159 results for 'humor'
A few weeks ago, I took on the bevy of men's magazines that seem to offer up the same needless and ill-considered advice month after month - and while I had previously believed that we were the only gender so easily duped by glossy pages, catchy prose and the promise of the company of the uber-attractive, it turns out I was wrong. Women's magazines seem to have been in abundant supply for much, much longer than their male counterparts. Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Elle, Marie Claire and more seem to have been on the newsstands as long as there have been newsstands. But, as it turns out, the... (more)
Scientists at Florida State University believe they've found a gene that predicts a person's likelihood of becoming a gang member. The discovery of the ‘gangster gene’ is hailed by human right activists, who vow to challenge our socially unjust legal system, and reverse cases where gang members were sentenced for crimes committed by their genes.
Scientist are still perplexed by the origin of the gene that together with its cousin, the Obesity Gene (discovered in the UK in 2007), seem to have materialized in the US and the rest of the western world out of nowhere – in contradiction to... (more)
I had no idea how widespread this problem really was until I casually posted on Facebook about my frustration with a day of receiving particularly bad grammar. This innocuous action touched off a firestorm of commiserating comments from friends with dozens of examples that were much more egregious than the ones I had cited. In this era of real-time spell checking and centuries of grammar expertise literally at our fingertips, writing like a poorly educated first grader seems more inexcusable than ever. I'm the first to espouse the virtues of forgiveness, but at some point, enough is enough.Like... (more)
Do I plan to run for school board again? Inquiring minds want to know. Whether this is owing to the strength of my convictions or the unintended entertainment value that seems to attend my campaigns I couldn’t say.
There is a history here. When we moved to Stowe, Vermont, we didn’t know a soul in town other than our realtor. I was working in Montreal at the time. I only mention this because my status as a weekend resident contributed to the fact that after six months in Stowe I still only knew a handful of people.
Lorrie already knew a whole slew of people through her involvement... (more)
...Craigslist of all places.
But wait there was more—specifically, "other important qualities". Oh boy!
"Other important qualities are initiative, creativity, artistic talent, imagination, enthusiasm, the ability to do research work, research previous adverts, energy, a sense of humor, an interest in society, a good general knowledge of facts, fashion, religion, animation, computer technology, music, history, language, psychology, politics, a weird imagination, popular taste and a knowledge of culture ..."
I was doing okay until I got to "a good general knowledge of... (more)
February 16, 2010
Expect a long entry, today being a day wrought with sentiment. As of today, Lorrie and I have been happily married for four years, which, we both agree, is pretty good out of thirty-one.
Of our wedding day, I most remember three things: the soup course, the dessert, and the entrée. Lobster bisque -- the lobster meat diced so finely and uniformly, the liquid so silken -- as wondrous on the tongue as it was delicious going down.
Several hours later came dessert. On huge silver platters were set “clouds” of pink cotton candy, amidst which floated meringue... (more)
Oliver the cat is asleep on my head. His strong, steady purring causes a vibration in my cranium, numbing my brain. We are comfortable together.
It was not always this way between Oliver and me. When first we met, eight or nine years ago, Ollie’s only interest in me, and in the rest of the human race, was to assure us that if we came within ten feet of him, he would rip us to shreds with his claws and bite us with great fury. Odd behavior from an animal that was being fed fresh salmon twice a day.
This handsome, ferocious little tiger had entered our lives through the basement... (more)
As we all know, the real important things that Tiger Woods should have said yesterday were never even approached. So, here I am writing between the lines.
"Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Many of you in this room are my friends. Many of you in this room know me. Many of you have cheered for me or you've worked with me or you've supported me."
I stacked the room. "Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in."
I’m so sorry... (more)
...else would you call a book from a blog, "a boog"? Clever but no hook. Why should someone read the next sentence? See the issue here?Let's see. I know: "If it's good news, it must be someone else's" has been the hallmark of my mundane life, making Cranelegs Pond the Blook?a collection of odd, humorous observations?endearing to the many who share and feel my pain. Sounds good! The opening is Woody Allenish, but I'm not sure it crackles. There is a lot going on in that sentence.There is always brevity. Something like: "If it's good news, it must be someone else's" has been my life's credo.... (more)
There they stood: marvels of modern mansion design. Eight thousand square foot houses sitting on ten thousand square foot lots.
“I’d hate to be a gardener around here,” I remarked.
“Please, don’t start,” said Lorrie.
Might as well have told me not to breathe.
“Is that their house?”
The Santini’s house was situated smack dab in the middle of a pristine cul-de-sac that had been designed to accommodate five other homes of similar scale. Two of these homes, a French manor and an English Tudor, were already standing. Two others were under construction.... (more)