Friday, September 21, 2018

7 results for 'Brain'

Super Bowl XLII: By A Dude Who Does Not Watch Football.

By Brain, published on Feb 4, 2008

There was rioting in the streets of New York last night, flocks of drunkards reportedly taking stripping in the streets, yelling and dancing. This is all a bit surprising to me though because there were no Giants fans at the Super Bowl party I attended last night, and there was only one guy rooting for the Patriots. Nobody in attendance really cared who won or lost. On one hand you had the Giants, a team of punks from New Jersey who pretend that they’re from New York. They have their own set of die hard fans commonly they are cheap beer swilling degenerates with no sense of... (more)

Tags: new york, football, nfl, obama

Fred Thompson In '08 R.i.p

By Brain, published on Jan 23, 2008

There is an old folk saying that goes along the lines of “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if there is a prize for the loser”. However in the case of Senator Fred Thompson, there will be no prize, just humiliation, and looming lack of recognition as to who he is, aside from “That guy old white guy from Law and Order who is not Sam Waterston or Jerry Orbach”. No, a month from now, maybe even less, people will forget the name Fred Thompson and he’ll be just as unknown as he was when he first started his snail-paced race towards the White... (more)

Tags: jesus, myspace, movie, environment

The City That Never Thinks

By Brain, published on Jan 18, 2008

New York City, the super-awesome city, sometimes has some really sucky moments. An old girlfriend of mine was convinced that she and I would get out of the city one day and live a happy life in the country. Well I don’t see her anymore, but chances are it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. I love this city too much to leave it. But there are just some things about this place that anger me to no end.

When I was in high school, I used to frequent St. Marks Place on a regular basis. I used to buy records at Sounds, shop at St. Marks Comics, stare at all the bongs in the numerous... (more)

Tags: new york city

Letters And Numbers And Bums, Oh My!

By Brain, published on Jan 17, 2008

It's 2:00 a.m. and I am drunk, standing on the platform in Union Square waiting for the uptown number 6 train. It smells horrible underground, an acrid stench of sweat, urine, and stagnant water, and I am not sure if the smell is me or just the smell of the train station. I lift my shirt over my nose and take a whiff, it's definitely the train station. I lean over the edge of the platform, wobbling a bit from all the Guinness and whisky I’ve been drinking, to see if I can see the train coming. I see nothing in the tunnel. I look down and see two rats scurrying in the... (more)

Tags: new york

Complacence And Banality In Las Vegas

By Brain, published on Jan 16, 2008

I’d love to make a joke about the Democratic debates taking place in Las Vegas tonight, something witty, about politicians cheating us the way casinos do, or some shitty comparison of the race to the White House to a game of roulette, but I can’t. The fact of the matter is that Las Vegas is all too perfect of a location to host a political debate of any sort, let alone the Democrats. The mere thought of a political debate in Las Vegas brings about a nightmareish picture straight out of the mind of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. Visions of reptiles in suits selling their promise of change to a society... (more)

Tags: movie, obama

Zombie Nixon Rampages Through Arlington Cemetery

By Brain, published on Oct 23, 2007

The reanimated corpse of former president Richard Milhouse Nixon was spotted wandering aimlessly around Arlington National Cemetery today. Tourists and groundskeepers were horrified when they saw what was described as a "foul smelling zombie-like figure with a limp", staggering back and forth calling out for "brains".

One man who was there with his family to visit the grave of his son, a soldier that died in the current war in Iraq says that he was astonished to find that the former President has decomposed quite well. "His skin wasn't really in bad shape, it was almost olive green,... (more)

Tags: zombies, president zombies

Mike Gravel: A Wild and Crazy Guy

By Brain, published on Oct 9, 2007

Mike Gravel is like a cool new Indie CD. He's got great ideas, he sounds cool, but his popularity is limited to about 20 people. So far the polls I have read do not even give Gravel more than 2% of support. This does not matter to me. Mike Gravel is running for the Democratic ticket in 2008, and I am going to vote for him.

He's being written off by the media as some sort of lunatic. And they are right, he is a crazy fucker. But since when has being crazy ever stopped someone from running a country? Remember when Howard Dean got written off as "crazy" because he screamed really loud and... (more)

Tags: presidential election 2008, mike gravel

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