Thursday, September 20, 2018

133 results for 'gt281'

I Built a Birdhouse

By gt281, published on Mar 24, 2012

I was just sitting in my favorite overstuffed rocking chair, not rocking of course, because it was broken, has been for seven years, I think the horse died. Well I was just sitting there with my 12 pack of warm beer, watching pro-rastlin’ on my black and white 14 inch TV, the color TV was broken too. Watching a steel caged death match featuring, Triple H, the Undertaker, Machoman Savage and the return of Hulk Hogan, it was great as the bodies flew through the air and gosh there was blood everywhere, I think the Hulk broke Triple H’s back, then I heard her sweet ‘little’ voice from the couch... (more)


Two Brothers

By gt281, published on Mar 22, 2012

It was the day before Christmas and the battle did rage

And then a truce was called for the very next day

Two brothers met upon the battlefield on Christmas day

They exchanged photos, stories, and letters that day

Then upon the battlefield, they were found, dead they lay

Both shot through the heart some did say

By perhaps a bullet that had gone astray

Now side by side they do lay

In wooden caskets that their father had made

One wore the Yankee blue, the other, the Confederate grey

Now side by side, forever do their lay

... (more)


A Cosmic Sign----PArt IV

By gt281, published on Mar 16, 2012


Day four on the Vastitas Borealis plateau of Mars, outside the strange structure.

“Carol set up the ground radar imager against this ‘door’, lets see if there’s anything behind it,” Colonel Pike instructed.

“Roger,” Carol Stafford said. After a few minutes she commented. “According to these images the ‘door’ is about 12 inches thick and there appears to be a hollow space behind it, my guess would be its some kind of shaft, as we thought last night.”

“OK, lets dig out the bottom of this ‘door’ and see if we can pry it open. Jim, use the boom to have a closer... (more)


A Cosmic Sign---Part III

By gt281, published on Mar 12, 2012


(28 months later…at Cape Canaveral, Fl.)

“Hello space fans, Steven Gallot here reporting to you live from Cape Canaveral, Fl.” “We’re only about ten minutes away from the historic launch of the twin Hercules/Saturn 3 rockets which will be blasted into obit to form the fuel tanks for the 22 month long journey to Mars by Colonel Pike and his 7 person crew. The Hercules solid fuel tanks have been prepared and the three Saturn booster rockets will be ignited to blast them into orbit. Hercules 1 will be followed by Hercules 2 and then once an attitude of 8 miles high is reached... (more)


A Cosmic Sign---Part II

By gt281, published on Mar 9, 2012


“Colonel Pike, get in…I’m Ted Johnson12.”

“What? Where am I?”

“Sorry sir, everyone here is called Johnson. Well since you’re here, I guess it’s alright to tell you, this is the Groom Lake research facility in Nevada. Everyone else is here, you’re the last to arrive.”

Ted stops the cart near a small storage shed which is adjacent to one of the large Quonset huts. After punching in the code on the keypad, the door automatically opens. This way Colonel, Ted says as they both step inside the small shed.

“Please put your feet inside the red shoe outlines... (more)


A Cosmic Sign

By gt281, published on Mar 7, 2012


“Sir, you had better see this,” said mission specialist Johnson.

“What is it Johnson?” replied Director Petersen.

“We have some new images from MRO streaming in now sir, there appears to be an avalanche or rock slide near the northern polar region.”

“Real time?”

“Yes sir, nearly.”

“OK, I have it…Damn…that’s going to make a lot of the geologist’s boys happy. Sh**…Johnson…Johnson…lock down your data link and transfer all MRO images to NASA Delphi 2 internal code link only, transfer MRO data for the last three days to my terminal, then lock down... (more)


Whoopass License

By gt281, published on Mar 3, 2012

Well another week at work has gone by and I’m glad it’s over. What a train wreak, I had 27 E-grams in my mailbox all asking the same thing, ‘When are you going to be done with my project?’ Buttheads. I sent each one back this message: ‘Well, if you’d stop asking me that question, I would have been done two days ago’. Camelheaded morons. Their being ungrateful morons got me to thinking, which is always a dangerous thing for anyone to do.

I got to thinking about the morons of this world and I was also thinking about how the government could lower my taxes and pay off the National Debt.... (more)

Tags: humor, funny, buttheads, work humor

Stupid Laws

By gt281, published on Feb 29, 2012

In Wisconsin it is illegal to keep Limburger in the refrigerator, it must be kept in the freezer.

In Hawaii you can not get a boat license without first praying to the island God Kallimaininhapanoyno.

In San Francisco it is illegal to serve white wine in a common water glass, it must be served in a long stemmed wine glass purchased from Italian jewelry stores.

In Virginia it is against the law to pee on a Confederate headstone, but it is legal to piss on a Yankee (living or dead).

In Florida you are required to purchase a handicapped parking permit whether you are... (more)

Tags: rules, stupid laws, funny laws, idiotic laws

Silent Screams

By gt281, published on Feb 27, 2012

Where to start, where to start, they’re are so many, I guess I’ll just forge ahead, and start right here.


Geez what a stench, why do they hate us so? Did we not help them against the ‘HUN’? And from NAZI tyranny didn’t we set them free? Never will I set a foot upon that soil, for Anti-American they all seem to be. They hate us so, but hey at least they love our LA MONEY. Come to gay Pairee, stay awhile and spend plenty on us, then we’ll kick you in the ass and put you on the bus. What a small nation they are, but in land, larger than the rest. They have given the... (more)


TV Preview

By gt281, published on Feb 25, 2012

I’ve just read the Sunday paper’s TV preview section, and it’s pretty exciting I can tell you. Here’s just a small sample of some the glorious new TV shows that will be coming to the glowing cube in your living room. Yep, stupefying new entertainment shows thought up, by those 1 million, 2 million, 3 million dollar a year men from La-La Land and the New City, all of them between the ages of 12 & 14 yrs, who think that You-Tube videos are the greatest thing since ding-dongs and sliced bread.

THAT GIRL 2012……

The fantastic adventures of Britney. She gets married, 45 minutes... (more)


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