549 results for 'riginal'
MY BOOFY IS LOST! RIGINAL.
My drug sniffer dog Boofy has gone missing. Please help me. His friends call him Boof. y? his tale was cut short by a humorless publisher.
Boofy has been credited with having the cognitive pungency of Donald T on a bad hair day. To his credit though, Donald, with the aid of political smelling/'shelling' the opposition salts, pipped Boof at the political post thus Boof did the Democratic thing, conceded defeat, and de tale and de telling of porkies. In doggie position bark Boof had this to pant pon his four- legged withdrawal from the political scream.... (more)
DON'T YOU JUST GET P....D OFF? RIGINAL.
Was talking to a dear friend of mine overseas when i happened to mention how my computer had gremlinised (another word for morphed evil?) into a diatribeical (sick?) ever- changing flat faced insolent disobedient electronic wanker of a machine.
Only to hear that she too logs onto a site only to have it flick over to some bloody idiotic scamming induced alternative site. And don't try to tell me it's for the lack of maintenance and or AVG input. I won't have it. Simply because AVG does on occasion pop up and say stuff like "this site contains... (more)
Is the four- hundred- year- old PHANTOM going out of his skull? RIGINAL.
My mobile watch received an urgent Tom Tom. The stuttering Tom Tom message was terse. "Tom Tom here, the Phantom having a devil- of- a- time. The only shrink's on the island of Bangalia are those who are bereft of leather couches and prefer to light up a cauldron and shrink those with large emotional problems to 'bite size' problematic cognitive morsels.
The masked avenger is perhaps not as mentally disturbed as a numbnuts Presidential candidate with scarcely controlled more hair than flair complete with... (more)
FLABULOUS FUTURE. RIGINAL
Working in the year 3000 was punishable by death. The crowd sipped adrenaline pulse backup assisted, in the Coliseum of Sloth.
Dubbed roars erupted. Bill, the first human being under the new D classification, jogged around Flab, the giant executioner.
Flab cursed, fumbled with the heavy laser cleaver. Dropped it. The crowd leaned forward, gently. They started to chant. "Kill the bastard...off with his impudent working class head! Kill Bill!"
Flab grunted, pressed the unfamiliar laser cleaver inset. The blade ray ejected. Flab was sweating... (more)
THE INTRUDER. riginal.
Decided to write something serious. After all, doesn't Social Mania demand that we all pursue a chosen path (whether you like it or not?) of social interaction whereupon we have to embrace and love one another until death of the Internet do us part? Let me ask a simple question. If the Internet died tomorrow, what in heavens name would we all do for goodness sake? I mean would people's fingers become obese from lack of articulated expression thus depriving the world of our opinions, our very reason for existence? Would we survive? Would we have the strength to... (more)
THE GOOD THE BARD AND THE CUDDLY. RIGINAL.
Every essay company worth their bro flog freebie overpriced crappola knows what a mondegreen is so i won't insult their intelligence (their indiscretional rampart flogging of rancid spiel and stupid 'piggyback' comments precedes and reinforces their ignorance.) So bite me. Now now, don't run away you "duh" commentators. You can crassitate your stupidity and sell replica "duhs" at the end of my mondegreen. Or, you can soak in the well of your waterlogged thinly disguised true intent of "duhring" 'genuine' site abiding writers senseless! I mean... (more)
SHOULD HERMITS ON THE DOLE BE FORCED INTO RECLUSIVE GROUP THERAPY? riginal.
Hello, my name is Prof. Why. I studied at the Uni and majored in why Social Media needs to be grabbed by the neck and given a jolly good shake until its entrails disgorge and people have to face the truth that it's fairy floss perpetuated by people with nothing better to do than reside in the medium of an analogy likened to the strains of a babbling brook regurgitating resplendent crass in the almost holistic belief that footy and Social Mania are the backbone of our reason for having a good time on the weekends... (more)
A FISHY SMELL FETISH...PLEASE HELP! RIGINAL.
This true story contains graphic descript. Do not read on if you're squeamish.
Fishing is in my blood (see sardine semen/seaman?). Not long after i was born (about 12" give or take a nook) the Net doc told my mother unless i had a sardine sweat transfusion i would die. I believe my mother said,"good!" You see my mother was a Mermaid who never found her feet. "A likely tale!" i hear you say.
My father was worried. He had met my mum on the net...actually it was a sordid tangled affair. But mum was hooked line and sinker. On a scale... (more)
WAS JESUS BETRAYED OR PORTRAYED AS A RELIGIOUS HOUDINI? RIGINAL.
Floggers put down your vinyl comments. Rest your weary replica butts. Oh religious ones of nary a comment when presented with anything remotely suggestive of smoke and mirror 'insert' by over imaginative Biblical scholars of yore inscription.
Bit like the author of 'Chariots of the Gods.' "I entered this cave and saw...!" A chap in the cave with the over imaginative author admonished the descriptive 'Aladdin's Cave' insert in what was an interesting doco to say the least, saying that it was a load of descriptive... (more)
HOUDINI OR DID SHE DONE HE? RIGINAL.
Don't know whether you guys and or some of the 'welcome floggers' on a night off watched the latest film spiel interpret on Houdini's life? Episodic as it was i stopped watching halfway through the second episode.
Not only was Houdini's script over exaggerated in my opinion re involvement with the German 'spy' task, but quite frankly i tired not of the great man's unknotting and supreme escapism...i got tired of listening to his whinging wife. She just pissed me off something awful with her portrayal as the fearful one, "don't do this Houdini,... (more)