159 results for 'humor'
Between the untimely crying, and occasional forced laughing—often mingled with more crying—everyone can see that I take center stage. I wear a double-sided painted face—a smile and a frown. I am the main attraction!
And nobody says anything to me, no sir-ree; I think they wouldn’t dare—my being menopausal and all. But if they could, they’d surely have plenty to say, and with good reason. No-one knows from one freakin’ minute to the next what mood I’ll be in or just who to expect to see: Me or the Banshee. Why…even I never know what mood I’ll find me in, or to what side of the bed I’ll... (more)
The joys of making a trip to the park.
There are dome creepy looking people and some that look pleasant.
Families playing ball with their kids, couples having picnics or just holding hands while they stroll along, some taking rides in carriages, squirrels jumping around and who knew birds eat ice cream?
I had the honor of sharing my cone with one bird and apparently he went, told the others and an army came down next to me.
As for that squirrel, he used me for the nuts on the ice cream, then as soon as he got them all he ran away:)
Then there are the dog walkers:... (more)
Phillip worked at BP Amoco for the past seven years as an Assistant Manager, was very good at his job and loved by all except everyone knew that when Phillip got drunk he would reveal all secrets about everyone who confided in him and so everyone learned to be discreet when Phillip was around.
Phillip was intelligent as well as very handsome. He was six feet tall, muscular, yellow skinned with brown curly hair, small, green eyes, a narrow nose and small, full, pinkish lips. He spoke with a British accent; the words were clear and his voice soft.
All the young ladies at the office... (more)
Charlie had guessed from the very beginning that there was something odd about the Brown family. The Browns’ had moved into the village four months ago with their two girl children and no one knew their real names except to be called “ The Brown’s” because it was written on their post box.
Charlie, Sam and Joey were present to witness the moving in of their new neighbors. Mr. and Mrs. Brown were both about five feet four inches in height but their weight we could not tell because the Brown’s wore long robes and each one had their head tied. Mr. Brown had a brown complexion, round... (more)
“As Clara turned the corner, she saw him,” Billy-Ray Neilson; the guy who newly came to live in the neighborhood. Billy had been living in this district for the past two months and he was the talk of the town. Everyone spoke about how handsome and quiet he was but Clara never saw him until today.
Billy was indeed very handsome. He was about six feet; slim built, of brown complexion and black, curly, short hair. His face was oval with brown eyes, a small narrow nose and thin, pink lips. As they passed each other on the pavement, eye contact was made and both smiled. Billy smelt of... (more)
Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Washington Irving used moving through time as plot devices without ever adding the science to the fiction. In movies and TV, heroes and villains move through time in order to right wrongs, save loved ones, make ridiculous sums of money, or remove their arch nemesis before they become a problem. Einstein, Hawking, and Sagan all weighed in on the practical science and problems for true time travel. Apparently James (Age 9) has been giving it a little thought himself...James: "Is time travel possible?"Dad: "Most people don't believe so but there are those that... (more)
Those who no longer believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or living under the rules of their parents homes travel to a magical land full of wonder and discovery. Allston, Massachusetts. Once there they'll be unburdened by curfews, set dinner times, and chores. They'll be free to sleep until dark, consume ridiculous amounts of alcohol, and throw parties every night. They will truly be free. At least until the second week of the month when they need to attend school, or the third week of the month when they have no money for food, or the last week of the month when they have no money for... (more)
Usually it takes being hit in the head three or four times before I get a great idea and by then someone else has thought of it. Today's great idea is for a claim check ticket for your smart phone where just handing over your car, coat, or kid and then tapping your phone on the counter gives you a virtual ticket to retrieve them. Why do you need a virtual ticket, you say? It's not like you ever going to lose the paper one...Kire: "I lost the claim ticket."Ann: "What does that mean?"Kire: "It means I don't know where the claim ticket is."Ann: "But what does that mean?"Kire: "I guess it means... (more)
Everything is a deal to be made. Want to watch TV? You'll need you to clean the living room first. Ice Cream after dinner? Sure, but the rubbish must taken out beforehand. All my kids have learned this vital skill to one extent or another and strike a deal whenever possible. None do it quite as well as James (Age 9). I think he must read books on the side with titles like Tony Soprano's Guide to Negotiation or I'm the Don, and You Can Be Too. James always makes you an offer you can't refuse...James: "Dad, I wish to discuss my previously agreed upon chore."Dad: "You mean moving those... (more)
This is especially true of James (Age 9). So when he turned in his chipped nails and dirty hands for a more pampered look, I knew there had to be a story behind it...James: "I got a manicure and a panicure today."Dad: "So you got your nails and...hold on. What's a panicure?"James: "When they clean up your toe nails."Dad: "That's a pedicure."James: "Alright, so I got a manicure and a pedicure today."Dad: "Why?"James: "It looked like fun. They wash your feet and everything. Look at these fingers. Did you know there's a white part at the bottom of your fingernails. Feel how smooth my hands... (more)