Friday, September 21, 2018

Jon Payne's Profile

A word about Jon Payne:

My name is Jonathan. I grew up in a small town, meaning it was run by midgets. I would describe my personality as being seriously sarcastic. My Mom has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and when I was growing up she would flip the light switch on and off all day while yelling "don't make me repeat myself!" I don't like racist people....or the Dutch. I try to work out alot so girls will like me for my body and stop demanding I have a personality....I'm not a piece of brain, people. A psychologist once told me that I have trust issues....I told her I didn't believe her. I'm a little like Christopher Reeves in that I just can't seem to walk and chew gum at the same time. I have a dog with two legs named Wheelbarrel. I applied for a job as a missionary, but the church told me that I would need to get married before getting the missionary position. Hopefully I'll get married one day, but maybe I need to stop looking for that "special girl" on the little yellow school bus. Whenever I play Scrabble with people who don't speak English, I just end up "taking their word" for it. I like people who are fun and spontaneous, who keep me on my toes, like a midget at a urnal. I went into a Hollywood restaurant and asked if they had any model/actor positions. Hopefully all my dreams come true....except the one where I show up to school naked.

Local hangouts:

The couch....sometimes the kitchen.




I make my own.


I can't act, so I don't like to watch people show off who can.

Recent Articles

Click here to see all of my articles »

I am following (1) Writers Full List