever adding the science to the fiction. In movies and TV, heroes and villains move through time in order to right wrongs, save loved ones, make ridiculous sums of money, or remove their arch nemesis before they become a problem. Einstein, Hawking, and Sagan all weighed in on the practical science and problems for true time travel. Apparently James (Age 9) has been giving it a little thought himself...James: "Is time travel possible?"Dad: "Most people don't believe so but there are those that... (more)

Tags: humor, parenting, family, children, funny

Christmas in September

By Kire Sdyor, published on Sep 2, 2012

Those who no longer believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or living under the rules of their parents homes travel to a magical land full of wonder and discovery. Allston, Massachusetts. Once there they'll be unburdened by curfews, set dinner times, and chores. They'll be free to sleep until dark, consume ridiculous amounts of alcohol, and throw parties every night. They will truly be free. At least until the second week of the month when they need to attend school, or the third week of the month when they have no money for food, or the last week of the month when they have no money for... (more)

Tags: humor, parenting, family, children, funny

Bad mother, useless human being

By Annabelle Charbit, published on Aug 25, 2012

...angel with so much untapped potential and feel deeply that I don't deserve her. Yet I also feel like the luckiest person in the world to have been blessed with such a loving child. I only hope that years from now, she can forgive all my inadequacies. To this day I'll never understand why parenting is treated like a second rate job. As someone who enjoyed a thriving career as a neuroscientist, I can honestly say that parenting is the hardest job I've ever had to endure. For those who still don't get it, every day is like climbing a mountain carrying a back pack pack full of rocks.... (more)

Tags: parenting, bad mother, bad parent

That's The Ticket

By Kire Sdyor, published on Aug 18, 2012

Usually it takes being hit in the head three or four times before I get a great idea and by then someone else has thought of it. Today's great idea is for a claim check ticket for your smart phone where just handing over your car, coat, or kid and then tapping your phone on the counter gives you a virtual ticket to retrieve them. Why do you need a virtual ticket, you say? It's not like you ever going to lose the paper one...Kire: "I lost the claim ticket."Ann: "What does that mean?"Kire: "It means I don't know where the claim ticket is."Ann: "But what does that mean?"Kire: "I guess it means... (more)

Tags: humor, parenting, family, children, funny

Put a Contract Out on Your Contractor

By Kire Sdyor, published on Aug 13, 2012

Everything is a deal to be made. Want to watch TV? You'll need you to clean the living room first. Ice Cream after dinner? Sure, but the rubbish must taken out beforehand. All my kids have learned this vital skill to one extent or another and strike a deal whenever possible. None do it quite as well as James (Age 9). I think he must read books on the side with titles like Tony Soprano's Guide to Negotiation or I'm the Don, and You Can Be Too. James always makes you an offer you can't refuse...James: "Dad, I wish to discuss my previously agreed upon chore."Dad: "You mean moving those... (more)

Tags: humor, parenting, family, children, funny

Manlycure

By Kire Sdyor, published on Aug 12, 2012

This is especially true of James (Age 9). So when he turned in his chipped nails and dirty hands for a more pampered look, I knew there had to be a story behind it...James: "I got a manicure and a panicure today."Dad: "So you got your nails and...hold on. What's a panicure?"James: "When they clean up your toe nails."Dad: "That's a pedicure."James: "Alright, so I got a manicure and a pedicure today."Dad: "Why?"James: "It looked like fun. They wash your feet and everything. Look at these fingers. Did you know there's a white part at the bottom of your fingernails. Feel how smooth my hands... (more)

Tags: humor, parenting, family, children, funny

Ex-Gay Controversy: You Don't Need Permission to Change

By Thom Hunter, published on Jul 24, 2012

It was in a summer in the '60s in the steamy hot apartment-laden suburb of Houston that I first became aware that change was actually sometimes in you and of you, and not just something others did to you. Up to that point, change had been dependent upon a parent's whim or job, or the ebb and flow of family income. We might live in a house with a nice big yard and a barking dog . . . or an apartment that opened on a cigarette-butt-laden parking lot with a stray cat peering from the stairs.Change was constant, but it was something to which I adapted, redrawing personal boundaries, accepting gains... (more)

Tags: religion, christianity, gay, parenting, love, relationships, culture, homosexuality, lust, lgbt, ex-gay, pornography addiction, exodus international

Home, Home on the Range

By Kire Sdyor, published on Jul 4, 2012

How great it is when on day two of summer vacation they turn to you and say, "We're bored. Can we go to the driving range?"

Dad: "Stand with your feet closer together, it's not hockey."

James (Age 9): "But I'm awesome at hockey. Can we go hit balls from up on the top deck?"

Dad: "No."

James: "Why."

Dad: "You chase the balls onto the range if they don't go far enough. You'll run right off the top deck. Olympia, your picking your head up."

Olympia (Age 13): "I like to see what's going on."

Dad: "How exactly do you put a divet in the rubber... (more)

Tags: humor, parenting, family, children, funny

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