REAL STORIES
BY REAL PEOPLE Search
Tuesday, December 12, 2017

17 results for 'AM Nelson'

Holiday Party Queen

By AM Nelson, published on Nov 14, 2006

In honor of the upcoming holiday season, I applaud the future party drunks. Contemplate that woman who gets a little tipsy, but just looks like so much fun! She possesses the perfect body and is well aware of how to move it. We see her everywhere. She is out every night and always looks fabulous. She will be at all the important holiday parties - she always is…please meet Madeline. Noisy bottle rummaging in the distance calmed her. The zip of an unexpected run of green lights pleased her ears; no horns blaring. The signature stomp and scuffle through her ceiling was how she knew she... (more)

Tags:

Twos and Fives

By AM Nelson, published on Nov 10, 2006

Absent from BrooWaHa are my first two articles. This is because I have sold them. I offer encouragement to submit, extend, and try. I continue to write and submit to BrooWaHa. I explore different styles, ideas, and ways of expressing the world I see. I'm learning to edit. The instant feedback is priceless for impovement. Although my popularity has recently declined, I believe this honesty from readers and contributors will strengthen my work. So thanks for the twos and the fives. I aim to please, but sometimes miss. But I do have ten cents a word! (more)

Tags: broowaha

A Modest Election: Vote for the Snake in Two Thousand and Eight

By AM Nelson, published on Nov 9, 2006

"Voters have been waiting for a charismatic leader who knows his or her priorities, is a clear communicator, and has a "can-do" attitude. Running on an independent ticket, without need of campaign financing, may I present Satan and Death for the Presidency of the United States of America for 2008!" Spokesperson Mallory Day exclaims.

Roaring cheers are deafening as Satan and Death emerge from stage fireworks and fog. Satan is wearing a fashionable red body suit and hooves, while Death has chosen an understated black cloak. "Satan's one priority is to gather the immortal souls of... (more)

Tags: political satire, presidential election, political humor

Suds-A-Life

By AM Nelson, published on Nov 9, 2006

My ripped pockets are full of quarters. A glance at the wall change machine and I realize this place accommodates more than meter-maids and arcade owners. The taste of burnt dryer lint on my tongue welcomes me this month. Nine washers in perfect alignment begin to speak and sputter, “Gurgle and chirp, whoosh cha-cling.” Lime juice stiffened pants call for extra detergent. Coffee drool sings for bleach. Potions and lotions and goop all entwine with fabric as the symphony continues. I conduct with an expert mind, strong back, and sticky hands. Hard plastic chairs in blue and red... (more)

Tags:

Who Do I Blow?

By AM Nelson, published on Nov 6, 2006

The new reality TV show, “Who Do I Blow?” is inspiring and touching young viewers across America. Swept up in game show hysteria, combined with viewers’ paradigmatic shift from sitcoms to reality TV, “Blow” embraces the challenge of finding a job in Los Angeles. Contestant screening is based on desperation, ability, showmanship, previous partners, and desirability. Winners receive starring roles, executive positions, or partnerships to tycoons. The network is considering adding a monetary pot mid-season to attract a new crop of innocent faces. Losers will wear humiliation and... (more)

Tags: los angeles, environment

Stranger Expectations

By AM Nelson, published on Nov 3, 2006

Upon day nine here in Los Angeles, the friendliness of strangers strikes me. Granted all but five people are strangers to me. However, I figure even the natives and long-term residents of LA encounter strangers on a daily basis. One begins to ask, what do I want from a stranger? Do I expect frozen chilliness, psychopathic tendencies, or just people going about their business? What are my stranger expectations? In Los Angeles, I’ve observed a certain smile and acknowledgement. The uniqueness of this, I believe, is an LA-ism: a culturally defining act, motion, and habit. Allow some... (more)

Tags: los angeles, fashion, santa monica

Report Suspicious Activity

By AM Nelson, published on Oct 29, 2006

Mysteriously floating in the windless sky, an ostentation of water fowl lament the evening’s activity. Late last night from the roof of the Cadillac Hotel, in Venice Beach, gruesome events were sighted. The generally good-natured and entertaining spare-changers of the boardwalk, took on an aggressive, unearthly quality, as they began to bite and tear apart costumed party-goers. “That crunch and munch sound filled the air long after the screams had died away,” cashier of Henry’s Beach Market, Ted Billows states. His hand shakes slightly as he attempts to add more sugar to an overflowing... (more)

Tags: paris hilton, venice beach, police, restaurant

« previous 1 2 next »


x