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Monday, November 20, 2017

159 results for 'humor'

Librarians

By randomjo, published on Jan 29, 2012

Shhhh!

Librarians don't shout...

they throw books and shoot stern looks at those who disrupt the status quostudious lenses signal those in the know, secret deviant proclivities almost show, like a slip under a pencil skirtslap you on the wristwith just the right amount of pain to make it hurttight like the bun at the back of her neck

I don't know what you've heard lately,but that little lady is a naughty nerdof all the things you want to give her the most important is respect

 (more)

Tags: humor, library, books, discipline, librarians, naughty, cheeky poetry, quiet, sound control

Porn, Prophylactics and Pajamas

By Richard Cahill, published on Jan 29, 2012

The ugly thing about democracy is that there are only three ways for politicians to get the public's attention and consequently their votes. The first is to build us something (a nice bridge) or give us something (unemployment checks, free health care). This costs money, so taxes get raised, the voters get disenchanted and other pols get elected. This makes actually accomplishing something the most perilous (for them) way for politicians to stay on our radar.The second way is to make us afraid of something, and to claim that only the election of a certain candidate will prevent the destruction... (more)

Tags: humor, condoms, politicians

Madman in the Mirror: a Novel by A.J. Gallant

By Wrp68, published on Dec 4, 2011

...the mirror before he could even walk. He saw terrible things in that mirror, and now in fact the man in the mirror talks to him. He was never shown affection of any kind and driven insane at a young age. Henry has a difficult time forming relationships with anyone, especially the opposite sex. Humorous conditions arise as he’s like a whale in a small pool, his fractured mind simply doesn’t fit.

It’s only when Henry takes a golden retriever pup from an abusive teen that he feels affection for the first time in his life. The dog does wonders for his self-worth. It makes him... (more)

Tags: humor, romance, murder, paranormal, demons, ebook, afterlife, madman in the mirror

Pistol Packin' Me

By Marcy Lynne, published on Dec 3, 2011

Well I did something different today. I went to the firing range with my husband. First time for me, second time for him. This is the same husband who, until the age of 67, had never held a gun in his hand. I had hoped he never would. He is, after all, Sicilian, and I have always had a bad feeling about the combination of guns and Sicilians.

How did we get here? Well, it began with a nasty neighbor who repeatedly "let us know" that he had a case full of automatic weapons in his condo. Upstairs from us. Oh goody. The guy was six-foot three, thirty-something, ex-Marine, often... (more)

Tags: shooting, humor, guns

Seduction of the Gentleman

By Uttam Gill, published on Nov 30, 2011

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." If the gentleman needs to be defined as gentleman he must be different from others. He must be nicely dressed for the occasion, humble, respectful and well groomed.

No matter what the provocation or temptation there is he keeps his image untarnished amidst all chaos around. He holds all the temptation at bay. While at a party he respectfully and gracefully conducts himself with those of the opposite sex. If lady smiles at him he should smile back and with a stiff neck look around those scanning eyes pretending ignorance.

... (more)

Tags: humor, story, seduction, gentleman

Underneath the Jeans

By Marcy Lynne, published on Nov 25, 2011

You know what I just realized? I look a lot younger with my clothes on.

I may be on the north side of 50, but in a well-fitting pair of jeans and a hoodie, I feel downright collegiate. Because underneath the jeans it's all a mystery. Underneath the jeans I could have smooth, even-toned skin, or I might even have a tan. (Not to mention that my legs might be shaved.) Underneath the shirt I might have washboard abs and perky boobs. I might have underarm skin that does not swing to and fro. Who's to say? And this is one reason I enjoy a nice cool day like today here in Florida when I can... (more)

Tags: humor, jeans, young, boomer

Bran Power

By Marcy Lynne, published on Nov 5, 2011

I make these bran muffins. They are, well... therapeutic... as well as quite delicious. I have tried various recipes over the years, beginning with a recipe that used regular bran flakes cereal as the main ingredient. They were nice muffins. But my current version, uses the kind of bran cereal that contains FOURTEEN grams of fiber per half cup serving. They are little sticks of dynamite in a box. I call the new resulting muffins my WMD's.

One day, back when I first started making these muffins, our air conditioning guy (who is also a friend of ours) happened to be here at the house doing... (more)

Tags: humor, funny, bran, bran muffins

My Future Letter of Retirement

By Miranda, published on Oct 27, 2011

To My Amazing Children,

MeMe, Butch, Bruiser & Brody October 1, 2028

First off let me begin by saying Happy 18th birthday Brody. It seems like only yesterday you were struggling to breathe and they were wheeling you off to the NICU while I was still in surgery. I was very worried but we were in an amazing hospital with the best Doctors around. We were in good hands. It was a long 6 days but with my emotional melt down in front of the staff after they told us I was being released and sent home 45 minutes away while you stay... (more)

Tags: humor, family, creative writing

Top 5 Reasons Why Birthdays Are Awesome - Especially Mine!

By Felicia Stevenson, published on Oct 25, 2011

Reason #1

You get to be King/Queen for the day. Even though I will be 33 this year, my mother still makes me ANY meal of my choosing. I usually ask for home-made egg rolls or a turkey dinner. My mom's home-made egg rolls are the best damn egg rolls I've ever tasted, hands down. I'm actually starting to drool as I think of them... Moooom, I think I know what I want for dinner this year!

Reason # 2

People are nice to you and show you love all day long, every where you go. Granted, of course, that they know it's your birthday, but I've found that wearing an "it's my birthday"... (more)

Tags: humor, entertainment, birthday, alcohol, funny, presents, drinking, list, turkey, top 5, singing, egg rolls

Eating Fried Chicken in Eureka Springs, Arkansas

By Kenneth Weene, published on Oct 9, 2011

I've been spending a few weeks in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. That's in the northwest corner of the state, where the Ozarks meet WalMart. I'm at the Writers' Colony, a place where authors can go to just write, to just have the freedom to create. Of course nobody can create twenty-four seven, especially when they like to eat out as much as I. The area is a veritable nirvana of fried chicken and barbeque. There's also some great Italian and wondrous cobbler. Let's put it this way: the food in Eureka is so good that I can even forgive the occasional use of Velveta.

Like many tourist places,... (more)

Tags: humor, writing, fried chicken, arkansas

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