Tuesday, August 14, 2018

133 results for 'gt281'

Evil Rising

By gt281, published on Sep 25, 2012

Chop off his head, chop off his head, he does not pray as I do

I am the mullah and a fatwa have I decreed

Back to 1603 we all should be

We will have no phones, no lights, no motor cars

No TVs, no CDs, no radios, no music for I have decreed

Back to 1603 we all should be

I am the mullah, and the Koran have I studied

And I shall say what shall be or is not to be

“But what shall become of our luxuries?”

Chop off his head, chop off his head

For he questions what I have said

I am the mullah and decrees shall I make

And... (more)


Piddlebottom---Part 4 of 4

By gt281, published on Sep 21, 2012

Now like I said, there ain’t a whole lot to do in a jail cell, sos I just finished my dinner and then sat around on the cot there… Do you know, that there are 52 bars in a jail cell, Yep, 52, that’s acountin’ the half ones in the door too, Yep, there ain’t a whole lot to do in a jail cell… Now since it had been kinda of a ruff nite for me, I decided I might as well get some sleep, and since anybody who comes into the police station could see right into my cell, I wasn’t about to take off my clothes and such, no sir re Billybob, so I just gotts under the covers and tried to get me some sleep,... (more)


Piddlebottom---Part 3 of 4

By gt281, published on Sep 19, 2012

Then Officer Cleatus jumps outta the police car and starts arunnin’ up to the police station there and just about then I could see Sheriff Henry Bridgearms commin’ out the door, and then Officer Cleatus starts to atalkin’ to him and he was all excited like, cuz he was just kinda jumpin’ all around and waving his arms and such, and Sheriff Bridgearms was startin’ to get real mad, he was getting all red faced and I think I could see steam comin’ from his ears and everything…Now I should tell you a little something about Sheriff Henry Bridgearms, well, he’s not from around here, he’s an ex-marine... (more)


Piddlebottom---Part 2 of 4

By gt281, published on Sep 16, 2012

Yep, it was gonna be a good nite, I was finally gonna get home and I had time to get cleaned up and then head on over to the Sadie Hawkins dance and see Missy Tutlenose …Well, as you might know, Highway 20, leads right into Biotoxin, and just outside of town there, is ah, one of them convenience stores with gas and all, and seeins as I had twenty dollars just aburnin’ a hole in my pocket, I decided to stop, and pick me up something to drink beforin the big dance…Now this convenience store, has only been open for about 2 years now and it’s real nice, but beforin they could built it, there was... (more)


Piddlebottom---Part 1 of 4

By gt281, published on Sep 14, 2012

Now this is kind of a long one, so I suggest that you make yourself some popcorn and some coffee latte’ and get a pillow for your butt, before you start reading, OK?, OK…Well like the fat man upon the stage used to say,, ”and away we go”………..


Now I just want you to imagine yourself seating in one of those live theater halls with a bunch of other folks all gathered up and listening to one of them there country stand-up comedians, doing one of his story telling routines, while he’s a standing up there on stage in front of a microphone and... (more)


It's a Jungle

By gt281, published on Sep 3, 2012

“Hello sports fans, this is Dan Hack reporting to you live from one of the remotest regions of the world. I’m here today with Dr. Elmo Van Hectareflabagger, the world renowned hunter, anthorpodpeeologist, surfboard wax tester, bowling ball expert, and master noodle knot maker.”

“Ahh, here he comes now. Dr. Elmo, can you take a moment and talk to us about your latest adventure?”

“Certainly Stan.”

“Uhh, that’s Dan.”

“Right you are, if you say so. And please keep your voice down, you never know if one of the buggers is listening.”

“Ahh, just what is it that you’re... (more)


The Lifeboat

By gt281, published on Aug 29, 2012

As the sails of the ship were swallowed below the waves

Five souls within a tiny lifeboat watched as it disappeared

Only five souls left from that ship

All together now, bound within a tiny lifeboat

They were cast atop to drift among the waves.

For many hours, days, and years, were they adrift

The first to descend into the waves, the abyss, was youth

For youth never stays long

Then there were only four within this tiny lifeboat

The next to go was charity

Charity will only stay if all is well and right.

Atop the endless... (more)


The ase of the Black Monkey---Part 3 of 3

By gt281, published on Aug 25, 2012

I had the missing black monkey now, and I figured that somebody would soon be contacting me about it. This could be a big cream filled donut day for me. I just had to play with my gahoneys right and I’d walk away clean and with enough cash to pay off all my debts, then Gretchen and I could take off for some fun time in Aruba. She’s a fun gal, especially when she has six or seven Mai Tais in her, and great looking in a towel. I stayed in my office that night waiting for the inevitable phone call, it came about 50 minutes later. It was Clara Cairo saying that she had found the body of Margo and... (more)


The Case of the Black Monkey---Part 2 of 3

By gt281, published on Aug 23, 2012

I went back to my office around 9:00 the next morning, I took my bowling ball with me, bowling season was over and there was no reason for me to have it rolling around in my trunk. It always made me jumpy when it rolled over an empty bourbon bottle, besides it needed to be waxed again and I thought I could do it while waiting for a new client to show up. I had only been in my outer office a few moments when the door opened and in stepped a little woman wearing camera straps and a blue pin striped man's suit. She smelled like she had dropped a bottle of gardenia aftershave on her, it filled... (more)


The Case of the Black Monkey---Part 1 of 3

By gt281, published on Aug 19, 2012

There really wasn’t much I had to do that day, I was just fantasying what it would be like to be naked in a hot tub with Greta Garbo, while waiting for a new case to walk in the door and offer me lots of cash to solve whatever it was they needed. I wasn’t in the mood to be particular, my landlord had threatened to remove me from my apartment if I didn’t come up with the rent money I owed him for the last six months.

It was on a Tuesday as I remember that it all started, perhaps the most baffling case I would ever have. I was sitting at my desk in my third floor office in downtown Los... (more)


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