74 results for 'funny'
You get to be King/Queen for the day. Even though I will be 33 this year, my mother still makes me ANY meal of my choosing. I usually ask for home-made egg rolls or a turkey dinner. My mom's home-made egg rolls are the best damn egg rolls I've ever tasted, hands down. I'm actually starting to drool as I think of them... Moooom, I think I know what I want for dinner this year!
Reason # 2
People are nice to you and show you love all day long, every where you go. Granted, of course, that they know it's your birthday, but I've found that wearing an "it's my birthday"... (more)
His designs are shoe sculptures, and they are from another world, original, humurous and wonderfully imaginative.
Levi tells us that each design can take about a month to complete, and that prefers quality over quantity, no doubt the secret of his success.
His unique shoe designs, like the "Coffee time" shoe, have certainly made a "splash" in the fashion world. (hahaha)
Apparently, Lady Gaga has purchased pieces from Levi's collection, which doesn't surprise me at all, since she the first person who came to mind when I saw them!
I've always had a bit of a shoe fetish,... (more)
Some people have called our Chihuahua mix Ratdog ugly, but others say he’s endearing. There is a very fine line between gorgeous and hideous. Just look at some super models without makeup. My publisher Susan suggested that I enter Ratdog in the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest, held every year during the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma. This year is their 23rd annual and the first prize is $1,000, which comes with the coveted Ugly Trophy and a year-round modeling contract from House of Dog (which also comes with another $1,000!) It’s Ratdog’s chance to earn some money to pay us back for all the vet... (more)
Since it is common knowledge that Republicans hate the environment (Mother Earth and Mother Jones are held with the same contempt.) they might as well just admit to it. Oh it’s true. Not only do they just not care about our surroundings, they want to destroy them. They hate the environment!
I have actually been able to infiltrate the RNC (Republicans are kNown Criminals) and have uncovered astonishing information.
It is required of all registered Republicans that they sign an oath, in blood, that they will do their utmost on a daily basis, “Kill or... (more)
One of the most glorious things about modern pop culture is the speed with which it generates new ideas and abandons old ones. Pop doesn’t last long because it’s not supposed to, and as a result, it is a genre of content populated by things that burn quickly and bright, suffusing our everyday life - welcome or not - and then running off as briskly as they arrive. This pleasing cycle of brain candy is just the sort of thing that keeps the brains of the ADD generations satiated and fuels the information appetite of a society spoiled by the endless flow of the information superhighway.... (more)
As someone on the brink of first-time home ownership, I am keenly aware and even anxious about how to fill up my new house - especially since I’ve mostly lived in apartments for the last ten years or so. As opposed to apartment living, there is a veritable universe of options when it comes to things to populate a home with: furniture, appliances, decorations, etc. After watching years of Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous and Cribs, I have some very big ideas, and after living by myself for the past six years, some very strong preferences for the small stuff. But, in my searches... (more)
At present, there are two kinds of people in this country: people who use social media, and the incontinent. The age (or otherwise) excused from reliable bladder control notwithstanding, first MySpace and now Facebook have become as ubiquitously a part of our life as cell phones, DVDs and, unfortunately, Justin Bieber. This development means that the same internet which originally purported to be able to connect us all, is finally doing just that. And once we finally ditched the glitter-gasm spam-fest that MySpace devolved into (and left it for the tweens, permanently "aspiring"... (more)
I’m not a fan of facial hair. I’m not sure if it was my ten years in the Navy, my early childhood spent in the universally bad-hair 70’s, or simply my overexposure to “true crime” television programming, but in any case, I’ve always seen hairy faces as the hygienic equivalent of failing to wash your hands after going to the bathroom, and a reliable means for identifying the least desirable elements of society. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions to this rule, as I have plenty of good friends with facial hair who are neither felons, freaks or otherwise foul-smelling. But a quick... (more)
To be honest, I wouldn’t know “fall fashion” from its other seasonal counterparts, except that when it gets colder, I tend to put more clothes on. That being said, it seems that no matter how much advice is offered on what not to wear these days (i.e. a Google search of “what not to wear” yielded approx. 726,000 results), there seem to be more and more examples of people who either got dressed in the dark or let their pets/pre-adolescent children choose their clothes. I recently had an occasion to be at a grocery store near the middle of the day and it looked like everyone there had... (more)
...an unknown, humor is a tough sell. And I’m possibly the unknownest. Furthermore, to make matters worse, the stories I’ve written are about nothing. It’s the old Seinfeld bit. Try writing a one-page query to hook an agent on a manuscript about nothing. For example, me to agent, “We had a funny family dinner”; agent laughing hysterically, “Stop it! You’re killin’ me with this stuff!” You see what I mean? Mission impossible.
So I took another stab at the query. Moved stuff around. Took stuff out. Added a boatload of missing commas. Trimmed the cutesy stuff. And I did... (more)